Headed to Breckenridge...

[RumpleForeskin]

...for a week. Got a conference all day Thursday and part of Friday with our brokers (I work for a small RIA and BD) and sponsors. Gonna play some golf Friday afternoon with some of of the reps and then then spend the next 5 days just havin' some fun with the family. Thought I'd do a little white water river raftin', mountain biking, some hiking, and a couple of other activities in between. If any of you have been to Breckenridge during the summer, then let me know what other activities I can do. If no other suggestions are recommended, then I might just hit the links again.

[Dinsdale]

Dude -- you did not just ask for advice in this forum, did you?


OK, I'll fire the first round.

If no other suggestions are recommended,

I suggest you go fuck yourself.

[RumpleForeskin]

I'm sorry, but I didn't see the travel forum.





Fuck off btw.


TIA

[Risa]

...for a week. Got a conference all day Thursday and part of Friday with our brokers (I work for a small RIA and BD) and sponsors. Gonna play some golf Friday afternoon with some of of the reps and then then spend the next 5 days just havin' some fun with the family. Thought I'd do a little white water river raftin', mountain biking, some hiking, and a couple of other activities in between. If any of you have been to Breckenridge during the summer, then let me know what other activities I can do. If no other suggestions are recommended, then I might just hit the links again.

Screw your wife. Relax. Massage your wife. Take lots of pictures. Make great networking contacts. Post pictures, Sudden Sam style.

[PSUFAN]

Please label the pics - this one is my wife, and this one is the mountain range...

[Risa]

Please label the pics - this one is my wife, and this one is the mountain range...

You're very weird. I don't know too many women who would prefer their men refer to their tits as mosquito bites, instead. Like dudes and cock size, women like to know their men appreciate and are impressed in some way by their secondary sex characteristics.

And mountains are better than flapjacks, ;) yes? Rumple and family'll have a good time on the company's dime. White water rafting sounds bitching. It's not for me, but it sounds bitching.... the scent of water, wilderness, getting smacked by cold spray, enjoying the hot sun and feeling like you're taming the river as you ride. Sounds much better than boring ass golfing.

And pictures a definitely a must. Too bad he can't bring a helmet cam.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

White water rafting sounds bitching. It's not for me...

Not surprising seeing as rafts aren't wi-fi enabled.

[Biggie]

Please label the pics - this one is my wife, and this one is the mountain range...

Rack 'em.

[War Wagon]

Thought I'd do a little white water river raftin'...

Head for Salida and do the Brown's canyon run on the Arkansas river. Check out the Royal Gorge from above, maybe take the tram ride down.

Thank me later.

[Rootbeer]

And mountains are better than flapjacks

Buckwheat flapjacks with nipples that point at your bellybutton? I'll take mosquito bites thanks.

[Goober McTuber]

Rumple,

The white water will be fun, but you don’t want to do it in a raft. Try a canoe, Luther says it’s the only way to go.


Risa,

Big tits are all well and good, but the beer gut has got to go.

[Hobbes]

Check out the Royal Gorge from above

....and be prepared to spend a preposterous amount of money to do so. Royal Gorge is cool, but they make you pay through the nose for the privilege of seeing nature. They charge you $23 per person just to get into the "park." Plus, Canon City is pretty isolated; there isn't much other than the Royal Gorge around there.

If you're going rafting anyway, head west on I-70 into Glenwood. It's closer than Canon City and there's lots of outfitters that have set up shop there. Plenty of good food, things to see and do, and you can relax at the hot springs when you're done.

Stop by the Breckenridge Brewery and order a plate of their house nachos. You won't be able to eat anything else. Wait, you said the wife is with you? Better make it two plates.

[PSUFAN]

Wait, you said the wife is with you? Better make it two plates.

Better yet, just smuggle in a gallon container of sour cream for her, and enjoy your nachos unperturbed.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

How could the weight of a canoe holding Foreskin's wife negotiate a fast moving river? I don't understand the physics there. At least if the canoe tipped and she fell out, she'd dam the river.

[PSUFAN]

First, you'd experience the challenge of extending an oar out past her bulk and making contact with water. You'd likely fail and be left rudderless - kind of like when you were mating with her yawning, expansive, echoing vaginal cleft. Your progress down the river would be slow at first - like a particularly large moneyshot down IRIE's esophogas - and a torrent would swirlingly build behind you. Water always wins, though...and the torrent would power you through the channel in a tremendous explosive burst, like the yearly times that Rumple finds his beast's g-spot with his pickaxe and compass . Thereafter, your speed would know no limit, until you hurtled into some particularly sturdy outcropping of Basalt and perished in a monolithic explosion of fat, flesh, blood, and the paltry remains of your canoe. Someone would catch all this on video and post it at .net and get racked.

[Risa]

What did Rumple's wife do to any of you all? Y'all are some sad mother fuckers. Not as sad as the mother fuckers who dissed certain trolls' kids, but still some sad motherfuckers.

Hobbes, is it perhaps a good idea after all, environment wise, that they charge so much per person to enter the park? or do people get angry and trash the park out of spite because of how much they paid?

who gets the money and where does it go?

[PSUFAN]

What did Rumple's wife do to any of you all?

She appeared.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

like the yearly times that Rumple finds his beast's g-spot with his pickaxe and compass

The compass will only spin in such cavernous depths. He'd need a Bluetooth and a direct line to Bear Grylls for detailed instruction on how to navigate himself.

[PSUFAN]

I can see Bear rolling up his sleeves and going in to gnash his teeth on her pigsnout-sized clitoris.

In fact, why not Man vs. Wild - Escape from Mt. Rumplewife?

[Risa]

like the yearly times that Rumple finds his beast's g-spot with his pickaxe and compass

The compass will only spin in such cavernous depths. He'd need a Bluetooth and a direct line to Bear Grylls for detailed instruction on how to navigate himself.

Spoken like a fool who can grip his whole dick in all 4 inches of his hand, and thinks the extra inch or two he's got hidden behind his own belly count for something.

Be a man.

She hasn't done shit to y'all... and she (most importantly) hasn't done shit to Rumple. The man's in love with her, and she's in love with him. She hasn't pull any Mrs. Lagos action, and no Mrs. Tm1 action on the other side of the weight equation; you fat yourselves fucks need to chill.

Instead of hating on a happy marriage, celebrate.

[Goober McTuber]

I guess fat people gotta stick together. Probably due to their voluminous secretions.

Go fuck yourself, you tedious cunt.

[Atomic Punk]

First, you'd experience the challenge of extending an oar out past her bulk and making contact with water. You'd likely fail and be left rudderless -

Think outside the box PSU. You roll her on her back and he stays dry floating on top of her as a pontoon boat. Rudderless? Why wastes those empty pizza boxes? You just jam one in her cunt and steer that way until the cardboard gets too soggy. Replace and repeat as often as necessary.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

What did Rumple's wife do to any of you all?

She appeared.

Something that huge doesn't just appear; it grows, evolves and morphs into a behemoth spectacle.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

you fat yourselves fucks need to chill.

What is this, KCKaley meets Frank Rizzo-style posting?

[War Wagon]

The white water will be fun, but you don’t want to do it in a raft. Try a canoe...

Yeah, if you have a death wish, try a canoe.

You'll have to haul it out there yourself, though. They don't rent canoes, maybe a kayak, and good luck with that as well.

Goobs, he might get hisself kilt, and then how would you feel?

Don't answer that.

[Goober McTuber]

The white water will be fun, but you don’t want to do it in a raft. Try a canoe...

Yeah, if you have a death wish, try a canoe.

You'll have to haul it out there yourself, though. They don't rent canoes, maybe a kayak, and good luck with that as well.

Goobs, he might get hisself kilt, and then how would you feel?

Sorry that you weren't riding shotgun.

[Y2K]

The white water will be fun, but you don’t want to do it in a raft. Try a canoe...

Yeah, if you have a death wish, try a canoe.

You'll have to haul it out there yourself, though. They don't rent canoes, maybe a kayak, and good luck with that as well.

Goobs, he might get hisself kilt, and then how would you feel?

Sorry that you weren't riding shotgun.

You screwed up the big finish Goobs...
Shotgun in a canoe?

Think Motorcycle.....

[Ang]

Rump,

I took my kid and one of his friends to Breckenridge a couple of years ago. The bike trails are very good. You can rent bikes about anywhere along main street or whatever it's called and they go for miles and miles. The bike trails are probably the best thing there. You can go river rafting from there, but it involves an all day thing of riding a van to the river and back. Well worth it if you are willing to commit a whole day. The ski area has summer stuff to do, but it's mostly kid things...although I did enjoy the little skid cars that go down the hill in a concrete swale. That is actually pretty fun. We found a historical mine to take a tour in, which is the way that Breckenridge actually started, as a mining town. For night life there are little bars and restaurants and for a week, you will probably see them all a few times.

It's a neat little town to visit, in a beautiful setting. You can do as much or as little as you want there. I chose to slow down there, because the year before we went to Beaver Creek and hit every river and mountain, so was in a more relaxed mode on our trip to Breckenridge, but it was nice. Neat town, nice little river walk and good margaritas at the Mexican restaurant on the Marriott end of the riverwalk...have fun!

[Goober McTuber]

Yeah, if you have a death wish, try a canoe.

You'll have to haul it out there yourself, though. They don't rent canoes, maybe a kayak, and good luck with that as well.

Goobs, he might get hisself kilt, and then how would you feel?

Sorry that you weren't riding shotgun.

You screwed up the big finish Goobs...
Shotgun in a canoe?

Think Motorcycle.....

I think they’re both quite skinny. They could sit side by side.

BTW, the last time I went looking for Glucosamine & Chondroitin, my local Walgreens was out of the 500/400 mg configuration, so I went with the 750/600 mg. They’re like fucking horse pills.

[RumpleForeskin]

Went down to Frisco, CO this morning and caught a ride with a guide who took us to Silver Platte river south of Breckenridge to go fly fishing. Since none of us (wifey, father-in-law, & me) knew the first thing about fly fishing, our guide spent about half an hour learning how to loop cast and negotiating a catch. After we got the hang of it, he scouted our first spot. No luck.

Next, we moved a little upstream putting me the furthest upstream. I took off my backpack and made my first cast up the river...it was a mediocre cast, so I let the fly drift on the surface all the way to a dark bank where the river made a major bend. BOOM! Bright lookin' beauty just flew out of the river and wiggled like you would see in a National Geographic documentary. He started to swim upstream really fast, so I gave him some room and released enough slack in my line to let him run. Then, he stopped and let me reel him in a little and then his next move was to swim to the bank and let my line get tangled, but then I jumped in the river and pulled him out in the middle. We fought for a good 10 minutes before he finally tired out and my guide netted him in shallower water.

The Guide estimated the Brown Trout to be about 21 inches long and over 4 pounds.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

The Guide estimated the Brown Trout to be about 21 inches long and over 4 pounds.

Whoa! How big was it before it got brown?

-Lagos

Anyway, sounds like you had a nice time, Foreskin. Did the wife come along on the fishing trip, or did she stay at the Days Inn for seconds on the continental breakfast?

BOOM! Bright lookin' beauty just flew out of the river and wiggled like you would see in a National Geographic documentary

Ahhh, I assumed far too early. She was able to make it. Let me ask you something. When she projectiled herself from the water, did you wonder how somebody slapped a blonde wig on a walrus, or were you able to recognize her immediately?

[RumpleForeskin]

It was fun. I've been wanting to go fly fishing since I was a little kid. To finally get to go and just learn how to do it and stand on a scenic river bank for hours just enjoying the experience was enough for me...but to catch that big trout was more than icing on the cake. Something I'll never forget.

[Risa]

The Guide estimated the Brown Trout to be about 21 inches long and over 4 pounds.

But did you eat it? How did it taste?

[RumpleForeskin]

Catch and release area. Oh well. I got plenty of trout in the freezer back home.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

But did you eat it? How did it taste?

Are you kidding? Rumple would have to go in with scuba gear to feast on that trouser flounder. The taste might be tolerable if he treats the act like a bullride - must get it done in less than 8 seconds, or the inner walls of Mrs. Foreskin's babypushing region start to fester with the stench of coagulated goat cheese.

[Risa]

Catch and release area. Oh well. I got plenty of trout in the freezer back home.

On the one hand, that's cool. On the other hand, PETA would say that's torture. On the other other hand, it's better to catch and release, than to waste it by mounting it and not eating it, though apparently taxidermy for fish is different than other taxidermy. Waste is never cool, in hunting/fishing.

I'm glad you and your wife and your dad in law had a great time on your business trip. You sound happy. Since you've produced a photo, you're one up on Smackaholic, who's (admittedly) still on his vacation enjoying himself and taking photos.

If you've got some bluegill or rainbow in that freezer, when you fry some up let me know. I'll be in the middle of the desert, being bitter and trying to inhale the nostalgic goodness from your skillet. Heh.

[Dinsdale]

Catch and release for browns?

What kinda fucked up BS is that?


Yeah, better protect those native species... oh, wait -- you weren't in Germany. Nevermind.

'Round these parts, we have another term for non-native species -- we call that "get them the hell out of there, they're eating all the salmon."

Browns are some of the better eating "shit fish" anywhere, though. Fuckers live in the sewer around here, or so they tell me, but there's much better places to get after them than the sewer.


Well done, Blimp Pilot. Just don't become an arrogant flyfishing asshole, and I won't have to beat you up. And don't tell me I can't pull a steelhead out of that hole, just because your water-pounding ass couldn't, and if I decide to try anyway, you sure the fuck better not get in my face about it... that was a weird freaking day on the river.


Flyfishing jackasses. About the same class as baitchuckers, with more expensive waders.


Actually, after many many years of obsessive compulsive fishing, I took a partial hiatus. That's quickly coming to an end. Except the salmon/steelhead runs, for a variety of reasons, have freaking sucked lately.


RACK fishing. I doubt I'd ever meet any of you tards for a beer, but I'd probably go fishing with you. And of course pull first, biggest, and most... because that is how I roll.

[PSUFAN]

If you've got some bluegill or rainbow in that freezer, when you fry some up let me know. I'll be in the middle of the desert, being bitter and trying to inhale the nostalgic goodness from your skillet. Heh.

I knew it was a matter of time before your crotch ran freely with zesty buttermilk for Rumple. Seeing as he is willing to mount Mt. Rumplewife and let his fluids seep down into her acrid fur-rimmed abysses, he might just be willing to hogtie and cow-lick your lumbering flabsteaks.

Best of luck, Annie - and to you, Rumple. I suggest mudsharking her with the biggest thing you can pull out of a river.

[Risa]

If you've got some bluegill or rainbow in that freezer, when you fry some up let me know. I'll be in the middle of the desert, being bitter and trying to inhale the nostalgic goodness from your skillet. Heh.

I knew it was a matter of time before your crotch ran freely with zesty buttermilk for
Rumple.

PSUFan running 'fluid running freely' smack on anyone.
Tsk.

Seeing as he is willing to mount Mt. Rumplewife

She is his wife. Celebrate, don't hate.

and let his fluids seep down into her acrid fur-rimmed abysses,

How Lovecraftian. Since when were you afraid of pussy.

he might just be willing to hogtie and cow-lick your
lumbering flabsteaks.

cow-lick. ha. you think i'm trying to throw some deeeeees on him?

nah. he just sounds really happy with his vacation. I'm happy for him. Fishing is always good, catch and release just sounds strange to me -- to me, if you catch it, you eat it. There's no other reason to fish, except for solitude.... which I reckon is why Dinsdale would go fishing with anyone.

If I remember correctly, he described himself as 'quiet' in real life. He wouldn't feel pressured to talk or bullshit or whatever, if he was out fishing with anyone. Could just be, and let be. He could be himself. It's rather Brokebackish, just without the sex.

I suggest mudsharking her

:? That's either misogynist, or racist, or both. Which is it?

[PSUFAN]

Since when were you afraid of pussy.

Since when did I need to pack Everest gear to entertain a coupling?