Quiz Time: Celebrity Marathoners

[Wolfman]

Another Boston Marathon is in the books. I can't imagine being able to run 13 mph for two hours or anything close to it. The quiz pits pairs of "celebrities" who have actually been clocked in a marathon race. I was guessing of course and got 50%. Also, if anyone here has actually run a marathon and would like to post their time, inquiring minds would like to know.
Knock yourselves out:

http://www.mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?q=943&p=1

[smackaholic]

most humans could train for years and never be able to break off 1 4:55 mile on flat ground.

rack the shit out of these cardio vascular freak shows.

[indyfrisco]

At least now we know where Petrus has run off to...and glad to see we helped Americanize him with the name change to Ra'Petrus.

[PSUFAN]

I'll be in my first marathon May 2. I'm hoping to finish in under 4 hours...but I haven't been paying much attention to times. My best 10k has been 46 minutes, but after marathon training, I will expect to improve on that quite a bit this fall.

[R-Jack]

That's nice.

In four hours I can drive 26.2 miles, get liqoured up, sober up and drive home. I also would have time in that window to play cards, get into a fight and call someone a faggot.

In that same timeframe, you will put one foot in front of the other hella times, curse your own arrogance and dry yourself out so badly you leave powdered skidmarks in your Jockeys.

I'd say I accomplished more.

[H4ever]

Joints must really take a pounding doing that shit. I say ride a bike, get the cardio, and save the knees. Why do Kenyans dominate marathons? I thought black athletes were better at the sprint events? Or would I be stereotyping? No world class swimmers either due to bone density? less bouyancy or something?

[Diego in Seattle]

Why do Kenyans dominate marathons? I thought black athletes were better at the sprint events?

Blacks are more physically suited for sprinting than whites (having more fast-twitch muscles). What's going on in marathons is influenced more by culture. They're used to walking/running everywhere, so it's more ingrained into their society to go distances on foot.

No world class swimmers either due to bone density? less bouyancy or something?

The lack of blacks in world class swimming is due to socio-economics. How much does it cost to play basketball every day, and how much does it cost to swim every day - much less have decent coaching?

[smackaholic]

Why do Kenyans dominate marathons? I thought black athletes were better at the sprint events?

Blacks are more physically suited for sprinting than whites (having more fast-twitch muscles). What's going on in marathons is influenced more by culture. They're used to walking/running everywhere, so it's more ingrained into their society to go distances on foot.

No world class swimmers either due to bone density? less bouyancy or something?

The lack of blacks in world class swimming is due to socio-economics. How much does it cost to play basketball every day, and how much does it cost to swim every day - much less have decent coaching?

and now for the correct answer.

west africans, the grand daddies of nig.... african americans have that fast twitch muscle thing. they make good 100 meter sprinters, half backs, left fielders and power forwards. east africans can run there mother fukking asses off or stupid distances. that's pretty much it. they don't play football, well maybe a little of the faggity foreign kind or basketball (hakeem alajowon excepted. they've taken up an interest in pirating as of late and were fair at it... til we discovered lately that it's fairly effective (and more than a little fun) to just shoot back and kill them.

as for swimming, i'm afraid i have to go with piS on that one. they may or may not be good at it, but, until large quantities of them become upper middle class or better, we won't really know. my guess is that the w. african variety would do well up to about 200 meters. probably make pretty good butterflyers.

[LTS TRN 2]

The great runners most clearly demonstrate the law of physics bestriding all of sports: The amount of strength required to move a weight increases exponentially to the weight. The elite marathoners weigh in at about 125 lbs. Also, the eye-popping disproportionate number of Kenyan champions at the longer distances is a bit deceptive. In fact these 125 pounders all come from one particular area in the Kenyon hills--about the size of the Oakland hills. It's a tiny area and the competition among this small group is fierce. Two-a-day brutal runs is all it's about, and the washout rate is ninety percent!

[Rack Fu]

Running a 2:05-whatever at Boston is just plain ludicrous. I have nothing but admiration for anyone that can qualify for Boston let alone finish in nearly two hours. I'm racing Ironman Texas 70.3 this weekend and hope to finish the half marathon portion of the race in two hours, granted that's after a 1.2 mile swim and 56 mile bike. At best I could probably run a 1:45 half marathon on fresh legs.

[Rack Fu]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_marathoners

Some celeb times. I think Gordon Ramsay just finished one in about 3:30.

I love this one: Mike Malinin, Goo Goo Dolls, Rock 'n' Roll Marathon 2004 (5:07:53) Mike stopped and briefly played drums with all 26 bands on the course. His best time is actually 3:23:56 posted at the 2000 Chronicle Marathon in San Francisco.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Aren't you supposed to be doing a half-Ironman right now?

[Rack Fu]

Aren't you supposed to be doing a half-Ironman right now? Or have you finished it already? If so, what was your time?

It's tomorrow.

[Rack Fu]

So how was the race?

Swim was a bit choppy. We got beat up by some waves for a good portion of the swim. Would have liked to finish the swim a couple of minutes faster. Came off the bike around 3:30 just like I wanted, which setup nice to finish the 13.1 in about two hours to come in at my goal time of 5:30. The first 28 miles of the bike was into a headwind/crosswind. The second 28 was just a crosswind. I was hoping to average 21 mph on the bike but not much you can do with a headwind.

I was 277th out of 1600+ after the bike. I can't complain about that.

The run was fine for the first 4 miles or so. I was cruising at my 9:00/mile pace and all was good. About mile 3 my body was no longer absorbing any liquid. I went into the race with a bit of a stomach bug from Friday and Saturday. I had no issues on the bike at all. My digestive tract just simply stopped working like it should once I started running. The fluid I was taking in was just sloshing around in my belly until I started throwing it up. Then the dehydration and serious abdominal cramps started. I'd walk a little bit, run a little bit, stop and throw up a little bit. I had to walk the last 5 miles. At about 9.5 miles I threw up about five times in a row and just went and laid in the grass off to the side for a few minutes. If there was an aid tent nearby I would have quit. I got up walked the rest of it. Went to the aid tent and they gave me two IV bags. Felt better. Got some water and I still couldn't hold it down. Packed up all my gear and went to my truck to drive the 70 miles home and the abdominal cramping hit much worse than before. I was in a lot of pain and discomfort. Went back to the aid tent and got another IV. More cramping and more vomiting. They decided to take me to the hospital. I then spent the next 9 hours at the hospital. Got three more IV bags there plus some meds to stop the cramping (no, it wasn't midol) and vomiting.

Kind of bummed since I was having a good race. Stomach cramping and not absorbing fluids obviously isn't conducive to an endurance event. I then completely dehydrated myself by trying to soldier on without fluids. Not sure why my body just stopped absorbing fluids. I really loved 2/3 of the race. :D

[Goober McTuber]

Sounds like a shitload of fun.

[Rack Fu]

I'm doing another Ironman 70.3 in Orlando in three weeks. Hopefully, things go much smoother. It would help if I didn't have a stomach bug going in and I think I grossly miscalculated my caloric/nutritional needs on the bike. I took in way too many calories which probably clogged my GI and caused all the problems on the run.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

What psychological defect are you compensating for?

[Rack Fu]

What psychological defect are you compensating for?

Besides being stubborn and not willing to quit anything whether it kills me or not? Isn't that enough?

[Python]

Just a hint, but if you start throwing up, you should stop doing whatever it is that's making you throw up. I thought everyone knew this.

[Rack Fu]

Just a hint, but if you start throwing up, you should stop doing whatever it is that's making you throw up. I thought everyone knew this.

I'm no pussy!
:D

[Grass Clippings]

I'm no pussy!
:D

Oh, really?

[Python]

Depends.

For sure.

[smackaholic]

nice yob nearly killing yourself, fu.

not sure if i buy the intestinal blockage explanation. can't really imagine how you could eat that much while biking. of course, i've never partaken in such lunacy, so i can't say for sure. if i had to come up with some sort of explanation, it sounds like you managed to get yourself into heat exhaustion somewhere near the end of the ride or early in the run and once that happens, your entire system goes haywire.

a better than 20mph ride after that swim is pretty damn good as far as i'm concerned, especially into a head wind. i know they don't allow drafting for the really competitive iron man dudes. is this so for middle of the pack recreational masochists like yourself? what kinda bike do you ride?

anyway, rack you once again for sidestepping that overhand right chucky D thew at ya.

[Goober McTuber]

Just a hint, but if you start throwing up, you should stop doing whatever it is that's making you throw up. I thought everyone knew this.

I remember back in the 70s bringing a somewhat inebriated bar skank back to my place. We proceeded to get busy up until she puked a bit in my bed. I sent her to the bathroom to finish up/clean up/brush her teeth and changed the sheets on the bed.

We got started up again, and she pukes up a bit more. Again, I sent her to the bathroom to finish up/clean up/brush her teeth and put my third and last set of sheets on the bed.

She finally manages to hold things together until I’m able to bust a nut. Rack that skank for not embracing Python’s point of view. And rack my parents for always giving me bed sheets every Christmas.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

That guy may not have known what was happening, I've seen it several times, and have almost done it myself as well. Things like that can happen when you push yourself harder than you ever have before, and then go even harder.

Yeah, that's inspiring and everything, but I'm not sure it's worth becoming a Google Image punchline.

[Python]

Rack that skank for not embracing Python’s point of view.

It's not the first time that line has been uttered.

[Diego in Seattle]

Depends.

For sure.

Tha't silly.

Sin,
Julie Moss

[R-Jack]

Hey guys, give him a break will ya?

~PSUFAN

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Things like that can happen when you push yourself harder than you ever have before, and then go even harder.

Literally even.

[PSUFAN]

Jesus, that's fucking horrible.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Is his nickname "Brown Lightning"?

:o

[Rack Fu]

nice yob nearly killing yourself, fu.

not sure if i buy the intestinal blockage explanation. can't really imagine how you could eat that much while biking. of course, i've never partaken in such lunacy, so i can't say for sure. if i had to come up with some sort of explanation, it sounds like you managed to get yourself into heat exhaustion somewhere near the end of the ride or early in the run and once that happens, your entire system goes haywire.

a better than 20mph ride after that swim is pretty damn good as far as i'm concerned, especially into a head wind. i know they don't allow drafting for the really competitive iron man dudes. is this so for middle of the pack recreational masochists like yourself? what kinda bike do you ride?

anyway, rack you once again for sidestepping that overhand right chucky D thew at ya.

There is no drafting allowed at all - pros or age groupers. It's a 4 min penalty for the first offense if caught, an additional 8 min. for the second and a DQ for the third. I've never heard of a draft legal triathlon. Drafting with people using aero bars is very risky. I ride a modified Felt B2: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v314/ ... C03187.jpg

I definitely didn't overcook myself on the bike. If anything, I scaled back so that I would be okay for the long run. I have a power meter setup on my bike that gives me an exact reading of how many watts I am outputting at any given second. I know what my threshold power number is and I rode about 75% of that as a pace during this race. I felt good coming off the bike. Shit, I was in 277th place out of 1600 people starting the run.

You're not eating per se. It's all in the form of gels and electrolyte mixes. I took in probably 70 oz. of fluid and over 1200 calories while I was on the bike and that doesn't count all the sea water I probably gulped down on the swim. I maybe should have drank 40 oz and had 750 calories. Your digestive system takes a back seat in the blood flow department to your muscles and respiratory system while in that hyper state of physical activity. A slowed down digestive system obviously means that absorption of whatever you're eating and drinking comes to a crawl. As I continued to push more stuff down my yap, it just started to pile up down there with nowhere to go since the absorption was so slow. I also continued to drink some water on the run course for the first 4 miles. I was bloated and it was all sloshing around in my belly until eventually that stuff had nowhere to go but up, hence all the barfing that occurred on the run. I without a shadow of a doubt went into heat exhaustion soon after because I wasn't able to absorb any liquid because I had basically blocked up my own system.

The stupid thing is that I read countless horror stories of people doing exactly what I did. I normally have an iron stomach and thought I could gobble up and drink what I wanted. The score was definitely Basic Physiology 1 and Rack Fu 0.

I get a rematch in Orlando in 2 1/2 weeks. I hope to tie it up 1-1.

[Trampis]

Wow, nice bike Fu!

Rack you for doing these events. Pretty cool.

[smackaholic]

that's a slick ride you got there fu. i guess the explanation about how your digestive tract gets shut down makes sense. better luck next time i guess.

[Rack Fu]

i guess the explanation about how your digestive tract gets shut down makes sense. better luck next time i guess.

I had to have a nutritionist completely explain it to me. "Don't drink too much" is sort of counterintuitive to everything we hear about "Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate" but the body can only process so much so I guess you have to find that balance. Hopefully, I figure it out soon. I can't handle a repeat of what I went through on Sunday. That was pure misery.

[smackaholic]

sounds like maybe you need to back it down a click or two right after taking on fuel. this would give your digestive system a bigger chunk of your alloted energy resources.

[Python]

Or just don't run until you vomit.

[Screw_Michigan]

Marathoners are the biggest attention whores since Katy discovered the interwebs.

[PSUFAN]

Go Dizzie Gillespie a yak's ballsack, you simpleminded douchepastry.

[Rack Fu]

Or just don't run until you vomit.

In all fairness to running, I puked far more after I was finished... at the finish line, at the med tent, outside the athlete's tent, next to my truck, more at the med tent, in the ambulance and at the hospital.

:D