Fun things to do in Council Bluffs.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Dec 15, 2014 8:41 pm

How do you plan on making this holiday "A Very Special Council Bluffs Christmas"?

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Mon Dec 15, 2014 9:15 pm

Papa Willie wrote:It was flat. Didn't seem to be such a bad place, though.

From the top floor of the Marriott in DSM you can see the Chicago suburbs on a clear day.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Dec 15, 2014 9:40 pm

smackaholic wrote:I have to say that it was the strip club Mecca.

There's a city in the USA that has about a 2:1 advantage of tittybars per capita over the runner-up...

and it ain't in Iowa. It's a little further Up and Left.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:31 am

Dins,

I am not talking about per capita. And I am not talking about it being in a military area. I lived 4+ years in the largest military area in the country (Norfolk, VA) and the titty bars were attrocious. I am talking about a combination of surprisingly good looking strippers in clubs that were pertty much no holds barred. Overall, best strip club scene I have ever seen.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:49 am

Your vocabulary is atrocious.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:21 pm

care to expound on that statement, mop boy.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 pm

You call the Norfuck titty bars horrible, but then you call them the best you've ever seen.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:25 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:You call the Norfuck titty bars horrible, but then you call them the best you've ever seen.

You might want to take an ESL class. Because English isn't working very well as your first language.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:41 pm

I never claimed to be another Van when it comes to putting thoughts down on paper, but that is not vocabulary, you stupendously ignorant douche. Anyone with a modicum of reading comp, could decipher my admittedly clumsy paragraph.

Norfolk-huge military population/shitty titty bars. This was to address mvscal's comment

Iowa- lilly white, boring flyover country and titty bar mecca, IMO. This statement is based on my scientific field observations about 20 years ago.

Hope that clears things up for you Mr professional journalist.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:50 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:You call the Norfuck titty bars horrible, but then you call them the best you've ever seen.
You might want to take an ESL class. Because English isn't working very well as your first language.

Crack a dictionary, you ignorant cunt:

ATROCIOUS: of a very poor quality; extremely bad or unpleasant.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:52 pm

smackaholic wrote:I am talking about a combination of surprisingly good looking strippers in clubs that were pertty much no holds barred. Overall, best strip club scene I have ever seen.

Doesn't sound like you are describing a strip club scene that is very poor quality, extremely bad or unpleasant.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:53 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:You call the Norfuck titty bars horrible, but then you call them the best you've ever seen.
You might want to take an ESL class. Because English isn't working very well as your first language.

Your mastery of the english language is almost as poor as Wisconsin's hockey record.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:09 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:...almost as poor as Wisconsin's hockey record.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:09 pm

geeeebus, screwy, you are one dim bulb. those comments were in reference to IOWA, not nawfuck.

nice shot at wisky hockey, btw, but, you're still a dumb fukk.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:13 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:You call the Norfuck titty bars horrible, but then you call them the best you've ever seen.
You might want to take an ESL class. Because English isn't working very well as your first language.
Crack a dictionary, you ignorant cunt:

ATROCIOUS: of a very poor quality; extremely bad or unpleasant.

You might want to take a step back and stop shouting.

smackaholic wrote:I spent a week working in Iowa back in the early 90s. I expected it to be a complete snoozefest, but, I have to say that it was the strip club Mecca. Is this still the case?

You see, suckaholic says the strip clubs in Iowa were fantastic, but the ones in Norfolk sucked. You are a complete fucking moron with minimal language skills. Please kill yourself in the most painful way you can think of.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:18 pm

Wow, screwey has done the impossible. He has goobs defending me....sort of.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:19 pm

smackaholic wrote:nice shot at wisky hockey, btw

Talk about low-hanging fruit.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:27 pm

I will provide an edit for screwy, who is really struggling with my admittedly poor paragraph structuring.

smackaholic wrote:Dins,

I am not talking about per capita.

mvscal,

I am not talking about it being in a military area. I lived 4+ years in the largest military area in the country (Norfolk, VA) and the titty bars were attrocious.

Iowa had a combination of surprisingly good looking strippers and clubs that were pertty much no holds barred. Overall, best strip club scene I have ever seen.

Do you fukking get it now?

Wish I could resurrect Van and have him rewite it for me.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:32 pm

I had no trouble understanding what you were saying, but after almost 10 years in this sordid clambake, I have become fluent in reading Retardese.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:12 pm

Way up north in Wisconsin, in the midddle of national forest type land, in the town of Three Lakes, there was a strip club called Weasel's. They brought in talent from all over the country. Very nice place, very hot strippers. It's gone now.

A half an hour away was another north woods club called Boom Bay. Nasty, mostly local talent. The night we stopped in a stripper got up on the bar, squatted onto a full bottle of PBR, proceeded into a headstand, and drained the bottle. She then squatted over a mug, released the beer into it, and drank down the mug.

Now, that's entertainment.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:39 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Use a strong voice and lightly bop him on the snout with the palm of your hand. DO NOT use a rolled up newspaper or such.
If he keeps urinating in the same spot on the carpet, that might be an indication of a urinary tract infection.

Most importantly, you need to play with him and provide plenty of exercise.

Quite sound advice for the normal house pet. However, when dealing with a species like the Miniature Bald Weasel, especially the California variety, it does not take to instruction or house training at all.

Smacking it on the nose does help, but it usually runs away and hides behind a waving, white cloth. To calm it down, you simply find a long, black tube, which it will suckle from incessantly.

When it shits itself, which it will do endlessly, shove its nose into the droppings and sternly insist, "Bad weasel, you're a verry bad weasel!"

It will then file a frivolous motion to dismiss, as that's all it knows.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:36 pm

Moving Sale wrote:Maybe if you were a better human being you would have more self of steam and my insults wouldn't hurt so much.

You must be confusing self esteem with your queer faggot steam baths where you suck massive black cock whilst taking even more massive black cock in the ass. This would explain your simple ignorance of the English language.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:49 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Way up north in Wisconsin, in the midddle of national forest type land, in the town of Three Lakes, there was a strip club called Weasel's. They brought in talent from all over the country. Very nice place, very hot strippers. It's gone now.

A half an hour away was another north woods club called Boom Bay. Nasty, mostly local talent. The night we stopped in a stripper got up on the bar, squatted onto a full bottle of PBR, proceeded into a headstand, and drained the bottle. She then squatted over a mug, released the beer into it, and drank down the mug.

Now, that's entertainment.

Did you tip that bitch something for that little show ?

There used to be a place in Portland called the Star Theater.. these skanks would cunt fart out lit books of matches while we sat there drinking our own booze and smoking weed. Had to elude the horse cops down there one afternoon, that took some doing.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:28 am

Derron wrote:
Moving Sale wrote:Maybe if you were a better human being you would have more self of steam and my insults wouldn't hurt so much.
You must be confusing self esteem with your queer faggot steam baths where you suck massive black cock whilst taking even more massive black cock in the ass. This would explain your simple ignorance of the English language.

:doh: :doh: :doh:

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:25 am

Would somebody loan duhron their T1B lingo book?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:51 am

Derron wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Way up north in Wisconsin, in the midddle of national forest type land, in the town of Three Lakes, there was a strip club called Weasel's. They brought in talent from all over the country. Very nice place, very hot strippers. It's gone now.

A half an hour away was another north woods club called Boom Bay. Nasty, mostly local talent. The night we stopped in a stripper got up on the bar, squatted onto a full bottle of PBR, proceeded into a headstand, and drained the bottle. She then squatted over a mug, released the beer into it, and drank down the mug.

Now, that's entertainment.
Did you tip that bitch something for that little show ?

She's Goddamn lucky I didn't puke on her.

Of course I tipped her. I always tip like I've got real money. Spending 10 years working for tips will do that to you.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:47 am

R-Jack wrote:
Derron wrote:
Moving Sale wrote:Maybe if you were a better human being you would have more self of steam and my insults wouldn't hurt so much.
You must be confusing self esteem with your queer faggot steam baths where you suck massive black cock whilst taking even more massive black cock in the ass. This would explain your simple ignorance of the English language.
:doh: :doh: :doh:

I was rooting for Derron to get at least get this one. I really was.

molly · Post by **molly** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:05 am

Fun things in council bluffs?

Sex.

molly · Post by **molly** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:06 am

Wait. Is that I'm Iowa? I have a Twitter fliend in Iowa who has a crush on me. I bet he'd be fun.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:06 pm

If you promise to post a video PET (VET?) of this potential flyover booty call, I think we can scrape up bus fare.

molly · Post by **molly** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:46 pm

smackaholic wrote:If you promise to post a video PET (VET?) of this potential flyover booty call, I think we can scrape up bus fare.

Make that airfare and it's on.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:45 pm

How do we know you will fulfill your end of the bargain?

I guess we could have bri hold the airfare reimbursement. uhhh, nah, that wouldn't work.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:00 pm

smackaholic wrote:How do we know you will fulfill your end of the bargain?

Why are you so anxious to see another man getting laid? Live vicariously much?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:05 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:How do we know you will fulfill your end of the bargain?
Why are you so anxious to see another man getting laid? Live vicariously much?

I think they call it pron. It generally does involve one dude. Two or more dudes for the kinda pron screwy likes.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:14 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:How do we know you will fulfill your end of the bargain?
Why are you so anxious to see another man getting laid? Live vicariously much?
I think they call it pron. It generally does involve one dude. Two or more dudes for the kinda pron screwy likes.

Sometimes it just involves two babes, you freaking sodomite.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:48 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Sometimes it just involves two babes, you freaking sodomite.

That is almost sig worthy.

Almost.

molly · Post by **molly** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:41 pm

smackaholic wrote:How do we know you will fulfill your end of the bargain?

I guess we could have bri hold the airfare reimbursement. uhhh, nah, that wouldn't work.

You'd have to trust me.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:54 pm

You do understand that he is not just asking you to fly to Iowa to fuck your twitter friend. He's asking you to produce and post a porn video of the encounter. Are you actually up for this?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:15 pm

smackaholic wrote:I think they call it pron. It generally does involve one dude. Two or more dudes for the kinda pron screwy likes.

Her "friend" could be Irie, in which case, two or more dudes are definitely involved.