R-Jack and Ucant present the new terms.

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:27 pm

Are you confident that you two tested these procedures enough before you named them?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:27 pm

You're on a roll.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:38 pm

The SFAF -- You insert your fist into an un-wonting hole while yammering into your male victim's ear, "I'm going to spread your ahole like a lawn chair and watch you turn green."

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:13 pm

The Vogel Song: The man finger paints pretty orchids with the viscera resulting from his wife's anal raping by a truckful of Mexicans.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:19 pm

The 3Mslinger - The act of leaving a post-it on the gaping gash that says "I'd rather fuck a coffee can."

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:21 pm

The LV Stalker: The woman wears a Radio Fan mask and angrily slams her laptop against the headboard while her Lithuanian internet service technician smirks and pees in her ear.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:22 pm

R-Jack wrote:The Rumple Game: auto erotic asphyxiation with no need for the rope.

aka Rumpllingus

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:30 pm

The wolfman- The guy falls asleep while getting a BJ.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:33 pm

The Nick Crisco: The man bores his partner into a deep sleep, then he uses baking grease to affix a yarmulke and a hook nose to him before skull fucking him.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:40 pm

The Katydid: The woman uses her siren's song to lure her victim into her clutches, where she forcibly copulates with them, then eats their head.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:48 pm

The bloody mvscal: The act of strapping on a serrated knife wielding dildo (ala Se7en-style) and fucking your partner to death.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:56 pm

The Whitey Welcome Wagon: The man stuffs his Chase Daniels and Jimmy Johnson action figurines up his ass to hide them when he hears his wife coming up the stairs.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:11 pm

The Wagon Chieftan -- KC fan fellates his Derrick Thomas blow up doll while texting his daughter not to read said text while driving.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:52 pm

The IndySauceToss - Use of a mildly spicy, ketchup based sauce as a lubricant

The BStuck - Making the hooker wear a Jane Fonda mask, then stiffing her on the $20

The Sudden Sham - Failing to achieve erection while exposing yourself to Midwestern Women and saying "SEC girls could get me up" while simultaneously taking pictures of the entire incident

The R-Jackoff - Inviting your buddies on a hiking adventure in the mountains then suggesting mutual self gratification round the campfire when a wild horse runs by

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:20 pm

KC Scott wrote:The IndyCrisco - Use of a mildly spicy, ketchup based sauce as a lubricant

Not cool.

Van wrote:The Nick Crisco: The man bores his partner into a deep sleep, then he uses baking grease to affix a yarmulke and a hook nose to him before skull fucking him.

So, let's go ahead and add...

The KC Scottish: The man uses somebody else's take as the inspiration to toss his own caber.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:29 pm

The Two Hand Van Ham Slam - Penis in place, he participant applauds himself vigorously until climax while thinking how original was for thinking of this

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:33 pm

I'll just let those last two efforts sitting side by side stand as proof that nothing further need be added there.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:39 pm

Sure Van, we'll give you the copywrite on Crisco rhyming with Cisco.

Anything else you'd like credit for?

You may want to snatch up all variations of Gay, Suck, Dick while they're still available

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:45 pm

KC, plagiarism issues aside, my point was these two efforts...

Van wrote:The KC Scottish: The man uses somebody else's take as the inspiration to toss his own caber.

KCScott wrote:The Two Hand Van Ham Slam - Penis in place, he participant applauds himself vigorously until climax while thinking how original was for thinking of this

...sitting side-by-side did you no favors.

Btw, Crisco is meant to rhyme there with Frisco, not Cisco.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:47 pm

KC Scott wrote:The IndySauceToss - Use of a mildly spicy, ketchup based sauce as a lubricant

Sounds like 88's story almost that yielded bad results.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:26 pm

KC Scott wrote:The IndySauceToss - Use of a mildly spicy, ketchup based sauce as a lubricant

That could have gone so differently...

The IndySauce Salad Toss: [Chris Rock]Ever had yo salad tossed? Tossing someone's salad is eatin dey asshole out with jelly or sauce. I prefer the IndySauce.[/Chris Rock]

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:51 pm

The Van Damme - A whole lot of action in the forums, but with very little substance.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:57 pm

Vanus Interruptus - Eager young woman loses interest after hearing male rant on for 30 minutes about who wanted to fuck first

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:17 pm

Coogs, didn't you learn your lesson last night?? There are some things you're just not very good at.

This would be one of those things.

You're better off sticking to scuba sex sympathy smack.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:34 pm

Van wrote:The Katydid: The woman uses her siren's song to lure her victim into her clutches, where she forcibly copulates with them, then eats their head.

RACK this entire thread.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:20 pm

Van wrote:Coogs, didn't you learn your lesson last night??

Listen up. Which reminds me...

The Beantown Bitcher -- You fuck some fat skank whore so ineptly that you go sheepishly go back for seconds at a later date... where you are mocked and ridiculed even further.

**This fat skank whore last fucked by the Beantown Basher, October 15th, 2009. Fucked 7 times in total.**

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:58 am

Vanapedia - never met an edit he didn't like.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:38 am

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
The Beantown Bitcher -- You fuck some fat skank whore so ineptly that you go sheepishly go back for seconds at a later date... where you are mocked and ridiculed even further.

The Kansas City Version of that would be

The Jayhawk LKPicker - You hook up with a UBB Skank, Give Her your Phone number - She Booty Calls you with Other Board trolls Around - You Flame Said Trolls - They Out You - And You disappear forever

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:39 am

The Dangling Toddy (See: Carradine, David)

a variation on the theme

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:45 pm

War Wagon wrote:Vanapedia - never met an edit he didn't like.

Exactly. So, sticking to the thread theme:

The Susan B. Vanthony -- vigorously banging the crap out of your invalid wife/significant other. Just as her bajingo is about to erupt like Mt Vesuvius, you say, "Sorry honey, I gotta go update my Pete Carroll Trojenz blog because I think I misspelled pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:16 pm

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

E-FUKKIN'-LIMINATED

I think.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:25 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:The Susan B. Vanthony -- vigorously banging the crap out of your invalid wife/significant other. Just as her bajingo is about to erupt like Mt Vesuvius, you say, "Sorry honey, I gotta go update my Pete Carroll Trojenz blog because I think I misspelled pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:26 pm

The Tally Passion: adorning yourself with a pink 'stache of blood/semen derived from another frenzied viewing session of The Passion of the Christ

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:37 pm

The 314 Pizza: When lk_skank's gory rugburn and face beatdown injuries get toasty in the sun

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:37 pm

The Katy Climax: While pubes deep in a bitch's throat, as you paint her vocal chords with your load of coagulated man-mist*, you scream PSEU-PSEU-PSEUDIO!!!!!!!!

* Credit to Spray

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:48 pm

Michigan_Screwed: when Screwball milks the gov't teet of an already downtrodden state from 800 miles away.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:24 pm

The Dr. "Dio" Fever -- attacking the male victim from behind wearing only a makeshift straw broom hat and stupid goatee. Instead of insertion, this method of depravity involves writing "libertard" with a huge black Sharpie on the victim's arse. Attacker celebrates post-coital with a weak Cosmo in a big gay glass and smokes a Virginia Slim UltraLite.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:12 pm

iwannatakeitdoggieSTyle2--can only get aroused while fantasizing about heterosexual males he's read on the internet with a foot-long dildo up his ass.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:16 pm

Diogenes - fucking awful at this

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:25 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Diogenes - fucking awful at this

Thanks. I guess it's the lack of the gay gene, I'll leave it to the more qualified. Carry on.