I've said the same things you've expressed here countless times....unfortunately I'm a glutton for punishment and that's why I keep going back....MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
I'm surprised there hasn't been more opposition.
Fuck golf
Moderator: Jesus H Christ
- Felix
- 2012 JAFFL Champ
- Posts: 9271
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
- Location: probably on a golf course
Re: Fuck golf
get out, get out while there's still time
- campinfool
- 2009 PET Champion
- Posts: 974
- Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:39 am
- Location: TEXAS
Re: Fuck golf
Golf ranks right up there with tennis for me. The only thing worse than Golf and Tennis are playing Golf and Tennis or watching a movie about Golf or Tennis.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21787
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Fuck golf
Tennis was extremely watchable during the Borg-Mac wimbledon wars. Since then, not so much.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
-
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Re: Fuck golf
WTF?!?Papa Willie wrote:If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
Re: Fuck golf
^^^^^^^^^^MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:*UPDATE*
Golf still sucks.
This.
I will begrudgingly allow myself to be dragged out to play about once a summer on “reunion” weekends. Generally, the time invested in this exercise would be better spent driving an ice-pick into my molars with a ball-peen hammer.
Oh, it’s not that I don’t enjoy the camaraderie of my buds; strolling through magnificent tick-infested woods in search of no less than three sleeves of balls; or even subsidizing the beer-cart skank’s brats for another year. It’s just that I completely suck at the game. If I’m going to dedicate half my day towards an activity, I’d rather it be towards completing a long run – preferably a marathon.
Got no bitch with those who play – it’s just not for me. Rack this thread.
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
I like watching women's tennis. I really could care less about the men's side.smackaholic wrote:Tennis was extremely watchable during the Borg-Mac wimbledon wars. Since then, not so much.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Putting Spray's look-at-me! shock humor aside, nobody questioned the skill required to play golf at a high level. If conversations were delicious chicken breasts deep fried in lard, perhaps Spray could follow along.Goober McTuber wrote:WTF?!?Papa Willie wrote:If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.
- Left Seater
- 36,000 ft above the chaos
- Posts: 13491
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: The Great State of Texas
Re: Fuck golf
I enjoy the occasional round. There aren't many other activities where it is totally acceptable to be outside and drinking during the work day and still get a paycheck while doing it.
I also enjoy going to the tourneys. I enjoy picking a pairing and walking the round with them. Amazing to see some of their recoveries when they do make a mistake. When I do that it often leads to double or triple bogey. For them it means par. Nothing wrong with the free booze and shade in the corporate tents along 17 and 18 either.
I also enjoy going to the tourneys. I enjoy picking a pairing and walking the round with them. Amazing to see some of their recoveries when they do make a mistake. When I do that it often leads to double or triple bogey. For them it means par. Nothing wrong with the free booze and shade in the corporate tents along 17 and 18 either.
Moving Sale wrote:I really are a fucking POS.
Softball Bat wrote: I am the dumbest motherfucker ever to post on the board.
Re: Fuck golf
As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...
When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.
When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
-
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Re: Fuck golf
That’s because in the real world, conservatively dressed negros have better things to do than to interact with a fat fucking loser like you.Toddowen wrote:Televised golf also is the best sport for commercials, or lack of.
EVen when there are commercials, they're not glitzy productions of unrealistic diversity: conservativley dressed negros discussing the perks of their financial portfolio with a puzzled white person. That just doesn't happen in the real world.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf

~cue Masters theme song~
As you walk the 18th at T1B, you can't help but breathe in the hallowed glory of smack and remember the legends: Moreese, Euroclone, MCET. The racked posts are in full bloom and each poster primed to make their mark on history. Hello, friends. I'm Jim Nantz, and you're watching Cul de Smack on T1B, a message board unlike any other.
Re: Fuck golf
KC Scott wrote:if I was any good at it I'd probably love it
I don't commit myself to any one skill level.
I'll go somewhere between 80-ish and 95 at random.
I think it's in proportion to BAC. I gots mad short game when sober.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Re: Fuck golf
I used to laugh at it, the new arcade for the plebs. Tried it, got humiliated - and got absolutely hooked. There isn't a better day out.
Re: Fuck golf
Dr_Phibes wrote:I used to laugh at it, the new arcade for the plebs. Tried it, got humiliated - and got absolutely hooked. There isn't a better day out.
^^^^ gets it.
Best way to fuck up an otherwise beautiful day.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Re: Fuck golf
It's a good drunk.
/s/
Truman
/s/
Truman
Re: Fuck golf
Any sport in which you can drink beer while doing it is great.
JPGettysburg wrote: ↑Fri Jul 19, 2024 8:57 pm In prison, full moon nights have a kind of brutal sodomy that can't fully be described with mere words.
Re: Fuck golf
And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.
Derron
Screw_Michigan wrote: Democrats are the REAL racists.
Softball Bat wrote: Is your anus quivering?
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.Derron wrote:And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.
Why isn't there any Sat AM Masters coverage?
Re: Fuck golf
They're far more cooperative if you whisper sweet nothings in their ear.BSmack wrote:So the next time you hit a ball in the sand, go yell at some sheep.
Btw, golf is a great game and Masters weekend is, like opening day of baseball, a true sign of spring. Don't like golf? Great, don't play. That way the groups playing behind you won't have to wait 20 minutes between shots while you're hacking your way to the green. A win-win for everyone.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Dude, you just blew my mind.Mace wrote:Don't like golf? Great, don't play.
Re: Fuck golf
Yeah, resting on a fairway is "in play". Tremendous "action".Dinsdale wrote:As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...
When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.

Van wrote:Kumbaya, asshats.
R-Jack wrote:Yes, that just happened.Atomic Punk wrote:So why did you post it?
Re: Fuck golf
It's all about man's quest for redemption, imagine a Bryan Adams song coming to life. It doesn't get any better than that.Screw_Michigan wrote:
Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in? What's he done since he wrapped his sled around a tree to validate picking him?Screw_Michigan wrote:Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.Derron wrote:And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.
Where is Tiger sitting right now?
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
Fanboys who want to say "TOLD YOU SO" if/when he finally does win another major.MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in?
Re: Fuck golf
socal wrote:Yeah, resting on a fairway is "in play". Tremendous "action".Dinsdale wrote:As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...
When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.
You've been assessed a penalty stroke for failure to use brain before employing keyboard.
Did you know there's a calculator included with your operating system, and probaby even on your cell phone, too?
Should I clarify and say "when the ball is moving"?
Again, it's not even a contest, and it's not even up for debate to those who passed some sort of grade school math class.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
- Felix
- 2012 JAFFL Champ
- Posts: 9271
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
- Location: probably on a golf course
Re: Fuck golf
what's with all the hate for woods?Screw_Michigan wrote:Fanboys who want to say "TOLD YOU SO" if/when he finally does win another major.MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in?
flat out, the tour is better off if he's playing well and in contention....
get out, get out while there's still time
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.
He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being. Enough said.
He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being. Enough said.
-
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29350
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
Re: Fuck golf
Increase ratings, increased attendance, increased advertiser and sponsor money...Screw_Michigan wrote:How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.
... all lead to bigger purses.
In 1996, just before Woods won The Masters, total purses were $70.7 million. By 2000, purses had more than doubled to $164.4 million. By 2008 they were $278.95 million. Since 2008, with Tiger in his worst slump ever and the 1% economy flat purses have also stayed flat at $275.5 million.
Every professional golfer who has teed it up since 1997 owes a monumental debt of gratitude to Tiger Woods. Period. The only players in history who have benefited Tour players as much or more than Tiger are Walter Hagen, for making professionalism respectable and Arnold Palmer, who moved golf into the TV age.
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
- Felix
- 2012 JAFFL Champ
- Posts: 9271
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
- Location: probably on a golf course
Re: Fuck golf
I was going to say it's because he's opened a lot of doors that were previously closed.....he's made the game much more accessible to a wider variety of people.....but Bsmack covered a lot of other groundBSmack wrote:Increase ratings, increased attendance, increased advertiser and sponsor money...Screw_Michigan wrote:How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.
... all lead to bigger purses.
In 1996, just before Woods won The Masters, total purses were $70.7 million. By 2000, purses had more than doubled to $164.4 million. By 2008 they were $278.95 million. Since 2008, with Tiger in his worst slump ever and the 1% economy flat purses have also stayed flat at $275.5 million.
Every professional golfer who has teed it up since 1997 owes a monumental debt of gratitude to Tiger Woods. Period. The only players in history who have benefited Tour players as much or more than Tiger are Walter Hagen, for making professionalism respectable and Arnold Palmer, who moved golf into the TV age.
what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious
get out, get out while there's still time
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Come on, he merely "got away from his Buddhism." Happens to the best of us.Screw_Michigan wrote:He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Who cares? He can hit a little white ball with a stick and he makes rich guys even richer. Get your priorities straight.Screw_Michigan wrote:He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
Who cares? He gives me erections.Screw_Michigan wrote:He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.
Sincerely,
BSuck, Dins
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21096
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Fuck golf
Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?Felix wrote:what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious
-
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29350
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
Re: Fuck golf
There's that too. Every Saturday at my local muni there are kids playing golf with the First Tee program. That program started in late 1997. Anybody remember what happened in April of 1997?Felix wrote:I was going to say it's because he's opened a lot of doors that were previously closed.....he's made the game much more accessible to a wider variety of people.....but Bsmack covered a lot of other ground
what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
-
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29350
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
Re: Fuck golf
Did he steal away a Perkins waitress from you?Screw_Michigan wrote:Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?Felix wrote:what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
- Felix
- 2012 JAFFL Champ
- Posts: 9271
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
- Location: probably on a golf course
Re: Fuck golf
yeah you need to spell it out...Screw_Michigan wrote:
Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?
please expound on how his actions have had a direct adverse impact on you....some specific examples would be appreciated....
he didn't ruin your marriage, he didn't harm your children, he didn't steal money from you, he didn't kick you out of your house, he didn't steal your job, and a myriad of other things that had no effect on you personally..... in short he didn't do a fucking thing to you....but I can see you're pretty upset about this...
so by all means, clue me in....
get out, get out while there's still time
-
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Re: Fuck golf
He's a horrible human being. Charlie Manson didn't have a direct adverse impact on me either. But I still feel in my gut that he's a horrible human being. Same with Tiger. Except he doesn't have Charlie's musical skills.Felix wrote:yeah you need to spell it out...Screw_Michigan wrote:
Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?
please expound on how his actions have had a direct adverse impact on you....some specific examples would be appreciated....
he didn't ruin your marriage, he didn't harm your children, he didn't steal money from you, he didn't kick you out of your house, he didn't steal your job, and a myriad of other things that had no effect on you personally..... in short he didn't do a fucking thing to you....but I can see you're pretty upset about this...
so by all means, clue me in....
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
-
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Re: Fuck golf
Yeah, you're the extremely fat little brother I never had. Sniff, sniff.Papa Willie wrote:Goober McTuber wrote:WTF?!?Papa Willie wrote:If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.
Everybody's a child to you.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
Re: Fuck golf
Funny stuff.
While some of y'all's are on such a roll, could you help me out, and remind me who is BY FAR the most charitable athlete who ever lived?
TIA and stuff.
I mean... no one here knows anyone who has ever cheated on their wife, so let's chuck those stones with abandon... right after we get done footing the $25 million bill for a school.
And I'm curious -- beside the marriage issue, what else you got? Anything? Is the the few hundred million he's given away that bothers you?
While some of y'all's are on such a roll, could you help me out, and remind me who is BY FAR the most charitable athlete who ever lived?
TIA and stuff.
I mean... no one here knows anyone who has ever cheated on their wife, so let's chuck those stones with abandon... right after we get done footing the $25 million bill for a school.
And I'm curious -- beside the marriage issue, what else you got? Anything? Is the the few hundred million he's given away that bothers you?
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Re: Fuck golf
Exactly, Dins. I'm sitting here chuckling in amusement over Screwball's and Mgo's feigned righteous indignation over the notion of a professional athlete cheating on his wife. I mean, c'mon, that shit never goes on in professional sports, right?
It's not like Michigan State's most beloved athlete of all time didn't contract the HIV virus from cheating on his wife or anything.
It's not like Michigan State's most beloved athlete of all time didn't contract the HIV virus from cheating on his wife or anything.
Joe Satriani is a mime, right? - 88
Show me your dicks. - trev
Show me your dicks. - trev