Calling out The Alliance

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:39 pm

I have contracted out my services to this board to end this "Alliance" once and for all.

Cat Daddy, Sick Fuck, Dan J, etc., show yourselves. This is going to end NOW.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:46 pm

Wow. This is going to be fukkin' epic. Like a board armeggedon or some shit like that.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:59 pm

This isn't going to go well for Stevo. Dan J is a fucking prick on a good day.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:24 pm

If you believe in God, now would be a good time to make good.

Remember, save the last bullet for yourselves.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:26 pm

Jsc810 wrote:

Please don't do anything that will get Petrus hurt.

Pray for him. Quasimodo, too.

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:41 pm

The Crew vs. The Gay Axis of Evil.

Cool.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:00 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:Wow. This is going to be fukkin' epic. Like a board armeggedon or some shit like that.

Don't normally agree with you on anything..but I think this will become legend

Please commence at once...

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:01 pm

THIS SHIT IS FUCKING SERIUOS

STOP FUCKING AROUND LIEK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME

IMSO FUSI FUCKIGN PISSED I NCAN HARDLY FUCKING ABREATHE

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:42 pm

Douchebag wrote:THIS SHIT IS FUCKING SERIUOS

STOP FUCKING AROUND LIEK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME

IMSO FUSI FUCKIGN PISSED I NCAN HARDLY FUCKING ABREATHE

Just put a paper bag over your mouth...breath deeply...then, once you've composed yourself, COMMENCE WITH THE BLOOD-LETTING!

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:20 pm

I hate The Alliance with every inch of my soul. But godDAMNIT do I respect them. Our plan is as ruthless as it is final.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:38 pm

For the record, Rollins is my favorite Douche. Dunno why.

For the record, Part Deux, the Douches need themselves a female crew member. That's a no-brainer. The avatar would be hilarious and the dialogue from a female Douche would be well worth reading. The back and forth dialogue between Female Douche and, say, A-Bomb, that would also be well worth the effort.

The comedic possibilities of (awkwardly) attempting to use Female Douche as a seductress double agent...endless.

Hearing Female Douche ragging on D-Bag about his unfortunate trysts with the Carload Of Mexicans, that'd be worth keeping this place afloat, just by itself.

The time has come. It's time to inject some new blood into the Douches. A Douche Crew meeting, including a pissy, moody, menstruating douch, that'd be a thing of beauty.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:19 pm

Anybody see that dumb reality show on one of the cable networks with the repo dudes? They got a nasty bulldyke messican chick. I could see her rolling with the crew. She should have a skinny blonde halfway decent girlfriend too. Douche and the boys would continually hit on blondie only to suffer the wrath of messican bulldyke.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:56 pm

mvscal, so what? Real or not, they still could use a female, especially since they've seen their membership, what, halved? They're down to just a few Douches. They need reinforcements, and the last thing they need is more of the same old douches.

No, they need to try a new tactic. They need their own Mata Hari Douche.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:27 am

Van wrote:they've seen their membership, what, halved? They're down to just a few Douches. They need reinforcements, and the last thing they need is more of the same old douches.

No, they need to try a new tactic. They need their own Mata Hari Douche.

Yeah, a MILF who could drive one of these...

That'd make her a douche and a half.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:18 pm

Van wrote:menstruating douch

I believe Ana Ng turned down their offer.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:35 pm

Look, all I know is that we're under SEIGE. The Deciders are not sensing the seriousness of the situation, as fucking usual. We admins spared no expense to retain their services, and they came highly recommended with fucking sterling references. All they have done is pump Mic Ultra and chicks poolside. WE'RE supposed to be the ones vacationing and squinting at hotties in thongs and motioning for coladas, dickheads.

What's it going to take to secure this place for you people? I'm seriously considering applying for Crew membership. The fact that they are still operating at all is pretty impressive, after all we've KILLED a number of them. At least they are Dedicated. I'd be staying at home Friday nights, though...none of this "taco dip as lube" bullshit for me.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:39 pm

Jsc810 wrote:

Please don't do anything that will get Petrus hurt.

Don't underestimate Petrus, my man. He played the crew like a fucking double oboe for months. Trust me, when he surfaces from his studies, he'll be making an impact. My only worry is...whose side will he back in all of this? Last I saw he was holding a dog-eared biography of Andrew Carnegie. P is going places.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:31 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Van wrote:menstruating douch
I believe Ana Ng turned down their offer.

Make it a package deal, then. Ana and ST, 'cause you can't tell me that ST wouldn't be a perfect Douche too. If ST gets in, Ana will follow. If Ana gets in, her scent will lure Katy, and now we're getting somewhere.

The Crew is in dire need of a recruitment drive, but unless you're a pop collared homo you'll probably wanna see some sporting 'tang in the club, before you'll consider joining up yourself.

Also, appeal to their patriotism. Their joining would be for The Greater T1B Good. Have Will Smith extend the offer, to the musical accompaniment of Michael Bolton crooning "God Bless America."

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:34 pm

I'm in and all, but, if the crew does decide to take a ride up I-84 on the luckystar bus, they're still gettin' a beatdown. I just won't kill'em, seeing as we're allies.....for now.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:02 pm

All right!!! We're joining The Crew!!

:flyingchestbump:

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:28 pm

Fuck that. Until they recruit some choice females consider me a hold out. With all you unwashed testosterone laden gasbags, wooo, that fucking clubhouse is going to stink something fierce...

Terry in Crapchester · Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:48 pm

Van wrote:the musical accompaniment of Michael Bolton crooning "God Bless America."

I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to that song quite the same way again.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:08 pm

Hmmm....I'm not sure about joining The Crew. I'm a scratch my back, and I'll scratch your back kinda girl. Aside from VD and some 'your mama' jokes, what can these dickbags do for me?

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:41 pm

Plenty, as it turns out, which you'll find out later today...

:)

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:42 pm

Van wrote:Plenty, as it turns out, which you'll find out later today...

:)

I'm moist with anticipation.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:54 pm

...among other things...

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:00 pm

Van wrote:...among other things...

That "other" thing you're referring to usually doesn't hit me until the 27th of each month.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:56 pm

Ahhh, ye of little imagination...

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 2:46 pm

My suggestion for the newest Crew member:

Dan Jones · Post by **Dan Jones** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:57 pm

From Apu: What you fail to grasp is this: you dickheads are another speck of sand on the beach of toxic waste that is the internet. We do not concern ourselves with your existence, but we are well aware of it. And what a fucking worthless one it is. When the dice is rolled and your name is called, we expend our collective RAGE towards you people. Over time we have continued to keep you shitbags on edge, as your own conscience riddles you. We WILL rape this place silly...only by our mercy are you still on the internet. The passion that Jason Moore and Power Surge have demonstrated recently at the mere MENTION of this place is beyond your comprehension
Hate will overcome "good"

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:03 am

This is exactly the type of arrogance that is going to get your shit stomped back up your ass and out your nose. You're going to smell your own feces for weeks, you rotting shitbox.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear for you: THE CREW is not here to do "good." We are here to deliver a service because we need to get PAID. That's the cruel irony of this situation. The dicklicks running this place are so desperate to get rid of you, they've paid US to eradicate your existence. Yet, in turn, we're going to use that money to help finance our operation of beating the FUCK out of all these pathetic shitlings that dangle from the asshairs of the internet. Don't you see? We're not all that different, you and us. You're here to plunger this board, we're here to beat some ass.

But the bottom line is right now we're here to take care of business. And that business is shutting you fucklicks DOWN. And go down you will. All the way to Assfuck Town. Stevo is beefing up his technology to rid the internet of you degenerates for GOOD. But, if we have to we will NOT hesitate to get physical. Our fists are weapons, and are hungry for blood.

MadRussian · Post by **MadRussian** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:07 am

The Alliance will rape the silly faggot pretenders that call themselves The Crew

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:08 am

Word. I've developed an air cannon that loads pinecones, and I'll be sodomizing Cat Daddy with this. I can't wait to watch him bleed out through his shitter while D-Bag and I pass the bugles bag back and forth. We're going to dice you up like pancetta and then go out and find some hot trim to slick down and then lay waste to.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:33 am

PSU, so, what, D-Bag is totally cool with you now, despite your having killed half his crew? You guys are just going to throw down brews together, and that huge boner you each have for the other has simply turned into a warm and fuzzy cuddle?

This sickens me.

Cat Daddy · Post by **Cat Daddy** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:58 am

Rollins wrote: Don't you see? We're not all that different, you and us.

I see exactly what this shit is. You're just like the pussies over in Wright Hall that try to impress the freshman bitches by partying on on the stoop while drinking 40s of Budweiser, and then try to rat us out to the cockpeg at the Computing Center about the shit we did to their computers. You're like the also-rans on mIRC who are still a year behind the flood programs. Then one of these Jim Rome followers gives up and asks YOU losers for help and offer you cash. You pussy sell-outs. You were on there the other night with some disciples of Carthanage weren't you, you fucking pussy? Don't ever pull this shit again over Dan J again you motherfucker you. Dennis knows the whole fucking story and right now he is furiously dispatching Northwest representative Alentado to fuck up your people. Matt is making the Q-Stop run to make sure we have enough Benson & Hedges and Red Bull and Natty Ice to get through the night. We will not fucking SLEEP.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:06 am

CD, of all the much more likely people on this board, how on earth did you pick super-nice-guy TiC for that sig of yours?

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:47 am

Cat Daddy wrote:I see exactly what this shit is. You're just like the pussies over in Wright Hall that try to impress the freshman bitches by partying on on the stoop while drinking 40s of Budweiser, and then try to rat us out to the cockpeg at the Computing Center about the shit we did to their computers. You're like the also-rans on mIRC who are still a year behind the flood programs. Then one of these Jim Rome followers gives up and asks YOU losers for help and offer you cash. You pussy sell-outs. You were on there the other night with some disciples of Carthanage weren't you, you fucking pussy? Don't ever pull this shit again over Dan J again you motherfucker you. Dennis knows the whole fucking story and right now he is furiously dispatching Northwest representative Alentado to fuck up your people. Matt is making the Q-Stop run to make sure we have enough Benson & Hedges and Red Bull and Natty Ice to get through the night. We will not fucking SLEEP.

Keep up the name-dropping, you fucking amateur. It's making my job that much easier. While you're hacking chat clients, I'm fucking building computer programs that could wipe out a geographic area the size of Manhattan. The attack Apu ordered today at precisely 2:31 PM EST was kicked the fuck back by the firewall protection I created and patented. I can do this shit with both hands tied behind my back, and my balls slapping against your mother's fat ass. Tell Ocelot X if he really wants to fuck this place in the ass, he's gonna have to pump his tech savvy full of Viagra.

For now, I'm gonna put the defense on auto-pilot. Tonight I've got a date with a case of Mountain Dew and World of Warcraft. Gargle my balls, dickbreath.

Mr.Death · Post by **Mr.Death** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:30 am

urly r ignofags.

The tru pw3r is ANON.

U WLL FEEL UZ SUUN

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:03 pm

MadRussian wrote:The Alliance will rape the silly faggot pretenders that call themselves The Crew

Your first post here in almost six months and you predictably go to male-on-male rape card. Stick to getting teabagged by Atomic Puke in your free time.

MadRussian · Post by **MadRussian** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:12 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
MadRussian wrote:The Alliance will rape the silly faggot pretenders that call themselves The Crew
Your first post here in almost six months and you predictably go to male-on-male rape card. Stick to getting teabagged by Atomic Puke in your free time.

Leave me out of your homosexual fantasies, spreadsheeting faggot