Is JaBloatus getting cut ?

[mvscal]

I wouldn't be surprised to see Jowlmarcus in the studio this September if he hasn't struck a playing gig yet.

Not a fucking chance. You have to prepare for studio shows and that mushmouthed moron is having a good day if he can prepare for his next bowel movement.

[Van]

Todd, have you ever heard JaMarcus speak?

The networks need their TV analysts to have at least a little personality, and they have to be able to speak. JaMarcus doesn't, and can't. He's a sullen lump. There's nothing he could add, and unless the topic has to do with taking too long to get rid of the ball, then fumbling while getting sacked, who would want to hear his "expert" opinion?

Did you ever see Ryan Leaf doing a network TV gig? Compared to JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf is Bob Costas.

[Van]

Ryan Leaf had novelty too, and more personality, yet no one stuck him on network TV.

[mvscal]

People will tune in just to witness that pile of dwindling worth.

No they won't. What the fuck do you know about what normal human beings want to watch anyway? You want to fuck your mother and tiny little girls.

You're a freak of nature who should be run down, cornered in an alley, shot full of holes and burnt to a crisp.

[Van]

Wait...



I can't decide whether it was the "cornered in an alley" or "burnt to a crisp" that made me laugh more.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

People will tune in just to witness that pile of dwindling worth.

Really? My give a fuck meter isn't budging in the slightest.

[poptart]

Todd, I really don't know what you're thinking here.

I can't think of many things JaWalrus is less equipped for than public speaking.

And come to think of it, I can't think of him being equipped for anything not involving the use of a shovel, rake, mop, or squeegee.

You've heard him talk?

It's all super slow mo' gibberish jive.

Yogi Berra on Vicodin.

Emmit Smith is velvet tongue compared to the Dixie Dipshit.

On top of not making a lick of sense, the guy is a borderline retard who, like our Paul, probably can't sit still for 10 minutes without filling his face with eclairs.

Nobody wants to sit and listen to what this f@t pile of shit has to say ... about anything.

[BSmack]

I can't think of many things JaWalrus is less equipped for than public speaking.

Figure skating. He would suck as a figure skater.

Also NFL quarterback. He's not very good at that either.

[R-Jack]

The name of the video should be all you need to know about JaDiabetic's chances in the studio.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eK3k-LLnZ7k&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eK3k-LLnZ7k&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[R-Jack]

"An incredible representation of Alabama"...

All colors coming together to make one big fucked up mess?

[Van]

BTW, I couldn't understand a fuckin' thing JaMarcus said. Not all of us Mobilians speak like that.

That's because he's one of the educated ones.

[Van]

It's only your bottle of tequila telling you that. Common sense and all recent precedents say you're so wrong as to be funny.

[mvscal]

Something still tells me that I'll be bumping this thread and saying "See.....told ya."

Something tells me that you should be jacking off with a cheesegrater before pissing into a lightsocket.

[poptart]

JaWalrus update!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGS7V-vv ... r_embedded


Warmin' himself up for a TV gig, Todd.



:|

[Bucmonkey]

Can someone please translate...

[DallasFanatic]

So what the heck happened when the front office of the Raiders was interviewing this guy prior to making him a #1 draft choice?

You can say all you want about the Raider player's sucking cack, but the front office can't be any better.

[poptart]

Al obviously had his head very far up his @ss.

Davis has always gone erect for ... the physical specimen.

He overlooked the fact that JaWalrus is a semi-retard because he believed the guy could ------> go vertical like none other.

But don't kid yourself, either, DFan.
If Oakland hadn't taken Russell #1 overall, somebody was going to take him early in rd. 1.
V. Young is a complete dumbfuck, too, and anyone "interviewing" him would know that in short order.
Didn't stop him from being snatched up early.

The REAL crime Al committed was in just gift wrapping the starting QB job and handing it to the immature thug wannabe.

Just amazing stupidity on Alvis' part and it rightfully cost him a LOT of coin.

[R-Jack]

JaWalrus update!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGS7V-vv ... r_embedded

[poptart]

I'm SO looking forward to breaking out with the Billy
White Shoes Johnson Funky Chicken in the middle of
my living room on the inevitable day the JaWalrus
Russell is BROKE stories begin to surface.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdo ... nfl-329411

[Screw_Michigan]

"Life Coach" John Lucas to JaMushMouth: Go fuck yourself.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=j ... nce_041411

Nearly four years after JaMarcus Russell(notes) became the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL draft, his playing career may have completely bottomed out after “life coach” John Lucas asked Russell to leave Houston recently, two sources close to the quarterback told Yahoo! Sports.

Russell, 25, and Lucas had been working together since September in hopes of getting Russell into shape for a return to the NFL. The aforementioned sources say Russell, released by the Oakland Raiders last May, initially worked hard, but quickly lost motivation. Recently Lucas tired of trying to get Russell, the top pick in 2007, to respond to instruction and assistance.

Lucas did not return several phone messages left for him, and agents Eric Metz and Ethan Locke did not want to discuss Russell’s condition. However, the sources said Russell’s lack of effort had driven even Lucas, who has made a career of helping athletes and others with drug and addiction problems, to the point of frustration.

In addition to Lucas, TNT analyst and former NBA star Charles Barkley tried to motivate Russell, according to one of the sources. Both Barkley and Russell are from Alabama, prompting the Hall of Famer to take an interest in Russell.

“The title of your article should be, ‘It’s Over,’ ” the same source said. “It’s just amazing that you could say that about somebody who is 25 years old and just got drafted four years ago. But it’s been almost a year since he got cut and there’s no interest. Even before the lockout, nobody wanted to get near the kid.”

[DallasFanatic]

Anyone else see the segment on ESPN where Gruden spouts off typical verbiage of a NFL play call and Cam Newton sits there with a blank look on his face? It will take a career for this guy to learn how to call plays.

JaMonkey part 2.

[mvscal]

Anyone else see the segment on ESPN where Gruden spouts off typical verbiage of a NFL play call and Cam Newton sits there with a blank look on his face? It will take a career for this guy to learn how to call plays.

JaMonkey part 2.

Assuming he even cares about learning to call plays. He considers himself an entertainer first. I have to admit that it will be entertaining to watch him crash and burn in the NFL.

[Goober McTuber]

Don't see any way Newton makes it as an NFL QB.

Bullshit. He's the next Daunte Culpepper.

[BSmack]

Don't see any way Newton makes it as an NFL QB.

Bullshit. He's the next Daunte Culpepper.

So he'll be fine until his mobility become impaired in any way and then he'll suck. Let this be the absolute high water mark for Newton predictions.

As for me, I think he'll be another Vince Young. His insane physical gifts will allow him to compete. But he won't win jack until he upgrades that 5 cent head of his.

[Goober McTuber]

Don't see any way Newton makes it as an NFL QB.

Bullshit. He's the next Daunte Culpepper.

So he'll be fine until his mobility become impaired in any way and then he'll suck. Let this be the absolute high water mark for Newton predictions.

As for me, I think he'll be another Vince Young. His insane physical gifts will allow him to compete. But he won't win jack until he upgrades that 5 cent head of his.

He may not be that much smarter than Vince, but I think he’s better mentally balanced. He may also have a better arm.