Three Best Bets for Week Two

[poptart]

New Orleans pk. at Washington
Carolina -3 v. Chicago
New England +1 1/2 at New York Jets

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Can somebody explain to me how the Redskins can suck so badly, year after year? They're like the Notre Dame of pro football.

[KC Scott]

GB -3 @ Det
Buff +5.5 @ Jax
Atl + 7 @ Tampa

[stuckinia]

Can somebody explain to me how the Redskins can suck so badly, year after year? They're like the Notre Dame of pro football.

They have not had an NFL-caliber QB since the 90s, their "GM" is a bug-eyed mongiloid, and their owner is a little twit. This magnificent combo has led to constant upheaval of the coaching staff and no semblance of any plan or system whatsoever.

[orcinus]

Green Bay (-3) at Detroit
Miami at Arizona (-6)
Tennessee at Cincinnati (-1)

Scary thing, as I can argue both sides of the third pick. I think Collins will get an early boost on the road, but I also think Cincy will rebound from the week one disaster.

Miami at Arizona seems to be the safest bet on the board, which means they'll probably win outright.

GB is my least confident game on the board, as I can see the Lions playing significantly better at home ... but I'm liking the Rogers kid in this offense enough to play them on the road.

[Diogenes]

Miami at Arizona (-6)

Miami at Arizona seems to be the safest bet on the board, which means they'll probably win outright.

Back away from the crack pipe.

Cardinals by 13.

[BSmack]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

I also like Minnesota getting 2 against Indy at home. If Matt Forte is good for 100 yards against Indy's rushing D, then AP should be good for about 250.

Lastly, Denver getting 1.5 against San Diego AT HOME is a complete fucking joke. Take the Donks and laugh all the way to the bank.

[KC Scott]

GB is my least confident game on the board, as I can see the Lions playing significantly better at home ... but I'm liking the Rogers kid in this offense enough to play them on the road.

I'm thinking GB is going to take a cue from the Falcons and run Ryan Grant down their throats.

Seriously, I watched the Detroit front 7 just get mauled by Atlanta's o-line - wow

[Goober McTuber]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

I also like Minnesota getting 2 against Indy at home. If Matt Forte is good for 100 yards against Indy's rushing D, then AP should be good for about 250.

Lastly, Denver getting 1.5 against San Diego AT HOME is a complete fucking joke. Take the Donks and laugh all the way to the bank.

Agree with all three of these. My card has Denver +3.

[Nacho]

1. Rumps will post something stupid

2. Paul will post something more stupid

3. mvscal will call them fucktards or something like that....


What do I win?

1. GB over Detriot
2. NO over Wash
3. Tenn over Cin

[orcinus]

Miami at Arizona (-6)

Miami at Arizona seems to be the safest bet on the board, which means they'll probably win outright.

Back away from the crack pipe.

Cardinals by 13.

Despite my clumsy wording, we're not in disagreement here.

[Diogenes]

Miami at Arizona (-6)

Miami at Arizona seems to be the safest bet on the board, which means they'll probably win outright.

Back away from the crack pipe.

Cardinals by 13.

Despite my clumsy wording, we're not in disagreement here.

If you're saying you'll take the Cards and give the points, good call.

I can see a couple close games coming up for them. This won't be one of them.

[Cueball]

1. Rumps will post something stupid

2. Paul will C&P something more stupid

3. mvscal will call them fucktards or something like that....


What do I win?

1. GB over Detriot
2. NO over Wash
3. Tenn over Cin

FTFY

[Screw_Michigan]

Can somebody explain to me how the Redskins can suck so badly, year after year? They're like the Notre Dame of pro football.

They have not had an NFL-caliber QB since the 90s, their "GM" is a bug-eyed mongiloid, and their owner is a little twit. This magnificent combo has led to constant upheaval of the coaching staff and no semblance of any plan or system whatsoever.

While comparing any football team of any caliber, including Pop Warner, to Notre Dame is an insult of the highest order (at least the 'Skins earn their postseason appearances, unlike the Irish), this is pret-tay, pret-tay, pret-tay much spot on. But, ultimately, the desire to win is only a facade for Snyder, whose goal as owner of the Skins is to all but mint money at Jack Kent Cooke Stadium. Today, Forbes ranked the Skins as the second most valuable NFL franchise at $1.5 billion, right behind the 'Boys at $1.6 billion, I believe. Snyder didn't reach that level on accident, he has a natural proclivity to profit off service lapses. See: Not financing charter buses to the stadium after the FTA shut down the Metro buses there and jacking up the prices of cash lots across the Beltway, as well as not showing out-of-town scores during games and selling the hand-held Sunday Ticket replay TVs as an alternative and creating high-priced "fast lanes" to enter the stadium as an alternative to staffing more ticket takers at the gates to ease congestion and wait times. Did I even mention how the Skins love to boast "Get on the Season Ticket Waiting List"? Well, that's for you serfs. If you have the beans to join the Tailgate Club at $2,500 a pop or sign a 6-yr contract for Club, Lodge, or Dream seats, you can have season tickets whenever you choose!

Just wait until the double-secret plans for the new stadium are leaked to the public. The shit will hit the fan here. Great times in PG County, the nation's finest county!

[Screw_Michigan]

I guess they'll do whatever the fuck they feel like doing to the Lions. Don't forget Detroit also gave up a 62 yard bomb to a rookie QB on his first pass. GB has a considerably more dangerous passing attack than Atlanta.

It should be a prison style salad tossing.

BUT, BUT, BUT Michael Turner's 220 yards rushing was fucking EPIC, regardless of if it was against the Lions!!!!

Sincerely,

MVShitstainedDumbfuck

[Qbert]

1. Rumps will post something stupid

2. Paul will post something more stupid

3. mvscal will call them fucktards or something like that....


What do I win?

you are far too faggyandgay to understand what it is....so, duck another Hurricane and be safe.

stand TALL PB

[BSmack]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

I also like Minnesota getting 2 against Indy at home. If Matt Forte is good for 100 yards against Indy's rushing D, then AP should be good for about 250.

Lastly, Denver getting 1.5 against San Diego AT HOME is a complete fucking joke. Take the Donks and laugh all the way to the bank.

Agree with all three of these. My card has Denver +3.

Holy crap? Is your bookie huffing paint?

[Goober McTuber]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

I also like Minnesota getting 2 against Indy at home. If Matt Forte is good for 100 yards against Indy's rushing D, then AP should be good for about 250.

Lastly, Denver getting 1.5 against San Diego AT HOME is a complete fucking joke. Take the Donks and laugh all the way to the bank.

Agree with all three of these. My card has Denver +3.

Holy crap? Is your bookie huffing paint?

I was able to parlay it with USC -11 before the Beanie Wells announcement came out.

[Tom In VA]

stuckinia and ScrewMichigan hit the nail on the dead. I slightly disagree and think Snyder would actually be a decent owner if he would just get rid of Vinny and hang out in his booth and watch the damn game like the "fan" he says he is. But getting rid of Vinny is imperative.

Unfortunately Vinny must have pictures of Snyder as "pivot man" or some fucking blackmail ammo on Snyder and that will never happen.

[Shoalzie]

I've got the Packers as my choice in the survivor pool and my 16 point play in the confidence pool...which means the Lions will win today. After how bad they looked last week and for as solid as Rodgers and the Packers were against the Vikings on Monday Night...the Lions win games that seem to go against all football logic and reason.

The game is at home, where they are decent. If they win only 5 games this year like I'm predicting, I think they win 4 of those at home. Today seems to set up for a game that they win and then all the cornbread-eating moron fans over here thinks they're back. I'd almost prefer that they just go 0-16 instead of being a huge tease. Winning today will only make me more frustrated with them because I'll think to myself, well, what the hell went wrong last week that they couldn't win against the sorry ass Falcons?

Honestly, the Packers should skull fuck the Lions today but I think it'll at least be close...Packers 27, Lions 21.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

If I were a betting man, I'd take Buffalo +6

Both teams have great defenses and so-so offenses. The difference is, the Jags O-line is so beat up, I expect Garrard to get harrassed all day long. I think the Bills will win a low scoring game outright. The points are a gift.


If I had to take 3 games (sup subject of this thread)... I would also take Denver +1.5 and Indy -2.

But Buffalo is the only one I'd have money on.... if I were a betting man.

[Shoalzie]

Honestly, the Packers should skull fuck the Lions today but I think it'll at least be close...Packers 27, Lions 21.

Packers 21, Lions 0...I guess this will be a good old fashioned skull fucking. Nobody sucks quite like the Motor City Shitty Kitties.

[Shoalzie]

Lions 25, Packers 24...hmm.


EDIT--Packers 34, Lions 25...all is right with the world again.

[Shoalzie]

Holy balls, this changed fast...Packers 48, Lions 25.

War having the Packers defense on my fantasy team (2 TDs, 3 interceptions, 5 sacks)

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

The Lions go up 25-24 with about 7 mins left in the game...and end up losing 48-25. Only the fucking Detroit Lions can pull that off.

When I saw that the Lions took the lead I literally started laughing out loud, almost diabolically, because I knew they were going to lose the game. It wasn't a matter of if, but how. And I'll be damned - The Lions didn't just meet my expectations, they shattered them. Bwahahahahaha!

[orcinus]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

Oopsie

[Diogenes]

If I were a betting man, I'd take Buffalo +6

Both teams have great defenses and so-so offenses. The difference is, the Jags O-line is so beat up, I expect Garrard to get harrassed all day long. I think the Bills will win a low scoring game outright. The points are a gift.

For the record, I hate you very much.

[Screw_Michigan]

The best bet on the board is the NO-WAS pickem line. Whoever came up with that was just fucking high. Take the Saints and thank me later. Even without Colston, they have plenty of firepower.

Oopsie

More like Zorn accidentally told Campbell to throw...wait for it...DOWNFIELD for a fucking change! Amazing what you can do when you throw downfield instead of this stupid fucking dink-and-dunk bullshit they did all last week and for 50 min today.

Rack the Skins for playing like shit and managing to steal a win from a good Taints team.

[poptart]

I went 1-1 with a push on Carolina v. Chicago.

Scott: 2-1 -good yob
orcenocerous: 2-1 - ditto
Diogenes: 1-0
Bri: 1-2 - saved face by Dungver pulling one out of it's @ss
Goobs: 1-2 - ditto
Nacho: 2-1 - good yob, faggy buttlicker
Shoalz: 1-0
ucant: 1-0, if he was a betting man, 3-0 if not - not too shabby