Fat Fucks Thread

[Mikey]

Also, anyone have some good recipes for someone trying to lower their bad cholestoral?

1 tblt Lipitor
1 tblt Zetia
4 tbs oat bran
4 grams fish oil

Combine in any way you like. Consume daily.

As a variation, mix in some daily exercise.

[OCmike]

Eat salmon at least once a week an add an Omega-3 fish oil supplement to your daily pill pile. I've tried a bunch of brands and Spring Valley is the only one that didn't give me pussylicker's breath.

[smackaholic]

I found out 3 weeks ago that my bad cholestoral is a little high (105) and my doc wants it down to 70-80. I've replaced vegetable oil with canola oil, egg beaters instead of the real eggs fried in bacon grease, eating oatmeal and wheat toast in the morning, more veggies, and snacking on fruits/carrots instead of chips and dip and junk food. My total cholestoral was only 165 and my wait is steady at 180 pounds. I've been working out 3-4 days a week but nothing too strenuous (stretching, crunches, light weights) but would like to get a decent bike this spring. I have a cheap mountain bike but gave it to my son to ride around campus while he's in school, so I'd like to find something better/more comfortable but relatively inexpensive. Any suggestions for what I should be trying to buy? I won't be going on any 50-100 mile treks, just something to ride around town instead of driving. There's a good bike shop about 20 miles from where I live, and I could pick up a used bike, but I need to know what type of bike would best suit my needs.

Also, anyone have some good recipes for someone trying to lower their bad cholestoral?

check out bikeforums.net

it is a very active board, unlike this shithole. you can get lots of info there. get a decent bike and you may rethink that 50-100 mile thing. 50 miles on a good bike that fits you properly is a piece of cake. 100 miles? i'll let you know when i do one. once you figure out what kind of bike you want, start checking out craigslist and i don't mean the section dins frequents. my recomendation, for starters would be a good older road bike. there are all sorts of 80s vintage good quality road bikes out there. they are mostly steel framed which means they ride like caddies unlike my al lou minnie ummm trek roadbike that rides like a shopping cart (still love it).

if you have any back, neck or wrist issues, give recumbents a look. being an old timer, you'll look right at home on one. they are comfy as hell. pretty much like riding a lawn chair.

we recently bought a very nice recumbent stationary bike and i love the thing. my package loves it even more as the recumbent does not put it into a sleeper hold like upright exercise bikes do.

[smackaholic]

l to r:
Indy on this comfy bike

There's a guy in my neighborhood who rides a bike like that. Not as "pimped out" but I saw him on it a few months ago and said "Hmm...it's probably comfy."

dude, all 'bent riders are pimped out.

this guy does not fit the 'bent rider stereotype in a few ways though. he is skinny, lacking an "aerobelly" as they say, rather derisively in biking circles (on the interweb, anyway). also, he does not have a beard. 99% of all 'bent riders have beards, glasses (round john lennon style)an aerobelly and some sort of engineering or science degree. they pretty much all have the geeky helmet mirror too. actually, i have one as well. wouldn't ride without it.

once mikey decides to get off his fat ass and start riding, he should fit right in with the 'bent crowd.

mikey, can you grow a decent beard?

one other thing i just noticed about that pic. he has the gax shorts. 'bent rider dude usually doesn't wear them because, well, he doesn't have to. his junk is not subject to the battering we upright riders have to deal with.

i think i know why this dude doesn't really fit the typical 'bent profile. he is 'bent racer dude. you can tell by the aero rims. nice thing about 'bents is they fukking fly as long as you aren't going up hill. they are actually banned by the organization that runs the Tour de France and all those other gax events.

[Dinsdale]

this guy does not fit the 'bent rider stereotype in a few ways though. he is skinny, lacking an "aerobelly" as they say, rather derisively in biking circles (on the interweb, anyway). also, he does not have a beard. 99% of all 'bent riders have beards, glasses (round john lennon style)an aerobelly and some sort of engineering or science degree. they pretty much all have the geeky helmet mirror too.

I'm pretty comfortable taking a guess that recumbents in my area outnumber yours on a per-capita basis by a factor of at least 3.

That said... couldn't have thrown down a better description my-U&L-self. Spot on.

It's a true symbol of douchebaggery.


Of course, in my town (or the big town I live adjacent to), they can't keep the schools open, and Portland Teachers are about as safe in their jobs as assembly line workers at GM, but apparently coming up with $20 mil to connect all the bike trails and build some new ones is no problemo... faggot mayor* rides a bike to work, and doesn't see the problem.


* -- he really is a faggot... and is apparently the guy who started all the other faggots wearing those stupid faggot little tiny square framed glasses that are all the rage among faggots these days... what a trendsetter he is... faggot.

[smackaholic]

this guy does not fit the 'bent rider stereotype in a few ways though. he is skinny, lacking an "aerobelly" as they say, rather derisively in biking circles (on the interweb, anyway). also, he does not have a beard. 99% of all 'bent riders have beards, glasses (round john lennon style)an aerobelly and some sort of engineering or science degree. they pretty much all have the geeky helmet mirror too.

I'm pretty comfortable taking a guess that recumbents in my area outnumber yours on a per-capita basis by a factor of at least 3.

That said... couldn't have thrown down a better description my-U&L-self. Spot on.

It's a true symbol of douchebaggery.


Of course, in my town (or the big town I live adjacent to), they can't keep the schools open, and Portland Teachers are about as safe in their jobs as assembly line workers at GM, but apparently coming up with $20 mil to connect all the bike trails and build some new ones is no problemo... faggot mayor* rides a bike to work, and doesn't see the problem.


* -- he really is a faggot... and is apparently the guy who started all the other faggots wearing those stupid faggot little tiny square framed glasses that are all the rage among faggots these days... what a trendsetter he is... faggot.

what was he again, dins? i missed it.

[Goober McTuber]

this guy does not fit the 'bent rider stereotype in a few ways though. he is skinny, lacking an "aerobelly" as they say, rather derisively in biking circles (on the interweb, anyway). also, he does not have a beard. 99% of all 'bent riders have beards, glasses (round john lennon style)an aerobelly and some sort of engineering or science degree. they pretty much all have the geeky helmet mirror too.

I'm pretty comfortable taking a guess that recumbents in my area outnumber yours on a per-capita basis by a factor of at least 3.

That said... couldn't have thrown down a better description my-U&L-self. Spot on.

It's a true symbol of douchebaggery.


Of course, in my town (or the big town I live adjacent to), they can't keep the schools open, and Portland Teachers are about as safe in their jobs as assembly line workers at GM, but apparently coming up with $20 mil to connect all the bike trails and build some new ones is no problemo... faggot mayor* rides a bike to work, and doesn't see the problem.


* -- he really is a faggot... and is apparently the guy who started all the other faggots wearing those stupid faggot little tiny square framed glasses that are all the rage among faggots these days... what a trendsetter he is... faggot.

what was he again, dins? i missed it.

The M-A-Y-O-R.

[PSUFAN]

PGH was recently named #28 on a bike-friendly city list - a HUGE improvement. At any rate, I'm planning a 120 mile ride early this summer. I am borrowing a recumbent - not down with junk agitation for a ride of that length.

[Mikey]

You need to learn how to participate in the healthy west coast lifestyle.

My OL give me shit if I break out a half dozen tortilla chips and some salsa for a snack after work.

"I thought you wanted to lose weight...."

We work in the same office and once a week or so we go out to lunch. Most of the time she's begging to go to In 'n Out for cheeseburgers and fries. Sometimes for dinner at home she wants fast food too. But a couple of tortilla chips are going to fucking kill me.

[Dinsdale]

PGH was recently named #28 on a bike-friendly city list - a HUGE improvement.

And after 15 straight years at #1, Portland was relegated to #2, behind a city that's covered in snow/ice half the year.

Methinks someone at the bike magazine had a bone to pick or something... the FAGGOT mayor decides to fire all the teachers and janitors to fund $20 mil in bike paths... and it merits a downgrade? (Money spent on improvements to bike infrastructure is one of the major criteria in the rankings.)

I'm slowly but surely getting my biking legs back. I'm not a fat fuck, and never have been, but I ain't the hardbody I used to be, either.

That "aging" thing's a real hoot, eh?

[Goober McTuber]

Madison, WI underrated at #7.

[Dinsdale]

Madison, WI underrated at #7.

This is based on your experience cycling in Minneapolis, Portland, Boulder, Seattle, Eugene*, and San Francisco?


BUT, in your defense -- you probably have almost as much of the aforementioned experience as the people who made up those rankings, so what the heck.

Arbitrary "bike friendly" criteria. While much of Portland ain't exactly flat, much of the city-proper/inner areas are. Not sure how "bike friendly" a person would find San Fran or Seattle when their long ride culminates in a 8,000,000 foot ride up a cliff to get home.


* -- further proof of their whack methodology. While Eugene may not have as many miles of bike path (makes sense that a city of 150,000 has less miles than a city of millions), or the bike path budget of the others, when one considers that pretty much the entire city is one giant bike path, and cars yield to bikes in HippyMecca, and there's probably more bikes than cars on the road, it seems like a no-brainer for #1, with the others paling in comparison. Then again, considering the misleading criteria of miles-of-path and budget for infrastructure, I'm guessing there's a whoooooole buncha college towns that could make a claim... as evidenced by the high rankings of Eugene and Madison, which are big towns with big colleges, methinks.

[Goober McTuber]

Madison, WI underrated at #7.

This is based on your experience cycling in Minneapolis, Portland, Boulder, Seattle, Eugene*, and San Francisco?

Actually, it was based on my opinion that the bicycle rating folks picked a hilarious picture for Madison. Appropriate, yes, because there is a hardcore core of cyclists who regularly bike here in those kinds of conditions, but hilarious nonetheless.

[smackaholic]

gotta love hard core hippy bike commuter dude. he is out there on his stud tire equipped mountain bike slogging the three and a half miles through 9 inches of slush to his yob at the used CD store because he needs to show everyone that he's not a weather pussy.

So what if riding on these streets surrounded by 4000 lb steel cages is suicidal? So what if actually walking in such conditions might even be quicker and easier? So what if snow plow dude doesn't mind scratching up his plow a little bit on your Trek?

I am a huge fan of biking, especially bike commuting, but when there is all that white shit on the ground, get out your bus pass unless you can make it all the way to work via bike path.

[socal]

But a couple of chips are going to fucking kill me.

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[Mikey]

I think I get your drift, socal, but for some reason the big picture just isn't getting through.

[smackaholic]

You need to learn how to participate in the healthy west coast lifestyle.

lead by example, slim.

[socal]

^^^Parmesan and garlic pita chips with a jalapeno hummus. Them's killer.^^^

[ElTaco]

I can't read all the drivel you fat fucks have posted, but I'll admit, I'm one as well and have been doing the whole south beach diet lately, which mainly cuts out carbs and focuses on a lot of veggies and meats. The initial kick off worked great and than I stagnated. I think its probably the fact that I cheat once or twice a week and maybe I should cut some of the quantity back. Anyway, my new plan to add exercise is to get back to biking, however, since I spend about 2.5 to 3 hours a day on the road, to and from work, its almost impossible to get any training in during the week. I also am not a fan of gyms and plus they are so fing expensive. I mean if I was spending some serious time there, every day, than maybe it would be worth the expense but lets face it, I'm fat for a reason and it aint because I love to hang at the gym. So I found this deal online this week and decided to get an indoor cycling bike:
http://www.csnstores.com/Sunny-Health-a ... F1056.html

After doing some search, the current price on the site is the best out there. Most other stores online either charge shipping or are more expensive (or both). Stores locally charge tax and I would have to get it home and up the stairs.

Anyway, If anyone has been looking for a way to excercise at home with something low impact, cycling is one of the best ways and if you can stick this in front of the TV, you won't even have to miss your favorite evening show or gaming. Now if someone was smart, they would develop a sensor that you could hook up to a gaming system and do some racing, I bet they could get some $$$ out of it from people like me...

[BSmack]

Somebody smarter than me once said the best cardio to do is the cardio that you love to do. Right now for me that is boxing. I had a buddy who was cleaning out his house give me one of these not too long ago.



You would be amazed at how fucking tired you get after beating the shit out of a bag for five or six 3 minute rounds. Mix in some treadmill time and you have a kick your ass workout that works the whole body. I'll never climb in the ring with someone, but I love hitting defenseless bags.

[Dinsdale]

Mix in some treadmill time and you have a kick your ass workout that works the whole body. I'll never climb in the ring with someone, but I love hitting defenseless bags.

Learn some basic muay thai kicks, and you get one heck of a workout.

[BSmack]

Mix in some treadmill time and you have a kick your ass workout that works the whole body. I'll never climb in the ring with someone, but I love hitting defenseless bags.

Learn some basic muay thai kicks, and you get one heck of a workout.

Just checked out some videos. Looks like some high octane shit. I am intrigued.

Right now I mix in some basic kicks. I'm mostly working on strengthening my left leg. I can deliver a head high kick with my right that has some power. But my left leg makes Ken look like Chuck Liddell by comparison. So I do 2 left kicks for every right kick that I do. So far, the results have been good. In this morning's session I was able to manage a few kicks that vaguely resembled honest to God kicks with power. When I can do 3 minutes without losing power on either side, I'll be much happier.

[Mikey]

Anyway, If anyone has been looking for a way to excercise at home with something low impact, cycling is one of the best ways and if you can stick this in front of the TV, you won't even have to miss your favorite evening show or gaming. Now if someone was smart, they would develop a sensor that you could hook up to a gaming system and do some racing, I bet they could get some $$$ out of it from people like me...

I have one of these at home, which is probably one of the best "whole body" cardio workouts you can get:



You can do distance training, interval training and a lot of stuff depending on how you set it up. I used it religiously for about 12 years ago until arthritis in my hips made it impossible to use. I finally go it back out last week after three years and am starting to build up my workouts again.

A little on the pricey side, I bought mine about 15 years ago for, I think $750. The current model is a couple of hundred more.

[Mikey]

You must have seen a different machine then. It's not a wire, but a chain.

Next time you see one, maybe you should stop and pick it up. It might do you fat ass some good.

These people seem to think it's worthwhile...

[indyfrisco]

if you can stick this in front of the TV, you won't even have to miss your favorite evening show or gaming.

Interesting....

[missjo]

I'd stacked on the weight after Christmas especially after discovering the delights of Kopperberg Swedish pear cider which has like 1000 calories a bottle
I now swim 2kms 5 days a week & have cut out alcohol & processed foods
I've dropped 20kgs since late January & dropped 5 dress sizes
though I'm not as delighted with my new scent eau du chlorine

[Mikey]

Fuck. You people are disgustingly fat.

I've lost more weight than all of you weigh collectively.

Seriously...how's it goin'?

I'm down from 240 to 214 since last year and still dropping.

When the doc told me I was "pre-diabetic" I pretty much cut about 80% of the carbs from my diet. Beer is out for the most part. White rice is out. Pizza, bagels, bread...pretty much anything made from wheat flour... are out except for an occasional special event. A whole lot of exercise doesn't hurt either. All the numbers are now in the low to normal range.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Take care of yourself, Mikey.

We need you.

[molly]

You are looking so incredibly great and sexy, Buttsy. I'm so proud of you!

[Goober McTuber]

That was in July. He's probably back up to 3 bills by now.

[FLW Buckeye]

You are looking so incredibly great and sexy, Buttsy. I'm so proud of you!

Thanks, sweetie!

No - Goobs. BUT - I seem to have leveled out at 230-235. Guess I'm gonna actually have to get off my ass to make it go down further. :( But hey - that's still better than 330...

Or being 3'3"...

sin,
You know who

[Mikey]

I went from 242 to 212 earlier this year. Then I changed jobs and was on travel 90% of the time. Went back up to 224 - restaurant food and a lack of exercise will do that.

But...I quit that job today, effective 12/31, and will get back on the program as soon as my Christmas prime rib is eaten.

RACK me for beating it on down the line.

[Dinsdale]

Update:

I'm still svelte.

[smackaholic]

Chicks and faggits are svelte.

I had the same issue as local slim this year, a yob that is not conducive to exercise. Regular 200-400 mile days behind the wheel is the suck. Got up to 245 or so. Got a wake up call last month when I was officially diagnosed with high blood pressure. Have been eating better, still not exercising enough though. Think I need a boob tube in the den where my recumbent exercise bike is. Turn TV watching into a cardio event.

[trev]

Even if you are eating right you gotta exercise. Some of you are getting up there in age and I d recommend keeping those muscles conditioned. Especially the core and butt. I learned the hard way the past couple months. L5 S1 spine issues are no fun. Whatsoever.

[Diego in Seattle]

As far as sweet substitutes - the sugar-free Snack-Pack puddings rule. I get my chocolate fix that way with no blood sugar change at all.

Along the same lines...Popsicle brand s/f popsicles. I accidently bought the s/f ones around 2003 and have been getting them ever since.

[Goober McTuber]

So Pedo is also a fat fuck. Time to update spreadsheets.

[Mikey]

Snack Pack Puddings - the perfect health food. No sugar and chock full of good stuff like

sorbitol
maltitol
vegetable oil (contains one or more of the following: palm oil, partially hydrogenated palm oil, sunflower oil, partially hydrogenated soybean oil)
sodium stearoyl lactylate
carrageenan
artificial flavor
sucralose
acesulfame potassium

I just loves me some acesulfame potassium.

[Diego in Seattle]

So Pedo is also a fat fuck. Time to update spreadsheets.

It might be a better use of time for you to enroll in a RIF program rather than worrying about spreadsheets.

[Carson]

"F*t" has become a filtered word.