Sucks getting old.

[smackaholic]

Last monday night I did the once a week men's pickup basketball at the jr. high.

I'm kinda out of shape from laying off the bike riding over the winter and hadn't been to b-ball in about a month either.

Anyhoo, I get there and start playing immediately with pretty much zero warm up. Real smart.

About 10 minutes into the first game, I decide I'm gonna steal a pass. I jump with my cat like reflexes, tip the ball and take off for an easy layup. About 2 steps into this i hear a nasty pop in my left calf. Seeing as we were going the short way across the gym, about a 3/4 court, I said fukk it and hobbled the 7 or 8 steps for the easy layup.

[homosmack softball]I've pulled muscles before, [/homosmack softball] but never actually heard one go "pop". At first I figured a tendon or ligament let go, but, it was no where near the knee. It was about half way down the rear of my lower leg.

So, I figure, oh well, do the RICE thing, pop motrin like candy for a few days and I'll be back there fukking something else up with a few weeks.

Went to work all week. It was healing nicely, then about friday I decide that some light spinning on the exercise bike will help loosen it up a bit. Seemed to make sense since the more I walked on it, the better it felt. Felt like a million bucks after 20 minutes of light pedaling.

Then, yesterday morning, I look down and the leg below the injury is swollen up like mstool's arsehole. And there's a nice cresent shaped bruise at the bottom of the swelling beneath my ankle. Not a bit of pain, though.

I do a little research on the interweb and find that maybe I might have some clots floating around that might wanna kill my ass, if they get the notion to. So, off to the ER I go about 6 PM last night.

100 dollar mutherfukking co pays!!!!! grrrrr.

After I sit around for an hour or two and watch Kentucky piss away a game to LSU in the waiting room, I am finally seen. The doc says, well, you might have a clot there and since you are lucky enough to be a patient in the best fukking medical system in the universe, you won't have to wait 9 weeks for an ultrasound.

Finding the religion I often misplace during theological discussions here, I thought to myself, "Please, gawd, let the ultra sound tech be a hottie".

A few minutes later, a fourty something rather asexual looking chick with an equally asexual butch fake blonde haircut and thick eastern euro accent walks up to me and says "hi. you are here for zee ultra zound?"

I glance down at her name tag.

Martina. I shit you not.

Yeah. That's me.

So we go down the hall to the ultrasound room.

"You will have to take your pants off. You can cover with this sheet. I vill be baaach."

Can't I just roll my sweats up?

"No, I have to check zee veins in your groin area."

Shweet!

So, marty comes back in a few minutes later and does her thing. Prolly a good thing she wasn't a hottie at this point as it might have gotten a bit embarassing.

The ultrasound showed just a few little clots in small surface veins. Pop aspirin for a week and I should be good as new.

So, now I have the excuse to sit home from work for a few days as burn some sick time.

[Van]

Similar story...

My older brother is a lifelong hoops player. He's always played in leagues and he's always played at least a couple times per week, even into his forties.

Seven or eight years ago he and his wife decided to become foster parents. Their own teenagers weren't enough of a hassle anymore, I guess. Anyway, he took a year or two off from his usual hoops routine.

Didn't take long before he got the urge to play again. He ropes me into joining him in some new league. It's a really informal league and the team he organized is pretty much just a bunch of guys from his work.

Game day arrives and we're doing the warm up thing before the game, stretching and shooting.

The game begins. The first possession, I pass it to him for an elbow jumper. His man lays off him. He hits the jumper. On the second possession he gets the ball at the top of the key. This time his man decides to come out and guard him.

My brother pump fakes, the guy bites, my brother drives around him and my brother goes to his little signature shot, a Tony Parker style floater in the lane...we all hear a snap!, and a scream, and then my brother crumples to the floor.

Ruptered Achilles tendon. Surgery, a cast, the whole nine yards. He's toast, for six months. Over a year later he was still a little gimpy.

Two possessions. That was our grand total of ever playing together on the same team.

Snap! That was not cool.

[smackaholic]

Mine was just a pop, heard and felt by me alone. I hope to hell I never make a snap noise that has others turning their heads. Ouch.

Does your bro have any long lasting effects? Does he still play?

[H4ever]

Mine was just a pop, heard and felt by me alone. I hope to hell I never make a snap noise that has others turning their heads. Ouch.

Does your bro have any long lasting effects? Does he still play?

Those pops are bad deals, too. I pulled/tore a muscle in my quadricep running to first base last summer. Missed two weeks of ball and thought I was better. Played 2 games on a saturday, felt fine, first at bat on sunday I ground one to deep short and try to leg it out....popped again and I was done.

It took 6-8 weeks to heal completely. I recommend you let your calf heal completely or you risk aggravating it over and over and going back to square one. Since flexibility is a major key to any sport.....stretching is of the utmost importance. Especially when we become aging athletes trying to compete with and against 20 somethings!

[Van]

smackie, he doesn't play nearly as much anymore, no. He also doesn't play nearly as aggressively, when he does play. He'd never admit to it but when he plays now he sure looks a little gun shy.

[Trampis]

I look foward to my yearly basketball injury, which has included but not limited to a broken foot and twisted knee. I threw my back out last winter which has me going to a chiro now on a regular basis to fix shit i ignored for the past dozen years.

I pulled a muscle in my calf a couple weeks ago that had me worried of achillees type repurcutions. Thanks for sharing Van. :x

My favorite is the yearly shot to the ribs I take while going up for a rebound. Arms extended above my head to grab the ball and some fat slob cuts into me with a shoulder to the ribcage. Doesnt hurt till the next day then lingers for 3-4 weeks.

Almost forgot about the elbow to the nose which has me seeing stars but luckily has not been broken...yet.

Oh, and the bent back thumb happens on a semiannual basis too. Thats a bitch to get over too.

And all these injuries are done in the name of feeding the competition bug we still feel.

[The Seer]

I was playing in a pick-up game and heard a pop also...was in the chest area.....


Sincerely,





NOT GETTING OLD SUCKS EVEN MORE

[Van]

Y'all are a buncha whiney bitches...

[smackaholic]

I look foward to my yearly basketball injury, which has included but not limited to a broken foot and twisted knee. I threw my back out last winter which has me going to a chiro now on a regular basis to fix shit i ignored for the past dozen years.

the back is one part of me that still seems to be hanging in there pretty well. Ofcourse now that I said that, I've sure I'll blow it out this year.

I pulled a muscle in my calf a couple weeks ago that had me worried of achillees type repurcutions. Thanks for sharing Van. :x

My favorite is the yearly shot to the ribs I take while going up for a rebound. Arms extended above my head to grab the ball and some fat slob cuts into me with a shoulder to the ribcage. Doesnt hurt till the next day then lingers for 3-4 weeks.

Haven't had much trouble in that area, prolly because I'm that fat slob which means I don't spend as much time in that vulnerable position and when I do, I got sufficient padding to blunt the other dude's elbows.

Almost forgot about the elbow to the nose which has me seeing stars but luckily has not been broken...yet.

I once took an elbow to the nose playing with some friends and I swear, I lost atleast 19 gallons of blood through my shnoze.

Oh, and the bent back thumb happens on a semiannual basis too. Thats a bitch to get over too.

when I was a kid, that was the one thing I feared. Usually as a result of being tackled with about 4 other dudes riding me to the ground. It would kill for days.

Now, I just look at my thumbs wrong and they pop out. Dowesn't hurt as bad as when I was a kid, but that's because the joint is so weak now, it just pops out and flops right back in, not unlike TiVO's prostate on a hot date.

And all these injuries are done in the name of feeding the competition bug we still feel.

Amen. That fukking bug is a pesistent hungry bastard, but, I'll consider myself lucky so long as I can still feed it. Gotta really suck being 84 years old standing on the sideline thinking.... I could take that punk, 50 years ago. I don't look forward to that at all.

[smackaholic]

Then again, there are days when I have to see my chiropractor because I farted too hard.


siiiiiigh

that's sig worthy, right there.

thanks, sam

[Laxplayer]

That's why I gave all that shit up. It's so much easier to sit on your ass and do nothing then to get hurt and be forced to sit on your ass and do nothing. All that exercise can hurt a guy.
I get most of the exercise I need playing golf 50 times a year. No cart....walk burn a few calories and that's it for me.

[Derron]

when I have to see my chiropractor because I farted too hard.


]

Yeah..go to the quackopractor so he can make some "adjustments" and fuck you up some more. Come back in a week for another adjustment. Repeat again, again, and again....got good insurance ?

[socal]

One month ago I was riding on my high horse telling all of you how I ran a half-marathon PR. Blah blah blah.

Just one week later I notice this acute soreness in my foot. Turns out I may have a stress fracture. Haven't confirmed it with an x-ray. They say sometimes you cannot see them on an x-ray anyway until after weeks of healing have occurred.

Haven't run since February 8th. Will hope the rest takes care of it.

[Mikey]

Felt a little twinge in the left hip/groin area while working out on the ergometer (rowing machine). Didn't bother me for a few days but then I got this sharp pain that seemed to be coming from the hip joint. Didn't even associate it with the twinge at first because it felt like it was in the joint and I've had some mild arthritis down there before on the other side. Lived with it for a few weeks, with a noticable limp, and then went to see a local orthopedist. He did an x-ray and said that left hip looks better than the right hip.

He gave me some pain killers and said if it doesn't clear up to come back in and he'd give me some "medicine" - meaning cortisone. It didn't go away but I wasn't sure I was ready for the shot, so I went to see the gatekeeper (family practice doc). He immediately said, oh you have hip flexor tendinitits. That's when I remembered the twinge while rowing. I got on a rowers' message board and found out that it's a pretty common rowing (and running) injury.

Now, I had read about tendinitis, mostly in the sports pages, but never experienced it before. You read about these guys who get tendinitis in their elbow or something and they're going to be out 6 to 8 weeks. I always thought...tendinitis, how bad can that be. What a bunch of pussies - pro athletes out 6 to 8 weeks because of some tendon inflammation.

Let me tell you right now, it sucks big time. The doc gave me a scrip for physical therapy, which I decided to hold on to and just wait the 6 weeks or so for it to go away. It didn't go away. The twinge was in April. Swimming laps in the summer seemed to help, but basically I spent about 8 months hobbling around and finally in December I decided to start the PT. Twice a week getting stretched, pulled and generally tortured since then. I always feel better coming out of there but the injury hasn't gotten any better. Did some accupuncture too. I'm about ready to go back to the ortho guy and beg for the cortisone.

Yes, getting old sucks.

[RJ]

It truly amazes me that most folks will go full bore at the gym (whether it may be for weight training, plyometrics, b-ball, cardio endurance, ect.) without spending a measly 15 minutes before doing so to get a good stretch in. For you older folks (38+), jumping in the sauna for at least a few minutes to warm your tendons, muscles, and body up before stretching is a must.


Eliminating a great stretch before any physical activity is simply an act of pure stupidity. Save yourself the pops, tears, pain and downtime, and take care of yourself accordingly. Especially you Jurassic Park cats.


EDIT: If you arent in your 60's, then I dont want to hear any crying about "age" being a constraint-I have 2 uncles (one was a Navy Seal) over 50 who look like they're in thier 30's and play at a high level on the basketball court and routinely school youngins. They have taken care of themselves very, very well (not to mention positively influenced thier kids and wives to do so.). Its the way YOU take care of yourself (Eliminating the sedentary lifestyle) and your eating habits that dictate how your body operates-NOT age.

[Van]

I got on a rowers' message board

Niiiice...

You couldn't paddle to save your mom's diseased mangina.

Fuck you, cuntslap. I have a friend in the U&L...well, okay, he's not a friend, per say, he's a guy who sits on the barstool next to me, most Wednesday nights. Anyway, this guy took me up the Da Nang in his scull, which was designed and built by the U&L Scullery, which happens to be right across the street from where Greg Oden's brother and I scam river rafting hotties...none better than U&L river rafting hotties. Your hotties look like Mickey Rourke.

Where was I? Oh yeah, up the Da Nang, in my best bud's scull...

Go fuck yourself.

Look, SirCan'tFindAClue, I'll have you know that I've forgotten more about rowing up the Da Nang than...wait, hold on, I need to hurl. Yesterday's dinner of ass and shitty non U&L brews is catching up to me. I should tell you about this one brewery I founded back in college....urp.

You were never in college. You've never been in a rowing scull. You couldn't even spell Da Nang, much less find it on a map. You're a fucking imbecile. I hope you hit a log, tip over, get tangled up in some branches and die from a slow, painful inhalation of cow shit infested river water.

STFU, Mvscull. You love black cock. You wish the River Charles was the River Black Cock. You re-named the position of coxswain to blackcockswain and you hired a guy named Mandingo so you could suck his black cock.

So, as I was saying...

You weren't saying anything. You were being a vapid cockdouche. You're so fucking stupid my feet hurt.

You guys...

I'm surrounded by feebs.










...the Sloop

[Mikey]

Nice one Van....

[indyfrisco]

Cortisone shots can be, uh, special. One in my knee almost made me faint a few years ago. But I've had several in my back, they can really help, at least short term.

Cortisone has saved me....for now.

When I was 20 years old (12 years ago), I had back pains so bad that I could not sit down. Could not stand. Only thing that eased my pain ws laying down. Got an MRI and the doc said I have a narrow spinal column and 3 bulged discs in my lower back. The reason for the pain shooting down my leg was that the bulging discs were pressing on my sciatic nerve. They scheduled me for an epidurral.

Well, stupid ass 20 year old me didn't read the "presurgery sheet" they gave me. I go in for the procedure and they ask me if I had eaten anything. Well, sure, I had lunch. Lady looks at me and said that I can't have the procedure and they would have to delay 3 weeks. "NO FUCKING WAY!" I was in too much pain. No way could I wait 3 weeks. She said I could have the procedure, but then I would not get anesthesia. I ponder this. No biggie, I don't need to go to sleep.

Biggest. Fucking. Mistake. Ever!

So I am lying on the operating table in the fetal position while the doc is navigating through my spine trying to avoid severing a nerve so I'm not paralized. I'm crying like a little bitch and there's two orderlies there making faces and playing peek-a-boo with me trying to keep my mind off the torture going on behind me. Once the needle was in place, well, that's when the pain really began. Oh my god. Once she started pumping in the cortisone I thought I was going to die.

Now, I did feel a lot better but it only lasted a couple years. At age 22, I go in again. This time, I'm a little wiser. I don't eat for a whole fucking day before the procedure. I get my anesthesia. I come out great. Awesome. It's been 10 years and aside from a pulled or strained muscle ever so often, I have not had back problems. Back then, I was playing indoor soccer 2-3 nights a week, basketball one night and two nights of softball. Doc said to hang'em up if I don't want the back problems. Still golf 2-3 times per week and I play one night of softball in the summer. That's enough for me. I want to play with my kids when they get older.

[smackaholic]

STFU, Mvscull. You love black cock. You wish the River Charles was the River Black Cock. You re-named the position of coxswain to blackcockswain and you hired a guy named Mandingo so you could suck his black cock.

birdbrain, you see this^^^^? This is black cock smack as it should be. Now step up your game or STFU.

[Van]

:doh:

Shit. :x

You made me go take a Soma and a Loratab just for watching that.

:)

[Moving Sale]

You weren't saying anything. You were being a vapid cockdouche. You're so fucking stupid my feet hurt.

Cockdouche?

[The Seer]

:doh:

Shit. :x

You made me go take a Soma and a Loratab just for watching that.

:)

Try soma with Vicodin...no high better

[socal]

Look, SirCan'tFindAClue, I'll have you know that I've forgotten more about rowing up the Da Nang than...wait, hold on, I need to hurl. Yesterday's dinner of ass and shitty non U&L brews is catching up to me. I should tell you about this one brewery I founded back in college....urp.

You were never in college. You've never been in a rowing scull. You couldn't even spell Da Nang, much less find it on a map. You're a fucking imbecile. I hope you hit a log, tip over, get tangled up in some branches and die from a slow, painful inhalation of cow shit infested river water.

Life is but a dream.

[Van]

I'd rather not imagine, if you don't mind.

[GOSD]

b-ball
Anyhoo
homosmack softball
pop motrin like candy
on the interweb
The doc
gawd
hottie
Shweet!

I could have swore with all these stupid fucking words you used, that you were one of those pop collared 40yr old fags that are stuck working for a rental car agency. Nothing worse than a wannabe aging hipster attempting to use some archaic form of "frat speak" to sound "with it".

[GOSD]

To let you fat fuckers know, I run 5 miles 4 days a week and it doesn't hurt. Go fuck yourselves!

[Dan Vogel]

Nobody is getting any younger. I was feeling a little heavy and had some aches and pains cropping up with simple things like standing up from sitting a long time. Or doing some normal yard work. But I started jogging around my neighborhood in the early morning a few months back. It hurt some in the beginning but now I am starting to feel great. Just do it!

I have a miserable life and wish I were dead!

[PSUFAN]

Say that again without mvscal's beanerbag in your jowls, Dan. We can't fucking understand you.

[GOSD]

I suck more cock as I get older.

Sincerely,
mvscal

[smackaholic]

b-ball
Anyhoo
homosmack softball
pop motrin like candy
on the interweb
The doc
gawd
hottie
Shweet!

I could have swore with all these stupid fucking words you used, that you were one of those pop collared 40yr old fags that are stuck working for a rental car agency. Nothing worse than a wannabe aging hipster attempting to use some archaic form of "frat speak" to sound "with it".

don't forget gubmint.