Round 1: Peanut gallery thread

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:01 pm

And the other sack rider pipes in.

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:10 pm

Papa Willie wrote:

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:16 pm

haywood wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:

I laffed

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:44 pm

haywood wrote:And the other sack rider pipes in.

Epic.

Loved your High Five thread over at Fag7, Moe. Or is it Larry?

Except where it died off right in the middle. What was that all about? PMs flying furriously?

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:21 pm

Diogenes wrote: Fag7

How clever, did you come up with that all by yourself? Nah, you had to have help. Good thing you didn't use that gem in the SO, everyone probably would have dropped out and left you as the winner.

Charles De Mar · Post by **Charles De Mar** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:31 pm

haywood wrote:
Diogenes wrote: Fag7
How clever, did you come up with that all by yourself? Nah, you had to have help. Good thing you didn't use that gem in the SO, everyone probably would have dropped out and left you as the winner.

I was funny and fresh.

YOU

not so much.

Gawd....i can't believe i actually read your shite. I must refresh teh funnay

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:35 pm

Awesome blast, Larry.

For the record, genius, Mace has been around these boards since about forever, and myself for quite a while. So far I think we've only agreed on two things. That Dimsdale is a pretentious buffoon with delusions of adequacy. And that you are a fucking idiot.

Have a nice day, Bitch.

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:42 pm

Diogenes wrote:Awesome blast, Larry.

For the record, genius, Mace has been around these boards since about forever, and myself for quite a while. So far I think we've only agreed on two things. That Dimsdale is a pretentious buffoon with delusions of adequacy. And that you are a fucking idiot.

Have a nice day, Bitch.

Thanks Homer.

Glad to know that length of service is the most important thing around these parts. That would explain the lack of quality. Remind me again not to return after teh SO as I don't want to end up a takeless sack rider like you.

Moorese · Post by **Moorese** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:11 pm

My favorite blast from Round One.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:16 pm

The brilliance that is haywood...

haywood wrote:First rounds can be won by quantity and is usaully filled with lots of faliling and so forth as the posters "feel each other up."

That being said, I have something good in the works for my opponent..

Well you had the flailing and avoiding quality down pat.
I must have missed the 'something good'.

haywood wrote:That could work, a Kick My Own Ass ploy.

I'm guessing Kicking Your Own Ass is a speciality.

Can't say how well it 'worked'.

Then there was his stellar coaching...

haywood wrote:Dio just hopes to wear you down with extra helpings of bullshit.

Keep him on track, errr... smack and he'll fold.

haywood wrote:
Rumps wrote:Its hard to play this game when one guy thinks it is a debate.
Bwahahahaha!

You need to post that in your thread, it may suck all the air out of Dio's head.

The guy who' thinks it's a debate' (not surprised it was all over your head) is 'takeless'? And good call on me folding.

Or not. Then there was your genius analysis...

haywood wrote:Jay in Phoenix may be losing. Needs to move on to another tactic, getting stale fast.

Praying for a bye.

haywood wrote:I hope scottysixx just takes his beating and walks away, I'm done with him and prepping for round 2.

But you didn't get everything wrong.

haywood wrote:yeah, it has been painful . I even say that about some of my drivel.

haywood wrote:I will definitely need to be better next round.

Of course, I could have saved this on the off chance that you make it to the next round and I draw you.

Like I would need to bother.

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:17 pm

SO Participants wrote:Oh, shit. I didn't know Moorese was watching.

May I have a Mulligan?

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:23 pm

Moorese wrote:My favorite blast from Round One.

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:34 pm

Wow, your epoch detective skills amaze me. I'll bet you were trained by Annie with how skillfully you broke down all those quotes. At least one of us doesn't take this message boarding so seriously that it becomes a "lifestyle." When you are sitting in front of your computer tonight in semen and shit stained underwear typing with one hand, check out some suicide websites. It is the best option for you and the rest of the world.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:33 am

Mace wrote:'Sup, AP? Good to see you around here again.

Mace

Been really fucking really with school and work. I haven't had much time to even read most of the SO. I did read DC Smackmaster's bout and it reminded me of what actually being funny is all about. This new guy scottysixx??? Hope the dude sticks around this board. I even saw a comment where Wags won a round. Shit happens.

'Sup RF? All is good, just fucking busy.

If SG's sister's AP shit troll advances, then auscultate for my flatus.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:36 am

cinderella_undercover wrote:
Moorese wrote:My favorite blast from Round One.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:02 am

R-Jack wrote: That goddamn kike played you like a dradle and tossed you aside like a suit at regular price.

I officially like this thread better than the entire smack-off thus far.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:20 am

Not to sound like Annie, but damn, Catfish is a nick I'd like to see up in here...he had about 2 posts at Scobode, that was the last I saw him...

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:11 am

R-Jack wrote:That goddamn kike played you like a dradle and tossed you aside like a suit at regular price.

Best line dropped in these parts in ages, smackoff included.

And Mace sure proves that the "Good" Old Days were inappropriately named.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:39 am

LOL at R-Jack's line!

He scooooooooo0ooooores!!!!!!!

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:06 am

R-Jack is a fucking menace.

I mean that in a good way.

DoggFather · Post by **DoggFather** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:20 am

Most disturbing line in round 1 compliments of TWIS:

I remember meeting this freak in college who had this fantasy of wearing a fishbowl on his head and having chicks sit on top of it and shit, just so he could watch.

WTF?

Funny shite throughout. Gotta give most creative without having to pic wytch to Jay in Phoenix. Most entertaining to me was scottysix vs. haywood.

I'm liking the creativity. Keep it up shmackers.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:45 pm

R-Jack wrote:You got outdone by fucking TWIS of all people.

I'm just gonna take that as a ~~backhanded~~ compliment and move along.

R-Jack wrote:That goddamn kike played you like a dradle and tossed you aside like a suit at regular price*.

Throw another Jew on the Rack!

* Seriously, I have a cousin in the business so I get a deal, but does anyone actually pay "regular" price for a suit?

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:58 pm

Mace wrote:
haywood wrote:While you sit in the cheap seats and flap your gums, there are people in the Smackoff doing what you, a gigantic pussy, won't do. Which is stick their neck out , whether for fun or the win. You on the other hand have very little to offer and the only SMACK around you is the sound made when attaching yourself to the latest nutsack to hide behind.

I do understand that the Mickey D's smack hurt you but how can I be sorry for a person who repeatedly receives "severance" packages consisting of a greasy t-shirt and visor/ballcap.

I am available for lessons BTW, because as bad as I may be, I am 3-4 notches better than you.
This place is called the Peanut Gallery, Haywood....you know, a place for us peanuts to gather and comment on the smackoff. Sorry you didn't appreciate my comments about your epic performance but, like you say, I'm a "gigantic pussy".

You're right about something else, haywood, I just don't have the "sack" to enter any more smackoffs these days....whoa is me....and you know why? Well, sweet cheeks, I'm gonna tell ya. So gather 'round the campfire, little buddy, and ol' Mace is gonna give you a history lesson.....

You see, haywood....do you mind if I call you twatlips for short? Anyway, I've been in a smackoff or three but the one that traumatized me and left me "sackless" is the one I'm gonna tell you about. See, back in the day, I coasted through a couple of rounds of this smackoff and ended up in the semi-finals facing off against Jay in Phoenix...back then he was just known as Gay Jay, but that's another story....and ol' Jay was pretty damn sharp back in the day...you know, before he got all senile and started talkin' with that weird accent and all.....and, anyway, at the end of our semi-final round, Jay thought he had it won.....and, to be honest, so did I.....so I knew that I was gonna have to take immediate action if there was any hope of me gettin' the win.

Well, the judges tallied the votes and, lo and behold, they decided that I was goin' to the finals. Now, ol' Jay wasn't too happy about that and he made some accusations about me givin' blowjobs to all of the judges....something that I've neither confirmed or denied, or even acknowledged....until now. Well, Jay.....it wasn't all of the judges....I only needed a majority of the judges to win (thank God it wasn't a jury trial with 12 of my peers and needing a unanimous vote). I've felt really bad about that whole thing for these many years and, to be honest, it always left a bad taste in my mouth.....'nuff said.

Well, haydog...errr...twatlips, I moved on to the finals against another opponent and we posted our required posts within the time limits, sharing jabs, telling each other "you work at McDonalds", and all of that other epic smack that guys like you bring to the table, and...I'll be damned if it didn't end in a tie. Well, you can't very well end a smackoff in a tie, so we had, if I remember right, a one post sudden death tie breaker.

Now, I went into that tie breaker with visions of fryin' up a big ol' Catfish, I did....I had the baked beans in the over, hash browns fryin' on the stove, and a big ol' fryin' pan ready for the big cat. Well, I had that ol' Catfish rollin' around in my great grandma's favorite cornmeal batter and all ready to fry, but when I tossed him into that pan of boilin' oil, he hit the oil, did a 180, and jumped right out of the pan wieldin' a big ol' fillet knife of his own. Now, the next several minutes remain a blur in my old and fading memory banks, but the next thing I know, I'm watching this ol' Catfish standing over the stove with a couple of nuts in the fryin' pan....and he was cookin' up a celebratory delicacy that he was gonna wash down with that 12 pack of Grain Belt beer he was icin' down in the cooler.....all at my expense.

The moral of this story, Mr. Haywood, if there is one, is "don't go messin' with a big ol' Catfish wieldin' a fillet knife if you plan on keepin' your nuts", but, after readin' your material for the past couple of days......I realize that I'm way too late tellin' you this story.

Props to your for having the "sack" to enter the contest....but I ain't callin' you twatlips for no reason.

Mace

Dear Mr. Bitterman,

Holy bejeebus, all that self gloss only to say what?

Next time just say you lost.

sin,
Everyone

dotdotdot · Post by **dotdotdot** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 2:22 pm

Can't we all just get along?

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 2:49 pm

dotdotdot wrote:Can't we all just get along?

Fuck you!

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:00 pm

RACK R-Jack for disemboweling Spamurai Gasbag. And Rack him for stepping up in the Smackoff even though the format doesn’t match nicely to his style. I still think he did more than enough to take out Kid Nashville. And a pre-emptive FUCK OFF to the FAT fucking RETARD that is certain to reply to this.

haywood · Post by **haywood** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:02 pm

hahahahaha

I wonder which is more pathetic, Mace or his Team Nutsack of Viagenes an Spray.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:35 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Catfish is a nick I'd like to see up in here...

Cat was/is a credit to forklift drivers everywhere.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:53 pm

War Wagon wrote:Cat was/is a credit to forklift drivers everywhere.

Catfish was and is a credit to the art of smack in general.

This or any other board would be a far better place with his stamp on it.

Jay

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 4:02 pm

Jsc810 wrote:
Jsc810
I won a Smackoff round!
Not sure who made that my title, but it wasn't me. And in any event, the judges haven't rendered their decisions yet. Don't count your chickens ...

the fix was in......T1B must prevail* at any and all costs....

*stolen from a PSU post

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:48 pm

haywood wrote:Viagenes.

I told your mom, I don't use any pills. It just comes natural.

Tell her to stop calling.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:38 pm

Anklebing? Homosmack? Way to show everyone how it’s done with “original blasts” and all. What a simpering tard.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:47 pm

Fandango wrote:
You see, this is the kind of ankle biting bullshit that has driven people away from here in droves.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:00 pm

Fandango wrote:Do you really think I'm trying to "be original?"

No, I think you’re trying to be an über-tard. It’s what you’re good at. The idea that you think you’re worth getting worked up over was amusing, though.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:04 pm

The first warning sign that a person is addicted to suck -- making excuses such as "I don't care" for their extreme level of sucking.

Charles De Mar · Post by **Charles De Mar** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:34 pm

Dinsdale wrote:The first warning sign that a person is addicted to suck -- making excuses such as "I don't care" for their extreme level of sucking.

Why dont you STFU, you add nothing to the conversation except perhaps the faint smell of poo.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:08 pm

Look man, everybody poops.

Opps, sorry Luth.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:03 am

Fandango wrote:
R-Jack wrote: You see, this is the kind of ankle biting bullshit that has driven people away from here in droves.

Nope it was me and Bsmack that did that. We alone have the mighty power of boardkill, just ask Dins. He is the self appointed spokesperson for every legendary poster who is not present, which only comes back to bite him in the ass when they show up.

Brock in Va Beach · Post by **Brock in Va Beach** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:40 am

There's a hundred times better smacking going on in this thread than in any matchup we saw in the last few days. Racks to all involved.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:51 am

Just another day on the ranch, RA. :)