Newbies

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:33 pm

It appears we've had a large influx of "new" posters register recently. Welcome, everyone. Don't be shy, tell us about yourselves. a/s/l, pics of your woman, etc., or if you ARE a chick, put em on the glass.

We are kind and tolerant people. I promise.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:08 pm

They're mostly part of the Smackie_clan and cult of personality... just here for the Chat/Radio would be my guess.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:15 pm

That's what I figured, but it doesn't mean they can't bring their talents to this forum. We could use some new blood errrr welcomed guests.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:46 pm

War Wagon wrote:They're mostly part of the Smackie_clan and cult of personality

I'm trying to get 'em in here, but I think they're skeert.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:48 pm

Over the years I've given this link out to a few select people, as I know S_M has as well. The reaction from these folks is basically, WTF? Although I know some of them are lurkers.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:57 pm

The facts are simple: This is an insult board (most offensive to those many n00bs) that mostly revolves around inside jokes (second most offensive to n00bs), crass humor and old rivalries. I know many people who would rather engage in Twitter flame-fests in under their real names (i.e. complete losers) than post on an "anonymous" bbs. Many people I've referred to here also don't like the borderline NSFW atmosphere that can develop (i.e. 200lio posting crank shots, random bare breasts that may appear un-tagged). The only real n00b over the years who stuck it out and turned into a "valuable" poster was Rumps.

I wrote theoneboard.com in a bar's bathroom stall in Mt. Pleasant, DC last year. I haven't been there in forever, so next time I show up, I'll take a photo if it is still there.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:59 pm

You know what I think I'll do? I think I'll use one of those free business card printing services and just get a ton of them printed with the URL and just leave piles of them at tables of bars I happen to visit.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:10 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
I wrote theoneboard.com in a bar's bathroom stall in Mt. Pleasant, DC last year.

With a mouth full of dick, I'm sure your handwriting wasn't legible enough.
Multi-tasking ain't your thing, Screw.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:12 pm

From what I heard in the CZ the other day, the deciders are not letting noobs in unless somebody vouches for them.

We're turning into the fukking mafia.

How many posts before you can "get made" I wonder.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:13 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:I wrote theoneboard.com in a bar's bathroom stall

So you were in your "office"?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:14 pm

smackaholic wrote:How many posts before you can "get made" I wonder.

If you don't know already, you'll never "get made."

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:18 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:So you were in your "office"?

No. I use the janitor's closet for my office.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:20 pm

Rumps was merely a product of one of the offshoot boards. We've had many of them register over the years. A "true" noob would be more like a poster's friend, such as the Texas fan Van got posting here. Of course, it was only a matter of time until he was run.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:23 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:So you were in your "office"?
No. I use the janitor's closet for my office.

And keep the men's room for your performances.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:24 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:A "true" noob would be more like a poster's friend, such as the Texas fan Van got posting here. Of course, it was only a matter of time until he was run.

Yeah, Van's friend, too. :wink:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:30 pm

I'm talking message boarders dude, not radio groupies.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:35 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'm talking message boarders dude, not radio groupies.

I'm talking message boarders who were runn3d.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:00 am

Smackie Chan wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:A "true" noob would be more like a poster's friend, such as the Texas fan Van got posting here. Of course, it was only a matter of time until he was run.
Yeah, Van's friend, too. :wink:

Fuckin' Wags...

:x

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:02 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:The facts are simple: This is an insult board (most offensive to those many n00bs) that mostly revolves around inside jokes (second most offensive to n00bs), crass humor and old rivalries.

In the old days, maybe. But when there's 27 Obama threads in a 48 hour period, or the constant Yahoo News inspired Bobby42 link of the day, things should be mainstream or "normal" enough to follow along. Which is probably a problem in and of itself.

I'd also guess that Derron's gayness drives people away. I also think the female contingent like trev and...trev...need to show some more skin. Give the people what they want.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:13 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:This is an insult board that mostly revolves around crass humor

So what's not to like?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:42 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:That's what I figured, but it doesn't mean they can't bring their talents to this forum.

Assuming they have any. Let's be real.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:19 am

I'm kinda new here. Been reading a bit before first posting. and I have some questions:

--So how do I go about getting my lawn to grow green?

--Is there a drunken bbqjones-to-english translator?

--was ankomak ever brought up for rape charges?

--has willie mcgee convinced everyone that hostboard is back up and stronger than ever?

--does this place have goose sauce?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:23 am

What is the proper way to dispose of grass clippings? Or mop jizz?

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:36 am

what is a meme?

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:37 am

mee me meme

The Deciders · Post by **The Deciders** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:38 am

Folks, times are changing. Ratings are low. Our classic business model is struggling. We're proud enough logistics people to admit this.

Even though this place is bilking money on its worst day, it's still not doing as well as we'd like. So we propose VIP membership. That's right, we're talking $$$. What we think is that the top 10-15 members should be pay-to-read posters. Gone are the days of the leeches leeching off the leechiest part of this leechfest. It's about time you people gave back. It's about time the smackaholics and bsmacks and derrons and bucmonkeys and pauls and lts trn 2s and moving sales and toddowens and trampis's and mikeys and war wagons and carsons and seers of the world sacrificed their shitty place in this world and gave back to the those who really give.

Time to pay up, fuckholes. Time to MAKE US SOME MONEY.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:44 am

The Deciders wrote: So we propose VIP membership.

Dinsdale wrote:We tried that. The experiment failed

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:51 am

no on ucant = you guys are cliquey fucknuts

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:06 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:no on ucant = you guys are cliquey fucknuts

whatevs. ucant will come up for a vote again soon. he'll get another chance.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:10 am

I sent this link to a friend once. He checked it out for a while and said we are all an insult to humanity.

I've got friends that have lurked here before but they all think it's pretty fucking lame. Fuck 'em.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:11 am

here's the results of the vote that just took place for ucant:

12 votes for NO

3 votes for lovebuzz

3 votes for muses in invisible underwear

2 hairs on Dinsdale's head

1 vote for the experiment has failed

1 ball for enolc

ABSTAINING: Pogue Mahone, any girl married to ElvisMonster

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:19 am

Papa Willie wrote:Bacey needs to post here more. He's my recruit...

Thanks for getting my back, homie. Everybody know shutyomouth and Bace are eternal allies.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:19 am

Has anyone considered actually making this site not look like it was created in 1999? Just checked the Google PageRank on it and we're sitting at an impressive "0".

This site ranks for absolutely no decent search terms, so maybe start optimizing this shit so we can get more traffic. It might encourage the jackoffs just looking to flame, but they'll all leave right away anyways.

Should be pretty easy to rank for phrases like "college football forums" or "sports message boards"......shit like that.

Oh, wait.........we are #1 for "the one board"! Unfortunately nobody seeking this type of forum would type that in and there is no meta description on Google, so it wouldn't be enticing to click on the URL even if they were.

This site is pretty much an epic fail! Rack us!

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:26 am

you're right, thejon. this place sucks. you should go find a better place.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:27 am

Latest vote on ucant:

no... 1
yes.. -12

not your day, homie.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:37 am

Bizzarofelice wrote:you're right, thejon. this place sucks. you should go find a better place.

I did not say that. I said the site is horrible and can't recruit itself.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:40 am

Bizzarofelice wrote:3 votes for lovebuzz

Make it 4. Big fan here.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:41 am

then get out there and do some recruiting, thejon. GPete use to write the addy to these boards on every bathroom stall he christened. that's dedication.

what have you done?

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:55 am

Bizzarofelice wrote:then get out there and do some recruiting, thejon. GPete use to write the addy to these boards on every bathroom stall he christened. that's dedication.

what have you done?

I told you I have sent out the link a few times but none of them cared to post because they thought it was lame.

Maybe i will start bringing a pen with me whenever I take a crap in a public restroom.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:12 am

I bring a spoon with me into the bathroom. sometimes I get all stopped up and need to dig in there and make some space lest my sphincter fissure.