Five Guys

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 4:36 am

FUck.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:50 pm

damn screwy, talk about teeing it up for someone.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:50 pm

Killian wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:None of the Five Guys I've been with in DC have beer.
No one gives a flying fuck about your sex life.

Yeah Screw, he got you there...

Funny story a work buddy told me while he was working in Detroit. A few of the guys from work had tickets for the Tigers and they either coming back or headed to the game. They were standing near the Five Guys and they heard this one chick say "I think I can eat Five Guys tonight". Yeah...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:33 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:
Shoalzie wrote:Not that I'd order beer there but is it common that Five Guy has draft beer? The one in Greektown had Bud Light and Miller Lite on tap in addition to soda.
None of the Five Guys I've been with in DC have beer.
No one gives a flying fuck about your sex life.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:04 pm

Have not had 5 Guys burgers yet, but I can't imagine them being worse than In N Out. Probably the worst burger I've ever had was at In N Out...including McDonalds. I even gave In N Out another chance thinking it may have just been that joint I went to. Nasty again.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:49 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:Probably the worst burger I've ever had was at In N Out...

if you've ever eaten at White Castle (and you find one on every street corner in Indy) you've had the worst burger on the planet....

fucking grotesque

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:59 pm

Felix wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:Probably the worst burger I've ever had was at In N Out...
if you've ever eaten at White Castle (and you find one on every street corner in Indy) you've had the worst burger on the planet....

fucking grotesque

I've never eaten White Castle. Someone told me that unless I was extremely constipated and wanted fire to fly out of my ass, avoid White Castle like the plague. I have. The smell of onions around those places makes me sick, and I like onions. I'm quite sure there are worse burgers than In N Out. I just haven't had one.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 6:06 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:
Felix wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:Probably the worst burger I've ever had was at In N Out...
if you've ever eaten at White Castle (and you find one on every street corner in Indy) you've had the worst burger on the planet....

fucking grotesque
I've never eaten White Castle. Someone told me that unless I was extremely constipated and wanted fire to fly out of my ass, avoid White Castle like the plague. I have. The smell of onions around those places makes me sick, and I like onions. I'm quite sure there are worse burgers than In N Out. I just haven't had one.

Ate some White Castle in St. Louis when moving to New Jersey. White Castle is/was the most disgusting things that could possibly be consumed. I threw out the remaining ones after getting sick to my stomach.

In~n~Out is exponentially better, but they aren't anything special. They used to have bumper stickers that everyone in SoCal used to cut the "B" and "R" off to make it read "It~n~Out (and underneath) URGE. So those were common to see on bumpers as a novelty.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:23 pm

Toddowen wrote:The thing about 5 Guys is that you can make the exact identical burger yourself with ingredients bought at the local supermarket. It'll cost a lot cheaper too.

For better or worse, you can't seem to replicate the burgers you'll get at In-N-Out, Jack In the Box, Tommy's, McD's, BK, Carl's, ect....with the stuff you purchase at Stop & Shop. You can come close, but you can't nail it.

You are correct. I can't quite "nail" a McD's or any other mass produced shitburger at home, thank g0d. Home made burgers made from good fresh ground up cows and freshly chopped up veggies are light years better. Saying that a 5G burger is like a homemade one is a compliment, IMO.

Todd, if you are ever in my neck of the woods, go to Bogner's in vernon and stock up on hamburger. It is fairly priced and sooooooo much better than the chain supermarkets. For a real treat, buy their meatloaf mix. That shit is so good it should be illegal.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:37 pm

Local meat market I shop has fresh (never frozen) ground chuck. That’s all you need to make a decent burger.

Anyone who buys “meatloaf mix” is a Grade A tard.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:48 pm

smackaholic wrote:You are correct. I can't quite "nail" a McD's or any other mass produced shitburger at home, thank g0d. Home made burgers made from good fresh ground up cows and freshly chopped up veggies are light years better. Saying that a 5G burger is like a homemade one is a compliment, IMO.

Yeah, if only I could find some Grade-A "taco meat substitute" at the grocery store, I could nail a chalupa at home. Instead it's nothing but that pesky 100% fresh ground beef.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:51 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:fresh

The F-word of the Cooking Forum.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:01 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Local meat market I shop has fresh (never frozen) ground chuck. That’s all you need to make a decent burger.

Anyone who buys “meatloaf mix” is a Grade A tard.

Generally, I would agree with you. Stuff like that or any other prepared foods are always teh suck. But, this fukkin' place is an exception. The OL brought some of the meatloaf mix home one day and I just rolled my eyes and said why did you buy it? You know it will suck.

It didn't. Not even a little. Somebody there knows their shit. Makes a fine meatloaf as is and makes out of this world burgers.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:10 pm

The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare. Sounds like I need to whip up a PET for the cooking forum tonight...

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:16 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Local meat market I shop has fresh (never frozen) ground chuck. That’s all you need to make a decent burger.

Anyone who buys “meatloaf mix” is a Grade A tard.
Generally, I would agree with you. Stuff like that or any other prepared foods are always teh suck. But, this fukkin' place is an exception. The OL brought some of the meatloaf mix home one day and I just rolled my eyes and said why did you buy it? You know it will suck.

It didn't. Not even a little. Somebody there knows their shit. Makes a fine meatloaf as is and makes out of this world burgers.

What I’m saying is you should be able to do this yourself. You know, 2 parts ground chuck, 1 part ground pork. Does this fantabulous “meatloaf mix” also include spices? Onions? Bread crumbs? Do you ever find spices or onions or bread crumbs lying around the house? If you started making your own meatloaf mix, eventually you should come up with something you’ll like better that the store bought mix, and you won’t be paying $4 per pound for bread crumbs.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:19 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a truly pretentious burger.

FTFY. Not to mention the fact that you just ground up two steaks that would have tasted a hell of a lot better if you'd kept them the fuck away from your meat grinder.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:25 pm

Jesus Christ, if Dinsdale handed you a fresh caught U&L salmon, would you grind it up and make salmon patties?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:26 pm

IndyFrisco wrote: I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare.

I'll tell ya what... I know it's not the most highly recommended method, but I have no problem putting burgers (especially if it's from old frozen beef) on the smoker. Couple of hours at 225-250, and it's some pretty juicy shit, plus has the nice smokey flavor.

I know there's purists that believe "the hotter the better," and I have no problem with that technique, either.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:27 pm

Maybe you take your ground up sirloin-ribeye mixture and make some kickass Hamburger Helper.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:28 pm

Maybe you could take some nice Kobe beef, grind it up, and make some outrageously good tacos.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:36 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare. Sounds like I need to whip up a PET for the cooking forum tonight...

Pretty much says it all...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:50 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare. Sounds like I need to whip up a PET for the cooking forum tonight...

I like the way you think.

Sin,

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:57 pm

AtomicPunk wrote:
Ate some White Castle in St. Louis when moving to New Jersey. White Castle is/was the most disgusting things that could possibly be consumed. I threw out the remaining ones after getting sick to my stomach.

In~n~Out is exponentially better, but they aren't anything special. They used to have bumper stickers that everyone in SoCal used to cut the "B" and "R" off to make it read "It~n~Out (and underneath) URGE. So those were common to see on bumpers as a novelty.

White Castle > Krystals

BTW, In N Out ended up issuing their own bumper stickers that read "I've got the In N Out urge". Gotta RACK their marketing department for that.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:05 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare. Sounds like I need to whip up a PET for the cooking forum tonight...

Nah, spare us. Christ almighty, give me a fucking break.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:40 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:Nah, spare us. Christ almighty, give me a fucking break.

Yeah, heaven forbid anyone should do a thread (with pics, no less) about preparing a gourmet meal... in the cooking forum.

I mean, it's not like a person might possibly learn some new trick they never thought of/heard of.

A week or two ago, I made some beef patties with plenty of spice, including minced garlic (none of that jar shit... I'm not so lazy I can't chop up freaking garlic), and churned out some crazygood homemade buns (again RACKING the bread machine), and cooked that greasy shit up on the old smoker, long and slow (like your mom likes it, Screwey), resulting in a juicy, greasy mess.

Was quite awesome. I'd just HATE to see a pictorial of someone else doing that.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:14 pm

Mikey wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:The only way I make burgers at home anymore...

I'll buy a sirloin and a ribeye about the same size. grind them together and make a kickass burger. I season mine with S&P, jalapeno powder, onion powder. Cook on a charcoal grill until med-rare. Sounds like I need to whip up a PET for the cooking forum tonight...

Pretty much says it all...

Since I'm now being called a personal info whore by Indy, he once said he didn't like rib-eye as he said it had too much marbling (fat). I'm not suppose to remember what people say ---> hence info whore.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:23 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:Nah, spare us. Christ almighty, give me a fucking break.

Yeah, heaven forbid anyone should do a thread (with pics, no less) about preparing a gourmet meal... in the cooking forum.

I mean, it's not like a person might possibly learn some new trick they never thought of/heard of.

A week or two ago, I made some beef patties with plenty of spice, including minced garlic (none of that jar shit... I'm not so lazy I can't chop up freaking garlic), and churned out some crazygood homemade buns (again RACKING the bread machine), and cooked that greasy shit up on the old smoker, long and slow (like your mom likes it, Screwey), resulting in a juicy, greasy mess.

Was quite awesome. I'd just HATE to see a pictorial of someone else doing that.

I don't think the problem is with someone showing a new cooking trick. More the idea of grinding up perfectly good STEAKS. Yes, I'm sure they make nice burgers, aided by the fat content of the ribeye. But it's kind of like taking a couple of cold water lobster tails, grinding them up, and adding them to your Tuna Helper. And you know damn well that this is just the cooking forum equivalent of "my 6,000 square foot house", "my 27 televisions", etc.

BTW, I shoot up large quantities of Ibogaine and masturbate with the fat rendered from 20 Vancouver Island Marmots.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:43 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Local meat market I shop has fresh (never frozen) ground chuck. That’s all you need to make a decent burger.

Anyone who buys “meatloaf mix” is a Grade A tard.
Generally, I would agree with you. Stuff like that or any other prepared foods are always teh suck. But, this fukkin' place is an exception. The OL brought some of the meatloaf mix home one day and I just rolled my eyes and said why did you buy it? You know it will suck.

It didn't. Not even a little. Somebody there knows their shit. Makes a fine meatloaf as is and makes out of this world burgers.
What I’m saying is you should be able to do this yourself. You know, 2 parts ground chuck, 1 part ground pork. Does this fantabulous “meatloaf mix” also include spices? Onions? Bread crumbs? Do you ever find spices or onions or bread crumbs lying around the house? If you started making your own meatloaf mix, eventually you should come up with something you’ll like better that the store bought mix, and you won’t be paying $4 per pound for bread crumbs.

not sure what thhe price on it was, but, it was quite reasonable. and the OL was working 3-4 days a week at the time, so not having to fukk with prepping is a bonus.

Could you make a better one from scratch? Yeah, I 'spose, but this shit is really good and when time is short or you are just plain lazy, it is great.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:49 pm

grinding up a ribeye does seem like a sin, but, wft. it's his jack. and i'll bet it does make a pertty nice burger.

when i was a kid, my gramps would buy top round and have the butcher grind it. holy fukk that shit was good. i would snag chunks of that stuff raw and down it. he said that since it had been ground half an hour ago, it was safe. wouldn't recommend doing that with the shrink wrapped shit from the grocery store.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:14 am

Yes, you can buy ground round today, too. Round steak is not particularly pricey. That's why it gets ground up, just like chuck. You grind the cheaper cuts of beef so they can be cooked quickly while still be chewable. Total rocket surgery, eh?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:40 am

that shit's a'ight for you paupers, but, when ya got 27 TV money, why not do the ribeye burgers. i'll bet a porterhouse burger would be pretty tasty as well. how 'bout filet minon burgers cooked in bacon fat? mmmmmmmmm

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:45 am

smackaholic wrote:that shit's a'ight for you paupers, but, when ya got 27 TV money, why not do the ribeye burgers. i'll bet a porterhouse burger would be pretty tasty as well. how 'bout filet minon burgers cooked in bacon fat? mmmmmmmmm

Either of the burgers you posit would be very lean, not enough fat content to be juicy. Stick to your "meatloaf mix".

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:56 am

One of the better burgers around this neck of the desert is served up at a little hole in the wall in a dumpy part of the Valley. The place is called Lucky Boy and they have been around since 1951. It's an old fashioned drive-in, '50's style diner that looks like a dive, but they serve up a truly inspired burger. 1/4 or 1/2 pound of freshly ground chuck, splashed with worcestershire sauce and grilled on charcoal. Add your choice of condiments. The place makes their own homemade milkshakes and has 15 varieties, including versions with fresh fruit, candy, cookies, etc. They also make homemade lemonade, adjusted to your own tartness level. Skin-on thick cut fries sprinked with seasoned salt or garlic on the side, and it's a little slice of carnivore heaven.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:03 am

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:that shit's a'ight for you paupers, but, when ya got 27 TV money, why not do the ribeye burgers. i'll bet a porterhouse burger would be pretty tasty as well. how 'bout filet minon burgers cooked in bacon fat? mmmmmmmmm
Either of the burgers you posit would be very lean, not enough fat content to be juicy. Stick to your "meatloaf mix".

that's what the bacon grease is for.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:19 am

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:that shit's a'ight for you paupers, but, when ya got 27 TV money, why not do the ribeye burgers. i'll bet a porterhouse burger would be pretty tasty as well. how 'bout filet minon burgers cooked in bacon fat? mmmmmmmmm
Either of the burgers you posit would be very lean, not enough fat content to be juicy. Stick to your "meatloaf mix".
that's what the bacon grease is for.

Cooking the burger in bacon grease will not make it more moist, unless you're putting the whole mess in a slow cooker. You must be a fucking disaster in the kitchen.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 2:08 am

My PET

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=38254

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:16 am

I seriously doubt that there would be any meaningful difference between ground chuck and ground ribeye that would justify the expense. It would be interesting to see how they would fare in a blind test.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:13 pm

mvscal wrote:I seriously doubt that there would be any meaningful difference between ground chuck and ground ribeye that would justify the expense. It would be interesting to see how they would fare in a blind test.

Well, at least you didn't dismiss the concept without trying it for yourself like some. Lesser cuts of meat can be prepared in a fashion to taste pretty good. Why go through the work when you can get a nice ribeye, S&P it and chuck it on the grill and, cooked properly, will melt in your mouth? The 50/50 sirloin/ribeye steakburger just melts in your mouth the same way. I've had plenty of cookouts with friends who said that burger is one of the best they've had without knowing it was sirloin and ribeye. I made 3 1/2 lb. burgers, and the cost of the steaks were less than $10. Money well spent. Screwball is up there talking about a $4 Jr. burger from a fast food joint that is money well spent.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:55 pm

Look, I have no doubt that if you grind up quality cuts of beef, you can make a tasty burger. But seriously, if you gave your guests a choice of a really tasty burger or a nicely grilled ribeye, which are they going to choose like 95% of the time?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:00 pm

mvscal wrote:I seriously doubt that there would be any meaningful difference between ground chuck and ground ribeye that would justify the expense. It would be interesting to see how they would fare in a blind test.

dude's got more TVs than circuit city. Price don't matter.