And the critics say 3 out of 5 stars.......

[KC Scott]

Friend told me about Associatedcontent.com so havingdead time on a recent fucked up flight to Seattle I banged out an article on the joys of business travel:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/articl ... flier.html

For some reason the geniuses that edit this put me under travel, rather than humor which was my first tag - then again maybe they were just trying to tell me something like... it's not funny.

I'm sure there's somewhere you can leave a message as to the level of suck on this article, and I'd expect nothing less

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Hair Gel

I rated your article 4 out of 5 :Raydah James:

[War Wagon]

I'm sure there's somewhere you can leave a message as to the level of suck on this article, and I'd expect nothing less

This alone made it a worthwhile read:

As the attendant proceeds to explain that they are out of cars, I'll be the one remembering the scene from Seinfeld where Jerry says "you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them". I also shed a hidden tear that there will never be a show that funny on TV again.

Nice work, Scotty.

[Uncle Fester]

Do you realise that the people up there are getting cookies?!

Nice job, btw.

[OCmike]

Solid read.

BTW, for me, there's nothing worse than sitting in an aisle seat with a she-beast in the middle, whose gut forces her bingo wings over the armrest and totally violating my space. Yeah, leaning at a 45 degree angle is a very comfortable position to sit in for 3 1/2 hours.

[BSmack]

And of course, all they will have left are smoking rooms.

What fuckin planet are you traveling to? I can't even remember the last hotel I was in that allowed smoking anywhere indoors. Even my company's rental car provider doesn't "allow" (translation: keep it to a few heaters with the windows all down and be sure to vacuum the seats afterwards) smoking in their cars.

[Tom In VA]

Try Firefox instead of I.E. to solve your lock up issue. I.E. 7 can be flaky and has some issues involving cookie/session management.

[BSmack]

Try Firefox instead of I.E. to solve your lock up issue. I.E. 7 can be flaky and has some issues involving cookie/session management.

Oh now you've done it.

<insert KC Scott rant about IT Nazis here>

[ChargerMike]

...what about the she-beast whose wool tent (err) coat hasn't been out of the closet for 13 years and reeks of moth balls, or the dude behind you with a bad case of bronchitis hacking away filling your airspace with an over abundance of disease...


..stellar Scotty..

[KC Scott]

And of course, all they will have left are smoking rooms.

What fuckin planet are you traveling to? I can't even remember the last hotel I was in that allowed smoking anywhere indoors. Even my company's rental car provider doesn't "allow" (translation: keep it to a few heaters with the windows all down and be sure to vacuum the seats afterwards) smoking in their cars.

This is a parody or slight exageration of multiple things that transpire when you travel on Business.

And yes, believe it or not in NC, SC & TN there are still nice hotels/restaurants, etc. that allow smoking - must have something to do with the fact their Ag economies are dependent on Tobacco [/irony]

[KC Scott]

Try Firefox instead of I.E. to solve your lock up issue. I.E. 7 can be flaky and has some issues involving cookie/session management.

Actually not too many problems with my I.E. - had firefox on the old box and liked it, but there are certain sites and stuff I seem to remember that were I.E only.

As mentioned above, this was a parody of all bad things business travel.
I actually could have done another 1,200 words easy on all the shit that's gone wrong at hotels.

They seem to have done some weird shit with the editing - like eliminating words like "the" "of" and a few others.
I'll assume there is some sort of space limitation I missed.

BTW - To all who liked it - Thanks.

[OCmike]

And of course, all they will have left are smoking rooms.

What fuckin planet are you traveling to? I can't even remember the last hotel I was in that allowed smoking anywhere indoors. Even my company's rental car provider doesn't "allow" (translation: keep it to a few heaters with the windows all down and be sure to vacuum the seats afterwards) smoking in their cars.

Clearly you haven't been to TX in awhile...or ever. Virtually all restaurants still have smoking sections (including small diners like IHOP and Denny's-type places, and hotels have smoking/non-smoking rooms.

[KC Scott]

And of course, all they will have left are smoking rooms.

What fuckin planet are you traveling to? I can't even remember the last hotel I was in that allowed smoking anywhere indoors. Even my company's rental car provider doesn't "allow" (translation: keep it to a few heaters with the windows all down and be sure to vacuum the seats afterwards) smoking in their cars.

Clearly you haven't been to TX in awhile...or ever. Virtually all restaurants still have smoking sections (including small diners like IHOP and Denny's-type places, and hotels have smoking/non-smoking rooms.

Word.

I used to have to go to Tyler and the shitty Holiday Inn was "Smoke if ya got 'em"
The freaking bar and restaurant looked like a scene from Cheech and chong

[Sol]

Nice article, Scott. Total crackup. Reminded me of a few years back when I worked for a large corp. and traveled extensively. Rarely to anywhere interesting or fun. Always domestic, usually remote. Anyway, your last paragraph reminded me of one trip where I was up early before meetings, attempting to hook up the laptop to a somewhat archaic hotel Internet service to download email, do a little last minute research, etc. I configured in the "9" to get a line and the "1" for long distance and figured I was on my way. Somehow though, managed to enter an extra "1" in there for "911" ... dialed that a couple of times, didn't realize it, nothing happened on my end, couldn't connect, gave up, and jumped in the shower. Apparently the hotel switchboard gets a little nervous at three consecutive 911 calls, so they call and I don't answer and they figure I am dying, so they send an emergency response team to the room, knock frantically, no answer, break in the door which was latched from inside, and bust in the shower. Much to my shock & embarrassment. Um....what the Hell?!

Of course, it's not enough to just try to explain the mistake, eyes full of soap by now, sporting the birthday suit, hiding behind one tiny hotel-sized towel. They were dead set on a full interview process, sign a bunch of papers, my profuse apology, the works. I feel for you having to travel like that. I don't miss it.