Theme restaurants you want ABSOLUTELY NO PART OF.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:49 pm

Uncle Diego's Pizza Playground: a "Chucky Cheese" styled kids eatery with large, spacious, mirrored restrooms.

smackaholic's Backyard Grill: Jalapeńo poppers every Thursday...and don't forget to enjoy our "All-You-Can-Inject" Tetanus Bar!

Screw_Michigan Diner: In the heart of DC. That's right...I said DC...now under new MGMT.

Indy Frisco's First And Goal: Catch the game at IF's hot sports bar on one of our 27 TV's.

The Rumple-Trough: Corral the herd on down! Cutlery-free since 2007!

Le mvscal: Let our aggressive staff brow-beat you into ordering something they wouldn't actually eat themselves. Cuisine for the discriminating self-loather.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:55 pm

Scott's: Lift one of our menus and enjoy our steamed entrées. Ucant go wrong at Scott's. Parking in the rear.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:09 pm

rack comrade marty

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:09 pm

Martyred wrote:Scott's: Lift one of our menus and enjoy our steamed entrées. Ucant go wrong at Scott's. Parking in the rear.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:17 pm

Irie's Hot dog stand- Other hot dog stands can't measure up.

JSC's cajun cookin' - Cater's to cajun food lover's with chronic gastrointestinal problems. Not yet open as chip has yet to find any menu items that meet this criteria.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:19 pm

AP's Mancave - Dress code: Formal? Business casual? Not at the Mancave. Come as you are, even in androgynous underoos! No dining tables, no chairs. Get comfy on our many couches. Stay awhile if you'd like!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:22 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:AP's Mancave - Dress code - Formal? Business casual? Not at the Mancave. Come as you are, even in androgynous underoos! No dining tables, no chairs. Get comfy on our many couches. Stay awhile if you'd like!

don't forget to "sign" the mirrored wall behind the bar.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:25 pm

I was thinking of quarter garden hose well drinks for happy hour.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:38 pm

Martyred wrote:Screw_Michigan Diner: In the heart of DC. That's right...I said DC...now under new MGMT.

rack

Martyred wrote:Scott's: Lift one of our menus and enjoy our steamed entrées. Ucant go wrong at Scott's. Parking in the rear.

rack

Martyred wrote:Indy Frisco's First And Goal: Catch the game at IF's hot sports bar on one of our 27 TV's.

:? Yeah, I hate sports bars with a lot of tvs.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:40 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Martyred wrote:Indy Frisco's First And Goal: Catch the game at IF's hot sports bar on one of our 27 TV's.
:? Yeah, I hate sports bars with a lot of tvs.

You would if the owner was an utter douchebag.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:43 pm

Martyred wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Martyred wrote:Indy Frisco's First And Goal: Catch the game at IF's hot sports bar on one of our 27 TV's.
:? Yeah, I hate sports bars with a lot of tvs.
You would if the owner was an utter douchebag.

Maybe you add that he tries to sell home made hot sauce?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:49 pm

trev's Fish Taco Hut: ATTENTION ~ Due to odour complaints by local residents, trev's Fish Taco Hut will be closed indefinitely, pending inspection by yours truly, Martyred, so that we can "clean up down there" and bring the Taco Hut up to community Health and Safety standards. I shall be spending as much time as necessary in trev's Fish Taco. If the Hut is a rockin'...don't bother knockin'.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:56 pm

You are a canuckian and all that....

But your efforts in trying to breathe some life up in here is commendable!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:17 pm

Goober's Grill: If you can get the last word on the server you might eat before midnight.

The Puffy Coat: Nice enough place, until there's an issue.

"Excuse me, this steak is terribly overcooked, I'd like another."

"No, YOU'RE terribly overcooked."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"No, YOU don't even make sense."

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:20 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: The Puffy Coat: Nice enough place, until there's an issue.

"Excuse me, this steak is terribly overcooked, I'd like another."

"No, YOU'RE terribly overcooked."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"No, YOU don't even make sense."

Solid-fucking-gold

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:49 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Goober's Grill: If you can get the last word on the server you might eat before midnight.

The Puffy Coat: Nice enough place, until there's an issue.

"Excuse me, this steak is terribly overcooked, I'd like another."

"No, YOU'RE terribly overcooked."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"No, YOU don't even make sense."

You forgot the "Bwawhahahh! BODE!" -- KC Kaley

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 6:46 pm

Yeah, I know. Kaley is just an all-around tard who doesn't make any fucking sense, either, so I thought I'd include him.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:49 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:Yeah, I know. Kaley is just an all-around tard who doesn't make any fucking sense, either, so I thought I'd include him.

Or maybe you could just, you know, not try to "fix that for ya" for, well, anybody. Hey, it would be great if you could...stop doing that. Thanks a bunch.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:47 pm

Rack Marty and Mgo for the first hearty laugs of the day.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 11:34 pm

Somebody 'chive this bitch. Simply outstanding, Tovarisch...

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:33 am

88 wrote:haught quisine

Gordon Ramsay wants to stab you in the face with his $2,000 chef's knife.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:52 am

poptart's BBQ Kennel: Dog tired of the wife hounding you for a great place to eat? Don't paws for even a minute...C'mon down to poptart's BBQ Kennel! Succulent canines beaten to that mmmm-mmmm perfection! The meat just melts off the bone at poptart's BBQ Kennel! For the kids, a free surprise (actually, just Bible tracts) in every Puppy Meal! You so hungry? We so delicious! Complimentary valet barking.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:01 am

Todd's Owen Steak House: Looking for that special getaway with glory-holes in the men's room? Enjoy our sizzling selections at Todd's Owen Steak House! Todd's mom masterfully grill your steak to perfection, as Todd rubs up against her, whispering lewd suggestions in her ear, such as you would only hear in a German porn movie. And don't forget! There's always the chance the owner might auto-erotically asphyxiate his shit self, allowing you to skip out on the bill!

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:24 am

Martyred wrote:Todd's Owen Steak House: Looking for that special getaway with glory-holes in the men's room? Enjoy our sizzling selections at Todd's Owen Steak House! Todd's mom masterfully grill your steak to perfection, as Todd rubs up against her, whispering lewd suggestions in her ear, such as you would only hear in a German porn movie. And don't forget! There's always the chance the owner might auto-erotically asphyxiate his shit self, allowing you to skip out on the bill!

Don't forget the birthday surprise which will leave even the most hardened diner with a great, big smile on his face.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:34 am

mvscal wrote:
Don't forget the birthday surprise which will leave even the most hardened diner with a great, big smile on his face.

Quite understandable. At "Todd's Owen Steak House", the staff lives off of tips.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:53 am

The Dinsdalian - On the quaint banks of the Rogue River sits The Dinsdalian, where chef/owner/general know-it-all Dinsdale has forgotten more about fresh seafood than you could ever hope to know...and will remind you throughout the evening. Dig in to the Spring Chinook Salmon caught merely hours prior to your arrival by the master angler himself. He will belittle your selection, despite meticulously choosing his own menu items, simply because he can. Enjoy one of several hand-crafted microbrews, which boast more hops in one pint glass than Anheiser Busch's entire hop farm. Brewed straight from the confines of Dinsdale's basement, which doubles as a squatter's dwelling for old high school buddies. Don't judge. Belly up to the bar on Thursday nights, and enter the "20 Beer Sampler Challenge" where contestants will compete for a free liver.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:58 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:The Dinsdalian

Sounds deece enough. Is there a Wiki entry for the Dinsdalian?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:03 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:The Dinsdalian - On the quaint banks of the Rogue River sits The Dinsdalian, where chef/owner/general know-it-all Dinsdale has forgotten more about fresh seafood than you could ever hope to know...and will remind you throughout the evening. Dig in to the Spring Chinook Salmon caught merely hours prior to your arrival by the master angler himself. He will belittle your selection, despite meticulously choosing his own menu items, simply because he can. Enjoy one of several hand-crafted microbrews, which boast more hops in one pint glass than Anheiser Busch's entire hop farm. Brewed straight from the confines of Dinsdale's basement, which doubles as a squatter's dwelling for old high school buddies. Don't judge. Belly up to the bar on Thursday nights, and enter the "20 Beer Sampler Challenge" where contestants will compete for a free liver.

Okay, post of the day!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:47 am

Old Country Buffspray

Salad is a sin at Old Country Buffspray. "If we can't fry it, you can't buy it." Don't shed the pounds, shed the shame, where we make it cool to be fat. All customers 400 lbs and heavier will receive the "VIP" treatment, which includes services such as air-lifting into the establishment, gas mask to ward off the dangerous waft of methane that permeates the restaurant, and complimentary snack bar for when your hunger strikes in between feasts.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:31 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Old Country Buffspray

Salad is a sin at Old Country Buffspray. "If we can't fry it, you can't buy it." Don't shed the pounds, shed the shame, where we make it cool to be fat. All customers 400 lbs and heavier will receive the "VIP" treatment, which includes services such as air-lifting into the establishment, gas mask to ward off the dangerous waft of methane that permeates the restaurant, and complimentary snack bar for when your hunger strikes in between feasts.

Meh...fuckin' "restaurant makeovers"...

I liked it better when it was "Johnny's Bacon Barn". It went downhill after the owner claimed to be not interested in opening up any other locations and then was discovered to be franchising behind everyone's back.

Still...their "Scale-Tipper" (an entire honey-glazed ham sandwiched by two buckets of KFC, drenched in peanut butter and marshmallow gravy) was pretty good.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:59 am

Perk's Truck Stop Diner

Long night on the road? Stop in at Perk's and enjoy a hot meal with a fresh cup of joe brewed straight from the Perkolator. Perk's offers free wi-fi, so bring along your laptop where you can engage in petty message board drama, troll for dates from another country, or whatever perks your interest. Our hostess, Katy, will greet you with a warm smile...unless you send back your toast, then next thing you know you're chained to a bedpost like Paul from Misery. High seats available for the vertically challenged.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:15 pm

The Brown Starfish: PSUFAN's haught quisine eatery.

Don't be hatin' on my paved spokes.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:49 pm

Martyred wrote:Still...their "Scale-Tipper" (an entire honey-glazed ham sandwiched by two buckets of KFC, drenched in peanut butter and marshmallow gravy) was pretty good.

Sounds like a cute little appetizer. What do they have for entrées?

Sincerely,

Papa Willie

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:46 am

Goober's Deli: Nobody shaves their meat closer than Goober.

R-Jack's Roadside Bar and Grill: White trash attire required. Half price for all drinks if you need to show ID to prove that you're old enough to buy them. Use the bathroom at your own risk.

M2's Medieval Tavern: Prepare for a feast fit for Henry VIII. Jousting for your entertainment pleasure while you dine. Windchime hawkers visit your tableside dressed in chainmail and lipstick.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:53 am

Bsmack's chew'n'screw

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:02 am

Atomic Punk wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:The Dinsdalian - On the quaint banks of the Rogue River sits The Dinsdalian, where chef/owner/general know-it-all Dinsdale has forgotten more about fresh seafood than you could ever hope to know...and will remind you throughout the evening. Dig in to the Spring Chinook Salmon caught merely hours prior to your arrival by the master angler himself. He will belittle your selection, despite meticulously choosing his own menu items, simply because he can. Enjoy one of several hand-crafted microbrews, which boast more hops in one pint glass than Anheiser Busch's entire hop farm. Brewed straight from the confines of Dinsdale's basement, which doubles as a squatter's dwelling for old high school buddies. Don't judge. Belly up to the bar on Thursday nights, and enter the "20 Beer Sampler Challenge" where contestants will compete for a free liver.
Okay, post of the day!

2rd, with one comment.

At the dinsdalian, there is no selection belittling, as there is no menu. No worries though, as your host knows what is best. Just bring your appetite and cash. If you are a little light on cash and decent looking, other arrangements can be made.

Who are we kidding? You can be less than decent looking.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:05 pm

smackaholic wrote:Bsmack's chew'n'screw

Their $15 "All-You-Can-Swindle" buffet is pretty good.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:10 am

At BSmack's you are required to pay before you eat.

l to r: waitress, bartender, patron #1, patron #2

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:20 am

Iwanttochewonmissconduct'smeatcurtainsanddelicatessen

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:28 am

Martyred wrote:$15 "All-You-Can-Swindle" buffet

perfection.