I'm living in fear for my life

[indyfrisco]

Wrong forum, Netboy Todd.

[H4ever]

How is this THAT hard? You know you were caught throwing away the marinade.....right? So, it stands to reason with workplace gossip a fact of life, it's only a matter of time before Charmaine pops a cap in your ass, but not before she gives you a beatdown in front of all your coworkers, right?

Okee dokie...... Approach Charmiane and tell her about the unfortunate accident where you dropped, spilled, or stepped on the container and had to throw it out. Ask her pretty please with a chitlin on top if you could have another sample because you were SO looking forward to giving it a try. She will be flattered and give you another sample.

Here's the easy part.... Talk all day long to all your coworkers about how you plan to try the sample out. Walk out of work with the sample in your hand for all to see. After you get home (might have tried that to begin with), flush the shit down the sink and take Charmaines' empty container and tell her how much you enjoyed the flavor it gave your dish last night. Further recommend she take any more samples to someone who might be able to help her produce and market it for retail.

If she offers you anymore in the future, tell her you developed an ulcer and are a bland diet per doctor's orders indefinately. Problem solved. Or you could just stick to offing yourself.

[Mikey]

I think I'm just going to delete this steaming pile of crap.

I'll wait for any objections until, oh, 9:00 pm pst.

In the meantime I'm thinking of just automatically shitcanning anything that Toddmoron posts in this forum. Haven't seen anything worth keeping so far.

[Dinsdale]

Mikey, if you put half the thought and creativity into your posts that Little Toddy did, your posts wouldn't get scrolled by nearly as much as they do.


Not only is he more entertaining than you, he also inspired HuskerDude to write something funny and entertaining, as well.


Instead of harping on Todd as a habit, you could look in the mirror, and try to determine when the whole concept of these boards became lost on you.


RACK Todd.

[Ken]

And Charmaine is a 300lb. black woman. I can only imagine what her man looks like.

[Mikey]

Mikey, if you put half the thought and creativity into your posts that Little Toddy did, your posts wouldn't get scrolled by nearly as much as they do.


Not only is he more entertaining than you, he also inspired HuskerDude to write something funny and entertaining, as well.


Instead of harping on Todd as a habit, you could look in the mirror, and try to determine when the whole concept of these boards became lost on you.


RACK Todd.

Well, you may have a point, though "entertaining" and "funny" are definitely in the mind of the beholder.

If Todd's self-indulgent little trips into his own demented little universe are somehow interesting or funny to you then maybe you're the one who should do some self-examination. To me he's a pathetic little prick who's not worth the time it takes to read, the only reasonable response being exactly what mvscal wrote - well IndyFrisco has the right idea too. His bullshit definitely doesn't belong in the cooking forum.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

I didn't know office politics at a glory hole could be so...personal.

[Screw_Michigan]

The wrong Tardd blew his head off in Chicago.

Cops: Chase ends with driver's shotgun suicide
January 27, 2009 6:45 AM | 8 Comments

A high-speed chase that began in south suburban Wilmington ended on a Chicago expressway late last night with the driver crashing and killing himself with a shotgun blast to his head, authorities said.

The episode began as a domestic battery. The man, whose identity was being withheld pending notification of relatives, took his own life on the Stevenson Expressway near the exit ramp to northbound Lake Shore Drive, said Illinois State Police Trooper Mark Hall.
The man, in his 20s, was involved in a dispute with his ex-girlfriend in Wilmington before speeding off in her car, a 2008 Pontiac, just after 10 p.m. Monday night, Hall said.

A Braidwood police car spotted the stolen vehicle and unsuccessfully tried to stop it, Hall said, and a chase began. Wilmington police joined the pursuit until the suspect entered Darien, where Darien police took over. They continued the chase to Interstate Highway 55 at Harlem Avenue, when they broke off.

Illinois State Police didn't join in, Hall said, because "it's our policy not to pursue a vehicle in which the subject was involved in a domestic dispute." Hall said the vehicle was last seen at 11:07 p.m., where the pursuit was concluded.

Seven minutes later, State Police received a report of the accident on the Stevenson. There, troopers found in the car a man dead from what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A shotgun was recovered. Hall said investigators were still trying to determine whether the man shot himself before or after the crash. He said the vehicle was found tipping against a retaining wall.

Hall said the pursuit was mainly along the Stevenson, but earlier may have involved side streets. He wouldn't venture a guess on the speeds in the pursuit, but the distance between Wilmington and where the vehicle ended up is about 65 miles.

Wilmington police have not yet commented on the case.

[indyfrisco]

Todd,

I didn't read the above stupid story as a request for a jerk marinade. I just read it as a stupid story. Had you asked for a recipe, I would have offered one up and ignored the stupid story.

As for a recipe, here's one from Food Network. I have not used it before, but the ingredients here seem to be a standard for what jerk marinade typically tastes like.

Ingredients
3/4 pounds scotch bonnets, remove stem, roughly chopped
1/2 pound thyme, leaves removed
6 ounces freshly ground allspice
1/2 cup minced fresh ginger
1 large onion, rough diced
4 bunches scallions, white and green parts only
6 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup olive oil

Directions
Place all ingredients in food processor except soy sauce and olive oil. After finely minced or pureed, place in mixing bowl and add soy sauce and oil. You may use immediately or can be stored, covered and refrigerated, for up to a week before use.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Todd,

You are a gutless, stinking pussy. You're more than eager on these forums to say what you feel about 300 lb nogs and the like, yet when approached by a real life burnt Rumplewife you're shivering like a T1B weather pussy in 30 degree temps. Pathetic. You're skeered of what you hate. Just sit back, relax, and wait for Charmaine's freshly released from prison baby's daddy to lube the tip of his cock with jerk sauce and split your ass in half with the ferocity of a free falling elevator.

[Van]

shivering like a T1B weather pussy in 30 degree temps

Hey! 30 degrees is cold! It's below freezing! I'm supposed to be shivering!

-My wife

[Dinsdale]

It's especially comforting to know that the praise is from someone who is correct on any and every subject something like 99% of the time.

Ouch.


Mikey, instead of casting derision, you should probably be taking notes.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Just sit back, relax, and wait for Charmaine's freshly released from prison baby's daddy to lube the tip of his cock with jerk sauce and split your ass in half with the ferocity of a free falling elevator.

RACK this shit.


Sin,
Bobby Knight

[Goober McTuber]

It's especially comforting to know that the praise is from someone who is correct on any and every subject something like 99% of the time.

Ouch.


Mikey, instead of casting derision, you should probably be taking notes.

This is kind of like you getting a blow-job from the ugliest, toothless, meth-addicted bar skank you could find. I'm guessing it still felt good.

[PSUFAN]

I am so honestly fucked.

Offer to go 15 rounds with her darkmeat curtain speedbag. She'll gain throaty recompense, you'll be off the hook for the moment, and we win when her man pounds you into braunschweiger.

[Mikey]

It's especially comforting to know that the praise is from someone who is correct on any and every subject something like 99% of the time.

Ouch.


Mikey, instead of casting derision, you should probably be taking notes.

This is kind of like you getting a blow-job from the ugliest, toothless, meth-addicted bar skank you could find. I'm guessing it still felt good.

No doubt. Dins prolly just closes his eyes and imagines he's being RACKed by...uh...Cudes?

[Mikey]

Ingredients

...
3/4 pounds scotch bonnets, remove stem, roughly chopped
....

That shit is gonna burn like hell at both ends of the line.

[Dinsdale]

No doubt. Dins prolly just closes his eyes and imagines he's being RACKed by...uh...Cudes?

Yet another difference between you and I...

See, I know when I just took one to the chin.

You're completely devoid of such an ability... and if you only knew how frequently that happened, you probably would be posting here.

[Mikey]

No doubt. Dins prolly just closes his eyes and imagines he's being RACKed by...uh...Cudes?

Yet another difference between you and I...

See, I know when I just took one to the chin.

You're completely devoid of such an ability... and if you only knew how frequently that happened, you probably would be posting here.

Dammit you're right again. I'm completely devoid of the ability to figure out WTF you just typed.

Drinking at lunchtime today?

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Got to be a typo. No fucking way. That would be completely inedible.

I would guess it should be 3-4 standard size SB peppers, remove stems, chop 'em up.

[Mikey]

I'm thinking you might want to remove the seeds as well.

I once put about half a dozen habaneros in a batch of chili (maybe 6-8 quarts) that I took to a pot luck at work. It was virtually inedible to everybody except me and this 300 lb guy from Arkansas, who exclaimed in his squeeky high voice:

"Dayum Mike, that is some awesome chili!!"

[Mr T]

And Charmaine is a 300lb. black woman. I can only imagine what her man looks like.

i got to agree.

If she is a 300lb black woman, then more than likely she is with a skinny mother fucker.

Considering you probably live in a city, this guy more than likely has a gun but has no idea how to properly use it. The best case scenario with inner-city retards is to be the guy they are wanting to shoot because 9 times out of 10 they will hit bystanders or themselves.



If dude is a hunter and you accepted then threw out his marinade, you might as well have just walked up rick james slapped him and called him a jungle bunny.

[Mr T]

I'm just avoiding Charmaine as if she had ebola. Fucking afraid to even look her in the eye over this.

You smell something, Rabbit? *sniff sniff* ... Fear.

Anyway, that is the worse way to deal with a black woman. The best way is to always be around her like a lion cub and just agree with whatever she says. Always compliment her hair and/or nails and you are money

The way your are going about it, she will see your fear and think you are out to get her. I am guessing you will be her bitch by friday

[Truman]

Ingredients
...4 bunches scallions, white and green parts only

[]Well, that narrows it down.[/]

Sin,

[indyfrisco]

Got to be a typo. No fucking way. That would be completely inedible.

I would guess it should be 3-4 standard size SB peppers, remove stems, chop 'em up.

I think you are correct. I just C&Ped from the food network recipe. Still pretty hot though.

Then again...maybe I "edited" it for Todd's sake. Figures 3-4 lbs of scotch bonnets could be the "trigger" that seems never to be pulled.

[RumpleForeskin]

Todd, as PSU suggested, you should make a desperate attempt at smoozing Charmaine with some suet, suet love. If you need some pointers on how to handle a hog of her girth, give me a buzz.

[Dinsdale]

suet, suet love.

Yeehaw.

[Mikey]

some suet, suet love.

Now I get it.
That was a pun!
:doh:

RACK it.

[H4ever]

She did tell us that her man was down in DC selling Obama garb....I forgot about that.


Actually, Charmaines personality isn't that bad. She's been in some heated roundtable political discussions with myself included over the past six months and she hasn't complained to any upper management yet. However, I somehow come away with the feeling that this wouldn't have been the case if Obama had lost.


SO far, I don't think she knows about the tossed marinade. I have to admit that the person who saw me throw it is one of the more trustworthy people there and I'm allied with him against several people that he has a problem with.


Can't we all just get along?

I still say approach her with my idea...it's the only way.

I don't care how trustworthy the co-worker is. It will eventually get back to her and the results won't be any better 6 months from now. How is avoiding her "like the plague" going to help? I'm sure she wants some feedback from you which is why she gave you a sample. Your opinion is obviously important but you fucked the dog by throwing it away at work and getting caught. Unless the thought of a 300 lb tap dance on your spine courtesy of Mighty Joe Young's sister is appealing....you gotta be proactive and stop ducking her as that will only make her suspicious and lend credibility to the rat co-worker if he tells on you.

You say the guy with the dirt needs your support on other matters? Well, there ya fucking go. Use that as leverage on this guy and assure him that if he tells a soul and it gets back to King Kong...the alliance is over. And whats more, if and when Charmaine confronts you, you will laugh it off and say, "He told me he was going to say that to you, Charmaine." "He said he was going to as a joke after I told him how much I enjoyed the marinade....he must think he's funny!"

Now the heats on him and rest assured....dude is going to get a container of marinade from Charmaine. Poetic Justice for a snitch.

[PSUFAN]

hahaha, yeh - RACK rumps

[Uncle Fester]

I told him, "I swaer to fucking God. If she hears about this, there's going to be trouble between the two of us for the rest of our lives.
What am I to do? I am so honestly fucked.

[smackaholic]

did it ever occur to you to tell her that you tried it, but, it was a little spicey for your taste, so you threw the rest out?