88 Went To Mass Today

[Goober McTuber]

I love my wife. Preggers with twins, she still helps the old man out. :D

I'm not that old, dammit.

[Tom In VA]

I love my wife. Preggers with twins, she still helps the old man out. :D

I'm not that old, dammit.

But your checked bounced, get with the program or you're cut off.

[Goober McTuber]

I love my wife. Preggers with twins, she still helps the old man out. :D

I'm not that old, dammit.

But your checked bounced, get with the program or you're cut off.

Just to be clear, I’ve never paid for sex. I gave her that check so she could buy you a clue.

The check bounced? Well, that explains our current situation.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I had blue balls so bad I could barely walk and launching into a tube sock actually hurt.

diet or genetics ??

(pre-rack to anybody who gets that)

[Tom In VA]

Just to be clear, I’ve never paid for sex.

Naturally, the Goobs is the man in all things IRL and E-Life.

This being your initial response leaves me wondering about the tender state of your ego though. Especially when I was "kidding back" as there's no way you have been with my wife as you had implied. I your ego is repaired to a level necessary for you to function. You're a funny guy and a valuable contributor to the board. I wouldn't want the notion that some folks might think you're lying to get in the way of that.

I don't think you're lying if that makes you feel better, I mean not really.

[Goober McTuber]

Jesus Christ, Tom, the not paying for sex thing was only to set up what the check was really for. And as for that, I was only kidding. Sort of.

And what the fuck does the Indy Racing League have to do with this?

[Tom In VA]

Just razzing you mang.

[Van]

God unfailingly provides, on His time schedule, the best path.

That's a cop-out. By that reasoning, God can never be seen to fail. If he hasn't provided yet, it only means he hasn't gotten around to it. If He let everything go completely to shit, it was simply all part of His plan.

You wife gets shot and killed while picking out kumquats at the market, your dog gets hit by a bus, Kiss has a successful reunion tour, you lose your job, your team has Al Davis conducting another draft, you get AIDs from a blood transfusion and die...no problem. God provided for you. You just never saw any evidence of it. Never fear, though. Somewhere, somehow, his checks will eventually stop bouncing.

Your spelling is slipping, dude.

No, my spelling is fine. That was what's known as a "typo."

Obviously, your getting owned in this thread has you twitching and teetering.

Owned? Really? Link?

Most of us would call it the fear of God, but I've no doubt you'll spin it some other way.

Sounds like maybe you need to start drinking again.

[Van]

God unfailingly provides, on His time schedule, the best path.

That's a cop-out. By that reasoning, God can never be seen to fail. If he hasn't provided yet, it only means he hasn't gotten around to it. If He let everything go completely to shit, it was simply all part of His plan.

You wife gets shot and killed while picking out kumquats at the market, your dog gets hit by a bus, Kiss has a successful reunion tour, you lose your job, your team has Al Davis conducting another draft, you get AIDs from a blood transfusion and die...no problem. God provided for you. You just never saw any evidence of it. Never fear, though. Somewhere, somehow, his checks will eventually stop bouncing.

I understand your take, Van, for sure.

But I'd like to point out that throughout the Bible, many (or most) of those who were the most greatly used and blessed by God faced tremendous hardship ... to physical eyes.

A few examples that stand out, among many.

Paul was greatly afflicted, persecuted and he suffered a whole lot.
Throughout, he was utterly thankful.

In Acts 6 and 7, when Stephen was framed and railroaded to the point where he knew that he would be executed, he testified to Christ.
Then as the mob took up stones to stone him to death, he looked up to the heavens and saw Jesus STANDING (standing ovation) at the right hand of God.
Stephen had the face of an angel and as he was at the point of death, he asked the Lord to please not lay the sin of the mob at their own feet.

The 12 apostles all willingly went to the most horrific deaths imaginable.

Yeah, and those apostles all were supposedly convinced that they'd literally had God in their midst, in the form of Christ.

Two thousand years later, minus any further visitations from On High, that feeling ain't quite so compelling. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that neither you nor 99.9% of Christians would now be willing to offer themselves up to the same fate as the apostles. I'm pretty certain that most Christians are quite content in the knowledge that someone else supposedly did all the heavy lifting for them.

[Goober McTuber]

Most of us would call it the fear of God, but I've no doubt you'll spin it some other way.

Sounds like maybe you need to start drinking again.

Read his late night posts. It's obvious he never quit.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

If God roamed the earth today:

[Mikey]

What REALLY blew me away was the wedding reception of one her cousins at the "Jubilee Hall" or some shit IN the church. Very nice reception room decorated to the hilt, famous catering service with great food and an expensive DJ with an awesome light/effects setup for the music....great. But howsa bout the flippin BAR serving any drink you could imagine over in the corner? There we are drinking, dancing, outside smoking stogies and all the while crucifixes and pictures of Jesus himself adorn the walls of this hall. Mind you, this reception was a hell of a party....right there in the church.

The Knights of Columbus fish fry every Friday night during Lent.

Make a little money for charity.
Drink for 3 or 4 hours with your buds.

[Tom In VA]

Two thousand years later, minus any further visitations from On High, that feeling ain't quite so compelling. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that neither you nor 99.9% of Christians would now be willing to offer themselves up to the same fate as the apostles. I'm pretty certain that most Christians are quite content in the knowledge that someone else supposedly did all the heavy lifting for them.

Your cynicism is the highlight of my day. Ain't got nuthin but love for ya brutha.

The apostles didn't necessarily have much choice, typically they were arrested by a team of soldiers or ancient cops. Same as today's executed, they kind of resigned themselves to the fact there wasn't much they could do.

I disagree with your statement from that aspect. I also disagree with your summary dismissal of a group of folks based solely on you perception of their faith and religion and without really having much experience (that you've divulged anyway) doing the work, making the sacrifices, working in the trenches with the number of Chrisitan fellowships that exist today.

Missions, internal to the states and in foreign countries do often take their lives into their own hands by doing what they do. Exposing themselves to elements and disease, dangerous situations, and of course the rare occurrences of a rival religion or group that perceives them as a threat and "persecutes" them.

Fuck, when atheists such as yourself ride bicycles in a suit and tie - regardless of weather - to proselytize door to door - maybe I'll consider the inner strength and discipline required to be an atheist.

Until then I'll just have to say. Men and women of Faith > Men and women without Faith.

I'm not one yet, but I aspire to be. :D


Humbly,
Tom In VA

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Two thousand years later, minus any further visitations from On High, that feeling ain't quite so compelling. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that neither you nor 99.9% of Christians would now be willing to offer themselves up to the same fate as the apostles. I'm pretty certain that most Christians are quite content in the knowledge that someone else supposedly did all the heavy lifting for them.

The apostles didn't necessarily have much choice, typically they were arrested by a team of soldiers or ancient cops. Same as today's executed, they kind of resigned themselves to the fact there wasn't much they could do.


Missions, internal to the states and in foreign countries do often take their lives into their own hands by doing what they do.

So close to the anniversary of the murders at Waco...this is priceless.

[Van]

Your cynicism is the highlight of my day. Ain't got nuthin but love for ya brutha.

:axe:

The apostles didn't necessarily have much choice, typically they were arrested by a team of soldiers or ancient cops. Same as today's executed, they kind of resigned themselves to the fact there wasn't much they could do.

But see, according to pop they rushed headlong in glee to their date with the pain. I'm saying that these days, very few Christians would willingly allow themselves to be tortured and put to death in exchange for having Buddy Jesus's back.

I disagree with your statement from that aspect. I also disagree with your summary dismissal of a group of folks based solely on you perception of their faith and religion and without really having much experience (that you've divulged anyway) doing the work, making the sacrifices, working in the trenches with the number of Chrisitan fellowships that exist today.

You disagree with what...based on what? Are you saying that you know of buttloads of Thumpers who would willingly allow themselves to be executed rather than renounce Christ? Are you saying that your vast experience of working in the trenches has shown you countless examples of people like that?

If so, Ima havta call bullshit.

Missions, internal to the states and in foreign countries do often take their lives into their own hands by doing what they do.

No, they don't, at least not to the extent that pop describes with the apostles.

pop's whole argument is that the apostles "knew" Christ was God, his 'proof' being that they willingly allowed themselves to die for him.

Missionaries don't go to work each day expecting to die. It may be a byproduct of their circumstances, but it's not what they signed up for, and such a risk is hardly theirs alone. Plenty of non-Thumpers voluntarily engage in the same risky activites abroad.

Exposing themselves to elements and disease, dangerous situations, and of course the rare occurrences of a rival religion or group that perceives them as a threat and "persecutes" them.

Again, missionaries aren't the only ones who do this. The Red Cross does it. Soldiers do it. It's not the same thing as what pop is talking about with the apostles.

Fuck, when atheists such as yourself ride bicycles in a suit and tie - regardless of weather - to proselytize door to door - maybe I'll consider the inner strength and discipline required to be an atheist.

Atheists such as myself? Now I'm an atheist?

First day here on the board for you, or what?

[Tom In VA]

Atheists such as myself? Now I'm an atheist?

First day here on the board for you, or what?

Let's just say I am agnostic about your status. Hahaha

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

Great stuff!

Pop and HBJ especially, but Van and 88 also.

It all pales to one point........

PYTHON posted in this thread!!!!!!!!!!

What would a BBS be without Python?????

I told my kids just 2 weeks ago about the old SCIII, and said "Python would just show up and post some non-sequiter, like this in 2001":

Python - "I have a confession to make."

You open up the thread, and he posted..........

I let the dogs out.

I STILL laugh when I remember reading that!

So, carry on.

[Goober McTuber]

I told my kids just 2 weeks ago about the old SCIII, and said "Python would just show up and post some non-sequiter, like this in 2001":

Python - "I have a confession to make."

I pity your children and their industrial grade embarrassment.

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

Lighten up Francis.

[Goober McTuber]

Lighten up? Like I somehow give two shits about your pathetic opiate-enhanced existence? Log the fuck off, you drug-addled gimp.

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

I sense some .....anger. Why is that, Goober McFrancis?

[Tom In VA]

It was probably a catholic doctor at the very least

A few bad apples spoil the whole barrel.

[Goober McTuber]

I sense some .....anger. Why is that, Goober McFrancis?

I believe you have mistaken disgust for anger, you pathetic feeb.

[Wolfman]

I'm in no hurry to find out. I'll put in a good word for you when I get there.

[Mikey]

The Catholic Church masses I've attended say that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of God. So I picture a big old dude named God sitting in a chair or throne of some type with a younger dude named Jesus on his right, also seated.

You got it at least partly right, but your forgot the third member of the Trinity, the dove thingy.

See, I found a picture.

[Smackie Chan]

I love going to church; every Sunday, I'm there. The only thing I don't like about it is those priests sure do like to talk, don't they? Oh, they love to talk and talk, but they don't like it when you talk in church, do they? Oh no, they don't like that action. Like last Sunday, I'm in church, priest is blabbing away. There's just a little tiny quiet spot in the middle of his sermon, just a little, little tiny quiet spot. I stood up in the middle of the church, and all I said was, 'Hey! I smell ass!'

[smackaholic]

The Catholic Church masses I've attended say that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of God. So I picture a big old dude named God sitting in a chair or throne of some type with a younger dude named Jesus on his right, also seated.

You got it at least partly right, but your forgot the third member of the Trinity, the dove thingy.

See, I found a picture.

I'll tell you one thing. If I go out, nailed to a fukkin' stick, when I get to heaven I sure the fukk ain't gonna drag that same goddamn stick around with me.

WTF is up with that?

I think it's a guilt thing. Jews are good that way. They love playing the guilt trip on people. I can see it now.....

me: So, this is heaven. Nice. Oh, hey Jay, wassup?

jesus: Hi, welcome to heaven. Hey, would you like to check out my cross? You know, that thing you fukks tacked me up on back in the day. Damn, that fukkin' hurt. But, well, you know I had to go through with it. Otherwise pops would bannish all you fukks to cleveland hades. And I hear that place is no picnic. Well, uhhh, your welcome, I guess. Wanna see my scars?

[Mikey]

We all have a cross to bear.

I could picture you sitting there with a ham in one hand and a case of Twinkies in the other.

[smackaholic]

make it a spiral honey baked ham. no twinkies though. twinkies aren't horrible, but, they ain't heaven worthy by a long shot. i would go for a really good slab of carrot cake. you know, the kind that has a specific gravity slightly higher than concrete.

[Goober McTuber]

We all have a cross to bear.

I could picture you sitting there

FTFY

[Tom In VA]

I love going to church; every Sunday, I'm there. The only thing I don't like about it is those priests sure do like to talk, don't they? Oh, they love to talk and talk, but they don't like it when you talk in church, do they? Oh no, they don't like that action. Like last Sunday, I'm in church, priest is blabbing away. There's just a little tiny quiet spot in the middle of his sermon, just a little, little tiny quiet spot. I stood up in the middle of the church, and all I said was, 'Hey! I smell ass!'

True story, apparently my aunt at @7-8 years old said "This guy's full of shit" or something during a quiet spot in the homily. This was circa 1950-51 in Brooklyn, NY - Irish Catholic to the core true and true. You didn't do that then.

[Smackie Chan]

You didn't do that then.

As opposed to now?

[Tom In VA]

If any of you haven't seen the movie "Heaven Help Us", highly recommended.



88, I finally figured you out bro.

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

GREAT MOVIE!!!!

"God, you're fuckin' with me!"

"Who took the screws?"

"To WHOM, Brother. To WHOM, Brother".


All time classic.

[Wolfman]

MrsO and I attend our 7:30 service/mass (Catholic light aka Episcopal). I call it the "wham, bam, thank you God" service as it has no music, allows a lot of quiet introspection and meditation which I find soothing."Old people's express mass" is probably a more polite way of putting it.
BTW--- one former poster whose input in this thread would have been interesting: Mike the Lab Rat. Where the hell is TLR? I hope he is OK. Bri ???

[poptart]

Mike the Lab Rat was run.

Don't step to me.

[Terry in Crapchester]

doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, which holds that Mary was conceived without Original Sin

Just for what it's worth - there is no Scripture to indicate that Mary was conceived without original sin.

Zero.

Not saying you say there is.
I'm just commenting.

True, there is none. For that matter, there is no mention of Mary anywhere in Scripture prior to the time of the Annunciation. That doesn't mean that she didn't exist prior to that time, though.

Which brings us to an interesting point.

Earlier in this thread, you made very clear your opinion of Papal infallibility. You've also made very clear, over the years, your opinion on the "infallibility" of a literal reading of the Bible. Of course, the books in the Bible were written by man, translated (multiple times) by man, and it was man who selected which writings would be included in the Bible, and which writings would be excluded from the Bible.

Against that backdrop, isn't your insistency on the inerrancy of Scripture just a bit hypocritical when juxtaposed against your position on Papal infallibility?

[Mikey]

doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, which holds that Mary was conceived without Original Sin

Just for what it's worth - there is no Scripture to indicate that Mary was conceived without original sin.

Zero.

Not saying you say there is.
I'm just commenting.

True, there is none. For that matter, there is no mention of Mary anywhere in Scripture prior to the time of the Annunciation. That doesn't mean that she didn't exist prior to that time, though.

Which brings us to an interesting point.

Earlier in this thread, you made very clear your opinion of Papal infallibility. You've also made very clear, over the years, your opinion on the "infallibility" of a literal reading of the Bible. Of course, the books in the Bible were written by man, translated (multiple times) by man, and it was man who selected which writings would be included in the Bible, and which writings would be excluded from the Bible.

Against that backdrop, isn't your insistency on the inerrancy of Scripture just a bit hypocritical when juxtaposed against your position on Papal infallibility?

[poptart]

Terry, I don't see papal fallibility and Scriptural infallibility as related at all.


I'll just give you a few "takes" on the infallibility of God's Word.
Be patient and follow along, if you will.

You said this ...

the "infallibility" of a literal reading of the Bible

Much MUCH of the Bible is clearly not meant to be taken literally.
Endless examples.

Psalm 23.

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ..."

When people use the "literal reading of the Bible" phrase they are generally speaking about one's view of how to read Genesis.
Is it literal or not?

I take it as literal, because it is written that way.
It is a straight forward account.

But one does not have to take it that way in order to be a believer in Jesus Christ.


But about the Word ...

In Genesis 1 and 2 we see that God created everything by simply using His Word.

The very first thing satan attacked in order to separate man from God was ... God's Word.

Satan said, "Did God really say??"

Man left God's Word and he surely died.

And what was it that God used to bring man back to Him and give him Life?

His Word.

"And the Word was made flesh." - John 1:14

God's Word is EVERYTHING.


The early Israelites knew that God's Word was everything.

And God Himself wrote the Ten Commandements (His Word) for them.

Then we see this in Jeremiah 31 ...

Jeremiah 31:33
but this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.

God promised that He would eventually put His Word in our inward parts and it would be written in our hearts.

This is Christ, who IS the Word - John 1:1-14.

THIS is infallible and can NEVER be corrupted.



Now you can look for yourself and see how many times Jesus, speaking of the Old Testament said, "Have you not read ... ," or some variation of that.

Clearly, Jesus regarded what was written (by man?) to be God's Word for man.

Has the written Word been corrupted?
I mean, look at all of the translations.
There ARE differences.
There MUST be some "corruption" taking place.

There surely is, I agree.

Which one IS God's TRUE WORD for us?

I favor (not dogmatically, like some) the King James Bible.

But God is SPIRIT and His Word is written in our INWARD part and in our heart.

God has allowed the many different Bible translations to occur and it will NEVER diminish His Word, which reaches to our HEART and our SPIRIT.

It is that which is infallible and can never be corrupted.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

haha, nice