LISTEN UP DINGLEDICKS

[Petrus]

GOOD DAY

I AM COMMISIONED TO B EAT ASSES AND THAT IS WHAT I DO. BUT TODAY PEOPLES I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT BUSNESS PROPOSAL BROUGHT FORTH BY MY BROTHER FROM NAMIBIA HOMELAND. THIS IS VERY RICH OPPORTUNITYS TO BE HAPPY PROSPEROUS AND MAKE GREAT FORTUNES

HE NEED HELP FROM YOU. WHAT YOU NEEDS TO DO IS VERY SIMPLE. MY BROTHER HAS INVESTMENT SUM OF $22 US MILLION DOLLARS. THIS REPRESENTS COMMISSIONS EARNED WITH COLLEAGUES AS RESULT OF LARGE BUSINESS DEALS. THE FUNDS DUE TO MILITARY DICTATORIAL GOVERNMENT CANNOT BE REMITTED OUTSIDE NAMIBIA IT IS HARSH FOREIGN TRANSFER POLICIES. YOU NEED TO ACT AS CONDUIT FOR THIS SUM OF VERY LARGE MONIES.

FOR US TO PROCEED WITH TRANSACTION YOU ARE TO SEND ME THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS TO ENABLE ME TO PUT UP APPLICATION FOR CLAIMS OF THE FUNDS BEFORE THE RELEVANT GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS:

(1) Your full name and address

(2) Your company name and address

(3) Your mobile, telephone and fax numbers

UPON RECEIPT OF ABOVE DATA MY BROTER HAS PROCESS AND OBTAIN AL RELEVANT FUNDS TRANSFER APPROVALS WITHIN 10 DAYS AND APPROVED FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNT. HE URGE YOU TO GIVE THIS MATTER THE IMMEDIATE ATTENTION IT RICHLY DESERVES IF YOU WISH PROPSEROUS AND MANY HAPPY SMILES ON YOUR FACES

[PSUFAN]

For this, we PAID for you to learn your letters and cyphering? COME to the Point, Petrus. Your circulatory system will be my goDdamn dental floss.

[Petrus]

WHEN YOU LIFT DRINK TO MOUTH, I MAKE PAIN FOR YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE SEX INTERCOURSE, I MAKE PAIN FOR YOU. WHEN YOU KNEEL AT FOOT OF YOUR GOD, I MAKE UNBEARABLE PAIN FOR YOU.

[PSUFAN]

Your HEAD looks like a Thousand-Year Egg.

[Jay in Phoenix]

GODDAMNIT Petrus, you are NOT going to try to pull off a NambiaScam on THIS board! The exquisite agony you and your fellow fluffers are going to experience will only pale in contrast to the rivers of blood that will flow from your mutilated corpses!

YOU had your chance here. We gave you the course to take, and you give us this blatant disrespect. Well no more LIMPDONK! NO MORE! You are going to wear those fucking puka shells like a crown of fucking thorns as you are crucified upside down on a cross of Slim and Dice's bones!

Fuck YOU Petrus! You and the Crew fuck right the fuck off!