Merry Christmas Dee

[Jay in Phoenix]

Since my other thread got locked, I'll give Kid Dee Snutz his "present" here.



Dee Snutz Roasting on an Open Fire

Dee Snutz roasting on the One Board pyre
Jizz frost dripping down his nose
Infield flyrules confuse this dumb troll liar
While obsessed with Jays Christmas prose

Everybody knows this turkey likes to kneel down low
Helps to lick the semen right
Tiny tard with his eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

He knows a beat-down he can’t pass
He's loaded lots of toys and dildos up his ass
And every poster’s gonna make him cry
While he’ll continue to snivel, whine and lie

So while he’s plungering away his days
His skid-marked panties all askew
Although its been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas, fuck you...

[Mace]

:loll: Rack Jay once again! I'll do my best not to respond to the little troll in this thread, so maybe it won't get locked.

[Truman]

Likes me some Jay...

Er, remind me to stay on his "good" side...

[Dee Snutz]

You still writing moronic songs for me, Jay ? I can see you actually snorting in gleeful almond eyed, chicken wing arms flailing laughter at these embarrassingly banal attempts at humor while mashing the submit button. Actually, I don't think Patty Boyd had as many songs written about her. At least her obsessors were talented. I got a creepy, drooling, developmentally stunted weirdo in Phoenix writing at a 4th grade creativity level that's fogging his monitor with his mouth breathing. It's not difficult to understand how you have trouble discerning The Beatles from Justin Bieber having witnessed your own "talent" on parade here. Take away Google and Wikipedia, you're just a quivering jello mold staring at your keyboard like it was a fucking Rubik's Cube.

Write another song for me, weirdo.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Write another song for me, weirdo.

In time bitch...in time.

[Dee Snutz]

Write another song for me, weirdo.

In time bitch...in time.

What, you mean you need some time w your creative process ? Really? It takes longer to write that dumb shit than it does to read it? Take all the time you need, weirdo. Your dome's become my home away from home.

[Jay in Phoenix]

What, you mean you need some time w your creative process ? Really?

It figures you would be too stupid to get the joke by reference to "The Exorcist". Expected, but disappointing. You've gone from somewhat amusing to annoying to downright boring and clueless. Sad.

It takes longer to write that dumb shit than it does to read it? Take all the time you need, weirdo.

Nope, only takes a minute or two. Improvised on the spot. And hell, at least my parodies have correct metre and rhyme. They follow the song story, maintaining its structure. Your sad attempt at a limerick wasn't even in the ballpark. Learn how to construct one correctly and then get back to me. Or don't. At any rate, get over yourself Kid Gashspill. Your suckitude is beyond description.

Your dome's become my home away from home.

No, your "dome" is an encephalitic cesspool of shit infused idiocy. Try douching it out and start over felchie.

[R-Jack]

Take away Google and Wikipedia,

Take away? Hell, I'd suggest you mix in a healthy dose of both. Maybe, just maybe, then you won't use words and phrases like "banal" and "4th grade" to death like you did under your old nic.

[Dee Snutz]

Nope, only takes a minute or two. Improvised on the spot. And hell, at least my parodies have correct metre and rhyme. They follow the song story, maintaining its structure.

Did somebody just boast about their retarded, juvenile song parodies having "metre", rhyme, and being improvised?

You've gone from somewhat amusing to annoying to downright boring and clueless. Sad.

This range of emotion you're experiencing, Jay, is symptomatic of your other glaringly obvious problem, which is less concerning than your idiocy. It's called bipolar. We can fix that shit right up w some Lithium, maybe some Zyprexa, mix in some Abilify. Maybe they can cram all that shit in a Pez dispenser for you, retard.

Conversely... you had me laughing right from the onset w this one, Loser in Phoenix. Starting w the first sentence where you assert that IQ is somehow measured by movie trivia. Your confusion and inability to actually identify or comprehend what actually composes intelligence is really just more evidence of how morbidly devoid you are of it.

No, your "dome" is an encephalitic cesspool of shit infused idiocy. Try douching it out and start over felchie.

And seriously, just put away that ridiculous thesaurus. That prosthetic vocabulary in the hands of a moron like you is nothing more than clown shoes and a big red rubber nose.

Now go write me another poem, bitch.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Did somebody just boast about their song parodies having "metre", rhyme, and being improvised?

Boast? No, just stating fact. Like I said before, study a bit on how to structure a basic limerick. Yours was pretty abominable. If you have questions regarding metre and rhyme, check the dictionary or thesaurus you are so fond of referencing. Enlightenment is a good thing.

This range of emotion you're experiencing, Jay, is symptomatic of your other glaringly obvious problem. Maybe they can cram all that shit in a Pez dispenser for you.

The emotion I'm experiencing is called amusement. It is directed at your infantile attempts to access your thesaurus for your overwrought verbiage. If you wish to diagnose something, look in the mirror. What you're seeing reflected back is called "a retard". Lobotomizing yourself is the first step toward a cure. Seek it out.

Conversely... you had me laughing right from the onset w this one, Loser in Phoenix. Starting w the first sentence where you assert that IQ is somehow measured by movie trivia.

I have already recognized your innate inability to understand even the simplest of statements. I said, and I quote..."It figures you would be too stupid to get the joke by reference to 'The Exorcist'." I wasn't making a blanket assessment of intelligence as it equates to trivia. I said you were to stupid to get a simple joke. This is the unvarnished truth. And the truth is that you are a fucking moron. As you also suffer from severe aphasia, I must admit to a degree of sympathy. See above prescription for one simple lobotomy and may God bless.

Now go write me another poem, bitch

Sorry, I mustn't waste another effort on your plebeian entreaty. Forthwith, I shall forgo any further installments of rhythmic jocularity until such time as you have excised the festering tumor that represents your dull pate. I will refer further treatment of your unfortunate condition to my good friend and confidant, Dr. Marcus Welby.


Doctors Welby and Kiley examining the yellowed spinal chord of one Kid Gashspill.

Adieu and ill tidings.

Now fuck off.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Thank you Sam. It's a throwaway "gift" that comes oddly naturally.

Dee Snutzless hapless flailing about it sort of gilds that particular lily.

Le plume de me tant.*

*'The Exorcist' line that Dee doesn't get.

[Dee Snutz]

I always did my songs on the fly. All my good material was spontaneous. Never really worked on anything at length.

In the last few years, I seem to have lost my cartooning and songwriting abilities.

Oh, I doubt you "lost" your abilities. I'm sure they haven't diminished. What's probably happened is that you matured coming to the realization that retarded song parodies are really just folly for developmentally stalled out idiots like Jay who thinks he's "gifted".

Btw, thanks for the sig material Jay.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Oh, I doubt you "lost" your abilities. I'm sure they haven't diminished. What's probably happened is that you matured coming to the realization that retarded song parodies are really just folly for developmentally stalled out idiots like Jay who thinks he's "gifted".

Where exactly did I make such a statement, or express that thought? I didn't of course. I must imagine it's those psychotic delusions swilling about your diarrhea sopped brain stem which is causing your incredulous view of "reality". Again, it's such a simple matter of stabbing a razor sharp knife into your wee pin head that shall alleviate your ongoing pain. Hell, use two for a nice cross-cutting effect. Sweet relief is a couple of quick jabs away.

Btw, thanks for the sig material Jay.

Psst...hate to break it to you felchie, when you thank somebody for a sig, you normally implement it.

Yours is nonexistent, just like your mind. Now again, please fuck off .

Miroir, miroir sur le mur, qui est le plus stupide de tous ... Dee Nashville.

[Dee Snutz]

Where exactly did I make such a statement, or express that thought? I didn't of course. I must imagine it's those psychotic delusions swilling about your diarrhea sopped brain stem which is causing your incredulous view of "reality". Again, it's such a simple matter of stabbing a razor sharp knife into your wee pin head that shall alleviate your ongoing pain. Hell, use two for a nice cross-cutting effect. Sweet relief is a couple of quick jabs away.



Psst...hate to break it to you felchie, when you thank somebody for a sig, you normally implement it.

Yours is nonexistent, just like your mind. Now again, please fuck off .

Miroir, miroir sur le mur, qui est le plus stupide de tous ... Dee Nashville.

Translation:


What a fucking loser!

[Jay in Phoenix]

Seriously Dee, if that is the best you can do, then you've lost before you begun. Either change your game or get the fuck out.

Actually, just pull the plug on yourself instead. Consider it a mercy killing.

To paraphrase Bernie Taupin:

Have mercy on yourself retard
As you're running from guffaws
Are you blind to the winds of change
Don't you hear them any more

The after effect won't be pretty, but it suits you fine.

Dee Snutzless, post-lobotomized mercy procedure.

[Marcus Welby MD]

I'm not sure how you obtained a picture of Dee post lobotomy but, since you have it, I'll give you a few more details. The procedure was obviously unsuccessful, as this patient continues to demonstrate a disillusioned view of his self worth and of the reality around him. For what it's worth, what we found during the procedure was unusual, to say the least. A peculiar odor enveloped the O.R. during the procedure and we soon discovered that the source of this odor was the singeing of the massive amounts of hair in Dee's ears. This unusual event led to further testing of patient Snutz and revealed that there was a vacuum in the head, known as cranium vaccuumous, complicated by the fact that this was the first lobotomy performed during a colonoscopy and further resulted in the singeing of the patient's butt hair. We exited the smoke filled E.R. realizing that our attempts to help this poor soul were unsuccessful and wheeled him to the recovery room.

After a couple of hours in recovery, the patient began screaming out to no one in particular, "I CAN do a parady, you fucking faggot, I CAN!!!" The patient then burst into song, singing what I believe was an old Beatles song. "I'm a LOSER." Maybe our operation was more successful that previously believed. Time will tell.

I am....

Marcus Welby M.D.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Marcus, my good man, well done.

I realize that a procedure as difficult, time-consuming and disgusting, which was administered on Patient Dee could result only in ultimate failure. As you are aware my good doctor, there is no known cure for rectal-cranial inversion. The colonoscopic/lobotomy, while a breakthrough in theory, has shown to be in practice, met with most unsettling and unsavory results. As you have attested, the localized burning of the patients ear and rectal follicles did cause a most foul and nauseating odor. This, combined with the unfortunate discharge from the patients cranium was met with a mixture of shock and sickness. Had it been known that Patient Dee's "shit for brains" had manifested itself to such a horrific degree, you would have aborted the surgery post haste. The regrettable fact that the patient not only survived, but was rendered into a state of regress and retardation to such an extraordinary level, should be fair warning to all surgeons in the future, that such individuals be as mercifully anesthetized and euthanized as quickly as possible. The side effect of the patients outbursts, while somehow acknowledging his own worthlessness, might be considered a boon or bonus, does nothing to mitigate the fact that this particular, sad individual did survive.

In summation, I bow to your attempts and results. Time will indeed, tell. The surgical clock is ticking.

We must pray it does not become a time bomb.

Yours in spirit,

Doctor Jay M.D. Emeritus

[Marcus Welby MD]

Yes, Jay, the rectal-cranial inversion (commonly referred to as 'head up ass syndrome') is a very delicate procedure and I sometimes think that the time honored remedy of having the patient grab his ears and pull hard is still the best treatment for this malady. Something I failed to mention from the results of our examination and treatment was that we found a large number of semen soaked polyps in Dee's rectum, all of which were matched to DNA of members of T1B and a few extra large condoms with the monogram "J. i. P." imprinted on them. Glad to see that you're practicing safe sex when pouring the coals to some of the skanks visiting T1B.

BTW, we made a decision to not remove those polyps and to let nature take its course.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Hmm. Marcus, I believe it may be time to have your eyeglass prescription renewed. If you will examine the soiled prophylactics with a bit more care, you will notice that that initials embossed on the ribbing is in fact d.I.t. I believe that Patient Dee had recently went on an invitational hunting trip to Oklahoma. As you are aware, the backwoods near Tulsa are known for their trepadatious paths. Many a poor soul has been known to venture foolishly into those dense and foreboding woods, only to return in an apoplectic shock, their epidermous ghost white with their sphincters streched to unimaginable proportions.

It is most wise of you to leave the polyps of Patient Dee in vitro. The resultant manifistation of his anal impregnation is best left to a setting inside of the natural colonoscopic polypectomy enviroment. Be prepared my good doctor, to precipitate an abortive strike should the fetus show any signs of developing any resemblence of our own Patient Dee. One of these freaks is more than enough for this or any other world.

God speed and good luck.

[Dee Snutz]

Seriously Dee, if that is the best you can do, then you've lost before you begun. Either change your game or get the fuck out.

Actually, just pull the plug on yourself instead. Consider it a mercy killing.

To paraphrase Bernie Taupin:

Have mercy on yourself retard
As you're running from guffaws
Are you blind to the winds of change
Don't you hear them any more

The after effect won't be pretty, but it suits you fine.

Dee Snutzless, post-lobotomized mercy procedure.

I'm not sure how you obtained a picture of Dee post lobotomy but, since you have it, I'll give you a few more details. The procedure was obviously unsuccessful, as this patient continues to demonstrate a disillusioned view of his self worth and of the reality around him. For what it's worth, what we found during the procedure was unusual, to say the least. A peculiar odor enveloped the O.R. during the procedure and we soon discovered that the source of this odor was the singeing of the massive amounts of hair in Dee's ears. This unusual event led to further testing of patient Snutz and revealed that there was a vacuum in the head, known as cranium vaccuumous, complicated by the fact that this was the first lobotomy performed during a colonoscopy and further resulted in the singeing of the patient's butt hair. We exited the smoke filled E.R. realizing that our attempts to help this poor soul were unsuccessful and wheeled him to the recovery room.

After a couple of hours in recovery, the patient began screaming out to no one in particular, "I CAN do a parady, you fucking faggot, I CAN!!!" The patient then burst into song, singing what I believe was an old Beatles song. "I'm a LOSER." Maybe our operation was more successful that previously believed. Time will tell.

I am....

Marcus Welby M.D.

Marcus, my good man, well done.

I realize that a procedure as difficult, time-consuming and disgusting, which was administered on Patient Dee could result only in ultimate failure. As you are aware my good doctor, there is no known cure for rectal-cranial inversion. The colonoscopic/lobotomy, while a breakthrough in theory, has shown to be in practice, met with most unsettling and unsavory results. As you have attested, the localized burning of the patients ear and rectal follicles did cause a most foul and nauseating odor. This, combined with the unfortunate discharge from the patients cranium was met with a mixture of shock and sickness. Had it been known that Patient Dee's "shit for brains" had manifested itself to such a horrific degree, you would have aborted the surgery post haste. The regrettable fact that the patient not only survived, but was rendered into a state of regress and retardation to such an extraordinary level, should be fair warning to all surgeons in the future, that such individuals be as mercifully anesthetized and euthanized as quickly as possible. The side effect of the patients outbursts, while somehow acknowledging his own worthlessness, might be considered a boon or bonus, does nothing to mitigate the fact that this particular, sad individual did survive.

In summation, I bow to your attempts and results. Time will indeed, tell. The surgical clock is ticking.

We must pray it does not become a time bomb.

Yours in spirit,

Doctor Jay M.D. Emeritus

Yes, Jay, the rectal-cranial inversion (commonly referred to as 'head up ass syndrome') is a very delicate procedure and I sometimes think that the time honored remedy of having the patient grab his ears and pull hard is still the best treatment for this malady. Something I failed to mention from the results of our examination and treatment was that we found a large number of semen soaked polyps in Dee's rectum, all of which were matched to DNA of members of T1B and a few extra large condoms with the monogram "J. i. P." imprinted on them. Glad to see that you're practicing safe sex when pouring the coals to some of the skanks visiting T1B.

BTW, we made a decision to not remove those polyps and to let nature take its course.

Hmm. Marcus, I believe it may be time to have your eyeglass prescription renewed. If you will examine the soiled prophylactics with a bit more care, you will notice that that initials embossed on the ribbing is in fact d.I.t. I believe that Patient Dee had recently went on an invitational hunting trip to Oklahoma. As you are aware, the backwoods near Tulsa are known for their trepadatious paths. Many a poor soul has been know to venture foolishly into those dense and foreboding woods, only to return in an apoplectic shock, their epidermous ghost white with their sphincters streched to unimaginable proportions.

It is most wise of you to leave the polyps of Patient Dee in vitro. The resultant manifistation of his anal impregnation is best left to a setting inside of the natural colonoscopic polypectomy enviroment. Be prepared my good doctor, to precipitate an abortive strike should the fetus show any signs of developing any resemblence of our own Patient Dee. One of these freaks is more than enough for this or any other world.

God speed and good luck.

You're Welcome...

to all the people that would like to thank me for keeping this creepy, obsessive weirdo occupied for the last 24 hours.

Now c'mon Jay. AGAIN!!!

[Jay in Phoenix]

Doctor Welby, it appears that the patient has finally, mentally...


R.I.P.

[Marcus Welby MD]

Yes, Dee, that's the sphere we used to measure your rectum and, yes, you can keep it. There's not enough latex in the office to get anyone here to touch it again. Merry Christmas.

[Dee Snutz]

Yes, Dee, that's the sphere we used to measure your rectum

Whoa, I guess we've gotten to the the real heart of Jay's obsession.

"matured?" That's a pretty big word for a six year old like you, Snutz.

He thinks I'm a six yr old boy.

[Marcus Welby MD]

This idiot apparently thinks that everyone is Jay in Phoenix. Psychology is not my field of expertise but I think Dee might be suffering from an unhealthy obsession.

[Dee Snutz]

This idiot apparently thinks that everyone is Jay in Phoenix. Psychology is not my field of expertise but I think Dee might be suffering from an unhealthy obsession.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jay. Did I ruin your illusion of having a conversation w yourself pretending to be Marcus Welby?

And all those hours of work.

[Dee Snutz]

Hey, Jay, did you read lines w this guy while you you were scripting that magnum opus?

[Marcus Welby MD]

Dee, Dee, Dee....you have apparently forgotten the conversation we had in my office. Remember, Dee, before posting anything at T1B you should grab ears-pull hard. Doing so might save you a bit of embarrassment. Well, probably not, but it's a last ditch effort on my part to lend you a helping hand.

I am...

Marcus Welby MD

[Dee Snutz]

Dee, Dee, Dee....you have apparently forgotten the conversation we had in my office. Remember, Dee, before posting anything at T1B you should grab ears-pull hard. Doing so might save you a bit of embarrassment. Well, probably not, but it's a last ditch effort on my part to lend you a helping hand.

I am...

Marcus Welby MD

Q: What's creepier than Jay in Phoenix?
A: Two of him.

[Marcus Welby MD]

I don't believe your asshole could withstand two of Jay in Phoenix, but that's just my medical opinion.

I am...

Marcus Welby MD

[Dee Snutz]

I don't believe your asshole could withstand two of Jay in Phoenix, but that's just my medical opinion.

I am...

Marcus Welby MD

Good point. Jay in Phoenix couldn't hold down a six yr old. It might take two Jays.

[R-Jack]

It seems like Gashville's really wants this thread to turn into his version of Spartacus, where he longs for numerous oiled up half naken men proclaiming "I am Jay in Phoenix!"

[Dee Snutz]

It seems like Gashville's really wants this thread to turn into his version of Spartacus, where he longs for numerous oiled up half naken men proclaiming "I am Jay in Phoenix!"

Go back and try again. Try not to be nervous, kid.

[Marcus Welby MD]

Does anyone else think it's appropriate that Kid Nashville chose a trolling nic of Dee's Nutz and was too stupid to include the apostrophe?

[Dee Snutz]

Does anyone else think it's appropriate that Kid Nashville chose a trolling nic of Dee's Nutz and was too stupid to include the apostrophe?

Another good point.

"Dee's Nuts is in Jay in Phoenix's dome"

See what I did there, Jay?

[Marcus Welby MD]

Yes, I see what you did, Kid...oh wait, I'm Marcus Welby. Never mind, dammit, and please disregard this post.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Well Dee, at least you have clearly established a couple of salient points. First, your paranoia is off the charts. Second, you're even stupider than I first surmised. It's one thing to address the good Doctor Welby as if you think he was me. But then to confuse me with Roach is fucking hysterical. It's simple enough to see he joined the board some time before I did. In addition, his 'voice' is far different than mine. It is also a known fact that I have not and never will troll. Unlike you.

What also has been established is that the only thing which resides within your deformed and damaged dome, is layer upon layer of liquid fecal contaminant. You might want to consider giving your shit-brains a stir now and then. Your unsettling and creepy predilection for sexual contact with underage boys is abhorrent. Of course, this now brings us to your parasitic attachment to my every post. It's as if you have morphed into some god damn Guinea worm. You started very tiny and insignificant, just a microscopic larva. Now, after feeding off my thread, you've grown into a full blown parasite. Like the worm, all you want to do is feed off my words as if they were water.

Well guess what my little Guine vermis. No more water for you.

If you feel a little parched, take of sip of this:



There, feeling refreshed scumbag?

[Dee Snutz]

Now c'mon Jay. AGAIN!!!

Well Dee, at least you have clearly established a couple of salient points. First, your paranoia is off the charts. Second, you're even stupider than I first surmised. It's one thing to address the good Doctor Welby as if you think he was me. But then to confuse me with Roach is fucking hysterical. It's simple enough to see he joined the board some time before I did. In addition, his 'voice' is far different than mine. It is also a known fact that I have not and never will troll. Unlike you.

What also has been established is that the only thing which resides within your deformed and damaged dome, is layer upon layer of liquid fecal contaminant. You might want to consider giving your shit-brains a stir now and then. Your unsettling and creepy predilection for sexual contact with underage boys is abhorrent. Of course, this now brings us to your parasitic attachment to my every post. It's as if you have morphed into some god damn Guinea worm. You started very tiny and insignificant, just a microscopic larva. Now, after feeding off my thread, you've grown into a full blown parasite. Like the worm, all you want to do is feed off my words as if they were water.

Well guess what my little Guine vermis. No more water for you.

If you feel a little parched, take of sip of this:



There, feeling refreshed scumbag?

GOOD BOY!!!

Now roll over!!!

[Jay in Phoenix]

Pathetic.

[Dee Snutz]

I couldn't have said it better, Steve.

[Goober McTuber]

Congratulations, Dee. This iteration of Kid Gashville has been here for almost three full months and has not yet solicited photos of other posters’ penises. Props on your incredible restraint.