are they going to hand out tampons too?

peter dragon · Post by **peter dragon** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:51 am

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdo ... =nfl,91291" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Fans are asked to treat Chiefs games like bowling matches

By MJD

See all those fans in that picture? They are dirty, filthy people who are running afoul of Arrowhead Stadium law and should be ejected and beaten with a railroad spike.

The Kansas City Chiefs have a "Fan Code of Conduct," which is essentially a list of rules that fans have to follow when they're attending a game at Arrowhead. In theory, it's not a bad idea, as you'd like your stadium to provide a friendly atmosphere for families and people who aren't drunken hooligans.

In practice, though, it might not be such a great idea, especially if the person responsible for coming up with the rules is an 85-year-old woman who teaches the 2nd grade and regards standing up as one of the evil things that young whippersnappers often do. Seriously, standing erect is the No. 2 item on the list of things that are prohibited:

• Standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans

Not only that, Pro Football Talk points out how seated fans can anonymously tattle on their upright counterparts:

The Chiefs also have set up a text-messaging system that allows fans who might be offended by behaviors like standing to report the situation to the powers-that-be.

Awesome. I hear they're even taking the extra step and including bed pans with every seat, so no one has to get up to use the bathroom. They're going to make the beer and peanut vendors crawl through the stadium on all fours. Also, as soon as you get to your seat and sit down, an usher's going to come by and inject you with a temporary paralytic.

Maybe I'm overreacting. The anti-standing policy might only be temporary. Maybe they'll lift the ban when the Chiefs can field an offense that might actually score a touchdown every now and then and might give fans a reason to stand. Maybe this is only the policy until Brodie Croyle improved or is replaced.

Still, it seems like an asinine, joyless, and dangerous policy. If standing is banned, we can't be far away from banning yelling, too, can we? I'm all for a friendly fan experience, but I'd also rather not turn Arrowhead into the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

Gracias, KC Chiefs Football

Related: Brodie Croyle, Kansas City Chiefs

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:15 am

Sounds like a policy authored by a bunch of FAT fucking RETARDS. :shocker:

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:48 am

This rule is asinine and unenforceable

Standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans.

Whoever wrote/approved that should be fired on the spot.

That said, the article goes over the top. Every other line in that "Fan code of conduct" is reasonable. Well, except that one about "no intoxication". Good luck enforcing that as well.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:47 am

CHIEFS FAN CODE OF CONDUCT

Family-friendly atmosphere is goal #1
Always treat opposing fans courteously
Gonads strictly prohibited
Getting up to stand erect allowed only at potty time
Obese fans, field-level seating only
Tampons for sale in Concourse C
Swallow management jizz-wad with gladness of heart

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:37 pm

The bedpan idea could be quite convenient at times.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:36 pm

poptart wrote:CHIEFS FAN CODE OF CONDUCT

Family-friendly atmosphere is goal #1
Always treat opposing fans courteously
Gonads strictly prohibited
Getting up to stand erect allowed only at potty time
Obese fans, field-level seating only
Tampons for sale in Concourse C
Swallow management jizz-wad with gladness of heart

+1 for tart.

Even KC fan is disgusted by KC fan.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:42 pm

T.R.O.T.S. this shit thread pronto.

ChiefFan thinks that "Code of Conduct" is fucking retarded. This is such a non-issue it's funny.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:19 pm

When I go to football games, pretty much every able-bodied person is standing the entire time. Fairly standard at Seachickens games, a universal rule at Ducks games.

It's considered an annoyance and unacceptable when Chefsfan does it?

Classic.

At least I'm not KC.

Aaron in Tucson · Post by **Aaron in Tucson** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:45 pm

Bucmonkey wrote:The bedpan idea could be quite convenient at times.

The bedpan idea could save the lives of opposing fans in Oakland.

Oh, and rack Pops!

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:46 pm

Seriously, are some of you tools really THAT fucking stupid?

The intent of the rule is meant for the drunken fucksticks (and you know who you are) that stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does and generally makes a complete ass out of him/herself to the point where it interferes with the enjoyment of the game by the surrounding fans. It WAS NOT a rule meant to tell every fan that they had to keep their asses glued to their seats for the entire game.

Hell, at least here we KNOW when to stand up and cheer....in shitholes like St. Louis and Houston they have to be TOLD when to do so. :doh:

peter dragon · Post by **peter dragon** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:29 am

paul wrote:

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:35 am

I love standing in the stands, but not if everyone else is sitting down. It's usually just a drunk, obnoxious fan standing alone that I'm sure KC Chief fan is talking about. Or in the case of San Diego, it's a "fan" from out of town who either put down 2 or 3 hundred for each of his tix or was comped them from a client who is lost and late for the game blocking the isle looking for his seat. I guess he's contributing to the local economy so not going to complain, but I really have no tolerance for most football fans these days. I'd rather stay home and watch on tv than put up with the idiots in society these days.

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:53 am

R-Jack wrote:
trev wrote:Or in the case of San Diego, it's a "fan" from out of town
I don't know if you can say why Doltfan is the gayest fucking fanbase out there any better.

Spoken like a bitter, quiche eating SF or Oaktown losing fan. Enjoy your upcoming season, friend.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:49 pm

RevLimiter wrote:Seriously, are some of you tools really THAT fucking stupid?

The intent of the rule is meant for the drunken fucksticks (and you know who you are) that stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does and generally makes a complete ass out of him/herself to the point where it interferes with the enjoyment of the game by the surrounding fans. It WAS NOT a rule meant to tell every fan that they had to keep their asses glued to their seats for the entire game.

Hell, at least here we KNOW when to stand up and cheer....

And that’s why they decided to institute that rule? Seriously, are you really THAT fucking stupid?

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:38 pm

My point was there are non fans that come in late and can't find their seat. Arriving late to an NFL game tells me your heart really isn't that into it. In a stadium of 65,000 which is usually full you are bound to have diversity and sucky fans. San Diego is different in that we do have a lot of visitors compared to other cities. So what? People in general everywhere have become completely rude and selfish so an NFL game with its intesity and amount of alcohol drinking is only going to be worse. I just choose not to be around it much anymore.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:09 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
RevLimiter wrote:Seriously, are some of you tools really THAT fucking stupid?

The intent of the rule is meant for the drunken fucksticks (and you know who you are) that stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does and generally makes a complete ass out of him/herself to the point where it interferes with the enjoyment of the game by the surrounding fans. It WAS NOT a rule meant to tell every fan that they had to keep their asses glued to their seats for the entire game.

Hell, at least here we KNOW when to stand up and cheer....
And that’s why they decided to institute that rule? Seriously, are you really THAT fucking stupid?

No, I'm really THAT fucking smart. And feel perfectly free to stop your incessant ankle-biting any day now. It's fucking TIRED, Goobs. If you don't have anything to offer to the topic at hand, DO NOT hit the submit tab.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:36 pm

RevLimiter wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
RevLimiter wrote:Seriously, are some of you tools really THAT fucking stupid?

The intent of the rule is meant for the drunken fucksticks (and you know who you are) that stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does and generally makes a complete ass out of him/herself to the point where it interferes with the enjoyment of the game by the surrounding fans. It WAS NOT a rule meant to tell every fan that they had to keep their asses glued to their seats for the entire game.

Hell, at least here we KNOW when to stand up and cheer....
And that’s why they decided to institute that rule? Seriously, are you really THAT fucking stupid?
No, I'm really THAT fucking smart. And feel perfectly free to stop your incessant ankle-biting any day now. It's fucking TIRED, Goobs. If you don't have anything to offer to the topic at hand, DO NOT hit the submit tab.

Look at your fucking post, tubby. You talk about your own fellow-fans who “stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does”, then claim that y’all know when to stand up and cheer. Brilliant.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:05 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Look at your fucking post, tubby. You talk about your own fellow-fans who “stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does”, then claim that y’all know when to stand up and cheer. Brilliant.

No shit.

Paul would make a good Willy Taft with both sides of his mouth falppin'.

Chalk another one up in the "Makes No Sense" column for the KC contingent.

Oh yeah, what was that comment about Houston not knowing know when to stand or sit? Other than parts of last year, we've never been given the opportunity to stand and cheer. We're learning, alright!

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:05 pm

Yeah, KC Chiefs fans are so dumb, they have to tell 'em when they've...

made a first down.
scored a TD.
kicked a PAT or FG.
forced a turnover (yeah right, like that ever happens).
reached halftime and can go take a piss.
lost the game and it's now time to go home to the trailer park and pass out.

I'm sure I've missed some things. Feel free to add to the list.

velocet · Post by **velocet** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:36 am

RevLimiter wrote:And feel perfectly free to stop your incessant ankle-biting any day now. It's fucking TIRED, Goobs.

Then, figuratively speaking, beat his ass. Make him hesitant to initiate conflict in the future. And don't go to the "I don't care" card because you just said the ankle-biting is "TIRED."

One obstacle to better smack in your posting is your obvious easygoing nature. You need to lose that a little.

...You gotta take ALL your emotions, all your anger, all your love, all your hate and push it WAY down here and then let it EXPLODE!

Rumps,

A few of us from way back have been known to vouch for KC Paul in the context of nuts and bolts football forum posting over three boards. For the better part of a decade. Yeah he's had some spectacularly bad moments. There are those who would claim that his whole posting career is one big smear of a spectacularly bad moment. Whatever. KC Paul is basically good people.

velocet

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:56 am

l. to r. velocent, rumps, kcpaul

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:04 am

RumpleForeskin wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Look at your fucking post, tubby. You talk about your own fellow-fans who “stand up for the ENTIRE game when nobody else does”, then claim that y’all know when to stand up and cheer. Brilliant.
No shit.

WOW....the sheer stupidity up in here knows NO boundaries.

Goobs, there are drunken idiots all ALL NFL stadiums that stand the whole game and make complete asses out of themselves, thereby offending most of the people around them that are there to actuallly watch and enjoy the game. Rumps, do YOU understand this? I really hope so, because I'm not going to break out the flow charts and overhead projector just to learn you tards.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:14 am

Yes there are drunk standing idi0ts at all NFL stadiums, Paul.
And at all venues not advertised in 'Out' magazine, said a'hole fan ends up leaving the ballyard with his grille realigned.

Or at the very least the 'good guy' fans stand up and PUBLICLY motion for an usher to get security to deal with the festering a'hole.

Only at Narrowhead Gaydium is the super-secret tattle-tale text message policy in effect.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:39 am

poptart wrote:Only at Narrowhead Gaydium is the super-secret tattle-tale text message policy in effect.

Preaching to the choir here, Pops- I think the "super-secret tattle-tale text message policy" is fag too, but I just don't see too many folks actually using it at our crib. Trust me on this one. We can police our own if need be without the "help" of Fan Assistance in most situations.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:57 pm

RevLimiter wrote:Preaching to the choir here, Pops- I think the "super-secret tattle-tale text message policy" is fag too, but I just don't see too many folks actually using it at our crib. Trust me on this one. We can police our own if need be without the "help" of Fan Assistance in most situations.

Paulie's right. There won't be many tattletales. Seriously, how many citizens of IKYABWAI City even have text messaging enabled on their mobile phones? Or even have mobile phones?

Wags, I said mobile PHONES, not mobile HOMES.

trev · Post by **trev** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:27 pm

R-Jack wrote:
trev wrote:My point was there are non fans that come in late and can't find their seat. Arriving late to an NFL game tells me your heart really isn't that into it. In a stadium of 65,000 which is usually full you are bound to have diversity and sucky fans. San Diego is different in that we do have a lot of visitors compared to other cities. So what? People in general everywhere have become completely rude and selfish so an NFL game with its intesity and amount of alcohol drinking is only going to be worse. I just choose not to be around it much anymore.
Sorry about that. THIS statemnt proves the Dolts have the gayest fucking fanbase in the NFL.

You accuse people coming in late of not having their heart in it, but you won't even show your face because of a couple of drunks.

You are definately entitled to your opinions and options, but don't go around thinking you are living in a good football town you socially stunted twat.

Speaking of gay, don't you sell shoes for a living? That's about the gayest job I can think of for a man.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:01 pm

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/column ... 91532.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Jeffrey Flanagan wrote:There was an amusing item I mentioned in my blog on Monday about the Chiefs’ “Fan Code of Conduct,” which is posted on the team’s Web site. One policy stated that the Arrowhead Stadium staff will proactively intervene with fans who are “standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans.”

No standing at a football game? Ever? Yes, that’s laughable. But as I noted, the vague wording of the code needed to be changed, not the spirit of the code. It’s fine to stand, jump, cheer, do cartwheels or whatever when the action on the field warrants it. Or stand and scream if you’re trying to motivate the team (yes, the Chiefs may need a lot of that).

But don’t be that guy who has to stand all the time just to be a nuisance to the people behind him.

The Chiefs apparently have obliged about the wording of the code, which now reads “continuous standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans.”

By the way, even the Raiders have a fan conduct code. One way to get kicked out of a Raiders game is by “refusal to remove or turn inside-out clothing deemed offensive or obscene upon request by stadium personnel.” Wouldn’t that apply to everyone at a Raiders game?

There ya go.

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:50 pm

Nobody gives a shit about the Kansas City Chiefs....

If it wasn't for the Buffalo Bills, they'd be the least remembered team in the NFL.

Who are the Kansas City Chiefs ?

The country has spoken.... and they could care less about the "Chiefs" and their inbred fans.

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:51 pm

trev wrote: Speaking of gay, don't you sell shoes for a living? That's about the gayest job I can think of for a man.

trev · Post by **trev** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:48 pm

R Jack,

I don't think any man on this board has ever had a gayer job than selling shoes. No need to get mad over something you started. You threw out the gay card. I just pointed out how selling shoes is a pretty darn gay thing for a man to do. Just to update your spreadsheet I do have 2 jobs outside the home now. My boys are older and don't need me to stay home anymore. And I'm quite sure I've got less time on my hands than you with that and serving on a couple sports booster boards. Take this gay non football stuff to another forum, sweetheart. You blasting entire fan bases isn't really smack anyway.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:38 pm

trev wrote:R Jack,

I don't think any man on this board has ever had a gayer job than selling shoes.

Nursing?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:34 pm

wind chime peddler?

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:02 pm

R-Jack wrote:OK read this slowly.

You just said your home stadium is over-run by non-fans who stand up, and it keeps you from going to game.

Can that statement be uttered by the fanbase of any other "football town"?

Green Bay?
NE?
Chicago?
Philly?
Hell, even KC?

Solid team perhaps, but they have the softest group of pussies that need busisnessmen to sit down before they cheer for them.

...you're FOS Jack..not that your butchered, mispelled, drivel makes any sense anyway..BUT..this is why Trev doesn't tailgate with us...those aren't suits you're bumping elbows with in that parking lot brother, that's not fatass KC fan sporting their #58 jersey's dreaming of the good ole days, and that's sure as hell not drooling Donk dork out there...no brau, if you wanna tailgate at Qualcom come and enjoy the festivities....but I quaran-dam-tee you, there won't be any 3 pieces out there.

...

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:26 pm

Is that "Bolt Pride" or "Gay Pride"?

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:08 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Is that "Bolt Pride" or "Gay Pride"?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:52 pm

Jesus fecking christ on a pogo stick. What an embarrasing assortment of clowns you're claiming pride in, CM.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:44 pm

ChargerMike wrote:this is why Trev doesn't tailgate with us...

Come again?

I think we're going to need a more plausible explanation. I mean, those guys are "studs", right?

trev should be drooling.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:46 pm

Clearly, those asshats sell shoes for a living.

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:05 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Jesus fecking christ on a pogo stick. What an embarrasing assortment of clowns you're claiming pride in, CM.

...so, you'd take on our beaner brigade...right mbls?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:55 am

Of course, they prolly can't type for shit.