Q & A session with: Van

[Van]

Van,

Have you ever drank 7-up, sprite, or ginger-ale?

If so, you have drank alcohol.

Oh well. I've also used NyQuil three or four times in my life, and I've definitely been administered to by a morphine drip when I've had kidney stone attacks. A few times per year my migraines become severe enough that I'll take Vicodin, and that contains codeine.

[smackaholic]

Oh well. I've also used NyQuil three or four times in my life, and I've definitely been administered to by a morphine drip when I've had kidney stone attacks. A few times per year my migraines become severe enough that I'll take Vicodin, and that contains codeine.

you hypocritical fukkin' junkie, you.

[Van]

Hey, we all have our crosses to bear.

[Dinsdale]

Hey, we all have our crosstops to bear.

FTFY

[Goober McTuber]

Hey, we all have our crossdressers to bare.

FTFY

Sincerely,

Screwed_InTheAssAgain

[Smackie Chan]

Hey, we all have our asses to bare.

[indyfrisco]

Hey, we all have our panties to wear.

[LTS TRN 2]

Well, I 'm with you on the necessity for proper personal hygiene as well as carefully maintained aesthetics and beauty in one's domicile, etc. But....you were obviously raped as a kid or something by a smelly man, probably for an extended period. With the partial exception of Phil Keaggy, can you name a quality musician who is similarly temperate? Scientologists don't count. :wink:

[Van]

Frank Zappa and Steve Vai, to name two, Nick. Admittedly, I don't know that they never tried anything, but I do know they are/were both vehemently anti-drugs. The level of complex precision they demand from themselves and their bandmates pretty much precludes getting shitfaced and/or wasted.

[Smackie Chan]

Frank Zappa and Steve Vai

According to a bio I read, Zappa smoked a few joints in his early years, but never liked it. He may have drank a little beer, but not to excess. Tobacco and extramarital sex were his vices. Was not aware that Vai abstained.

[smackaholic]

zappa was a notorious chain smoker but, as van said, vehemently anti-drug. can't comment on vai. don't know what he smoked other than the occasional cock.

as for musical precision and heavy drug use being incompatible, i'd have to say that if anything, the opposite way true. the 60s were chock full of amazing musicians who were also more than occasional drug users. not saying that they could perform at the highest level musically while partaking of various substances, but, they sure as hell did shortly before or afterward. zappa and vai were the exception rather than the rule.

take your favorite axeman, SRV. Dude pretty much lived on a diet of coke and crown royal till he sobered up in his last few years. didn't stop him from producing amazing sounds on a strat that mortals shouldn't be able to, sober or wasted.

[Van]

smackie, neither SRV, Hendrix nor any of the wastoids you're referring to from the '60s ever played anything near as complex as some of Zappa's and Vai's compositions. For the most part, the guys you're talking about went off on free-wheeling ad-libs, and being wasted didn't hurt those things too much.

Trying to cleanly execute things as complex as this...



...and this...



...in a live band setting, while wasted? Not going to happen.

[LTS TRN 2]

Yeah, FZ is a pretty good example...but, he's also such an exception that he almost doesn't count. In any event, while he certainly didn't smoke pot, he did discuss his fondness for whiskey in a late interview. As for his early days, like many folks I am pretty sure he had experimented somewhat mightily with LSD, though as with pot he came to ridicule it with extra scorn and derision.

I'd be very surprised if John McLaughlin wasn't on that list, along with Chick and DiMeloa (though these are Scientologists).

However, the issue really isn't music, or the trauma of being abused by a drunken man as a kid, but rather the essential struggle in this world between the forces of Cotton Mather, as it were, those, let's say, of Rabelais. Or as this guy put it...

Come, fill the Cup, and in the Fire of Spring
The Winter Garment of Repentance fling :
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To fly - and Lo! the Bird is on the Wing.

And this delightful Herb whose tender Green
Fledges the River's Lip on which we lean -
Ah, lean upon it lightly! for who knows
From what once lovely Lip it springs unseen!

Then to this earthen Bowl did I adjourn
My Lip the secret Well of Life to learn :
And Lip to Lip it murmur'd - "While you live
Drink! - for once dead you never shall return."

[Van]

Nick, you big hippy.

:)

[smackaholic]

smackie, neither SRV, Hendrix nor any of the wastoids you're referring to from the '60s ever played anything near as complex as some of Zappa's and Vai's compositions. For the most part, the guys you're talking about went off on free-wheeling ad-libs, and being wasted didn't hurt those things too much.

Trying to cleanly execute things as complex as this...



...and this...



...in a live band setting, while wasted? Not going to happen.

van, hendrix probably couldn't pull it off. srv couldn't do it first shot from sheet music like vai prolly could, but, give him a while to work on it and he would nail the black page guitar part and make it sound better than frank. that vai piece, i think he could handle as well. he was that good technically.

[Van]

Todd, go ahead and fuck off. Nick at least brings humor and some bit of erudition to his trolling insults. You're just weakly throwing shit at a wall, hoping for something to stick.

smackie, no, not a chance; SRV wasn't nearly that technically proficient, and he couldn't read music. In order to pull off "The Black Page" you don't just wing it after practicing it a little bit. You're going to need to be able to read, and you're going to have to have a thorough understanding of odd time signatures and bizarre modal playing just to be able to rehearse this thing with the band. That's still not counting the solo - not included here - which is played in a style SRV never even dabbled in.

You want to see what the guitar part truly entails for that piece?

Here ya go...



No, neither Hendrix nor SRV could handle that. Not that they would ever want to, either, but they couldn't manage all that even if they tried.

[PSUFAN]

Hey, we all have our panties to wear.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Hey, we all have our panties to wear.

Excuse me, Mr. Comedian, but I believe the actual quote is:

"I believe we all have of cross-dressers to bear"

[Van]

Something has stuck, Van.

Not at all. Your attempts at biting humor have sucked to high heaven so far. It's like having JTR pull out his haymakers. You're tarding up the thread so much that I just want you to take your ball and go shit in somebody else's sandbox.

Compare your attempts at smacking me with Nick's. See if you can figure out the relative level at which you're operating.

The bottom line is you're not making me laugh or anything. Mostly it's just been a whole lot of this... :? ...as in, "Really? That's what you want to go with? Jesus...."

So what happened afterward when word of this got around?

Not a whole lot. In general I didn't hang out with her stoner friends, and she didn't hang out with my "jock" friends. She ran the same offer by me about a week later, though she was mostly just teasing. We remained friends, but we were never good friends to begin with, so it was no biggie.

Kind of strange how everyone just left you and her alone, isn't it?

Not really, since their ride had showed up. Monica and I lived in the same group of apartments across the street from the school. We didn't need a ride home.

My guess is they all stayed 100 or so yards away, saying "Watch Van puss out with Monica"

As with everything else you've managed here, you got that one wrong too.

Good for you that school was over after that and you moved on to college, because you never would have survived the embarassment of another year in high school with that tale floating around the hallways.

This was junior high, not high school. She was fourteen, going on twenty-five. My older brother was her older sister's dealer.

Yeah, similar things happened a few times during high school too, but nothing that blatant. As I got older, the girls at least became a little slicker and more 'sophisticated' in their efforts to fuck their way into some free drugs.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Hey, we all have our crosses to bear.

We all have a drawer full of Nair.
-Rumple

We all have some dog to prepare.
-pop

We all have some gay to declare.
-Todd

We all have some dong for a stare.
-Irie

No veggies, pass the eclair.
-Paul

You wanna put your cock WHERE?!?
-Mrs Vogel to mvscal

Hey Screw, there's still jizz over there.
-SM's boss

We all have our cookies to clear.
-Cuddles Analytics

[Van]

[mvscal]

For it to happen now, it would mean that I gave up on life.

Having a glass or two of wine with dinner would mean "giving up on life'?!? Get a grip, drama queen. You haven't even experienced life. You do realize that it isn't necessary to get falling down shitfaced when you drink, right?

A good wine with a good meal is one of the highlights of what it means to be a cultured, civilized human being. Don't be afraid to live.

[Smackie Chan]

We all have our losses to share.

- BSmack & R_t_S

[Van]

mvscal, it has nothing to do with any worries about getting shitfaced, and I'm well aware of the exquisite pleasure many people take in pairing a nice wine with a fine meal.

In fact, yep, that's probably where I'd start if I were ever to try. I'd see if I could come to enjoy a nice red with Italian food.

None of that has to do with anything, though. It has to do with what it would represent to me. For me to make that decision, it would mean I've given up.

[R-Jack]

We all got a midget to snare.

-Katy

[Van]

We all got a midget to snare.

-Katy

That one made me chuckle, but it's going to take some doing to equal Mgo's lyrical triplet of...

No veggies, pass the eclair.
-Paul

You wanna put your cock WHERE?!?
-Mrs Vogel to mvscal

Hey Screw, there's still jizz over there.
-SM's boss

That's some poetry I can get into.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Now I've got scabs and they flare.
-Otis

Let's discuss this on air.
-Katy

[Tom In VA]

In fact, yep, that's probably where I'd start if I were ever to try. I'd see if I could come to enjoy a nice red with Italian food.

Mad Dog and cold spaghettio's don't count


But that's a loooooooong way off. Maybe.

[indyfrisco]

I'd like to hang, in thin air.
-Toddowen

I'm part negro, without the hair.
- RtS

SEC balls abound, wish I could share.
- Sudden Sam, Jsc810

Haitians die? I don't care.
- mvscal

Wife is ripe, wanna share?
- Irie

Serving Bud Light? I'm there!
- Wags

Free Rogaine! Free Hair!
- "In" - by Mikey

Wasted jizz? Mops are here.
- Screw_MyAss

[Van]

I'm part negro, without the hair.
- RtS

Haitians die? I don't care.
- mvscal

Bwaaaa!

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

We give boys our tender care.
-Priests

Hush up now and say a prayer.
-Pope

[indyfrisco]

You don't belong, here's health care.
- Pelosi

You earn your pay, you must share.
-Obama

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

UHAUL's packed, let's head somewhere.
-AP

I'll sober up and meet you there.
-Y2K

Bring some razors for your sack hair.
-Kevnic

Damn that's hot, can I get a glare?
-Screw

[PSUFAN]

[Goober McTuber]

Mis-characterizing my posts – not fair.
-Dr JMak

The heads of deck screws must be square.
-Dinsdale

My mother’s cooter was quite fair.
-Tardowen

I happily spent three minutes there.
-Bootie Lover

I love a chick that has a pair.
-Screwball

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I happily spent three minutes there.
-Bootie Lover

I love a chick that has a pair.
-Screwball

The grass was cut, let's beware.
-Rack Fu

My asshole's got some wear & tear.
-Pikkkle

Woooooooo!
-Ric Flair

[Smackie Chan]

Woooooooo!
-Ric Flair

Outstanding.

[indyfrisco]

To reach the light switch, I need a chair.
-TVO

I lure little boys into my lair.
- DiS

Why must this coat overbear?
- Paul

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

The ruling class steals our share
-Martyred

[R-Jack]

Homosmack is banal I declare.
~Kid Nashville

You are all faggots over there.
~Kid Nashville

BTW, got any crank shots to share?
~Kid Nashville