Goober Balls

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:43 pm

Goober Balls

City sidewalks, Goober street walks
Dressed stockings and pumps
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas
People laughing, men are gakking
Goober’s holes are a dump
And on every street corner you hear

Goober balls, (Goober balls) Goober balls (Goober balls)
They’re tucked away ‘neath his clitty
Tuck-a-‘nad, (tuck-a-‘nad)
Flirt with man, (flirt-with-man)
Goob can’t deny he is gay

Deer in headlights, While he pillow bites
Hope the neighbors don’t hear
All the men pull the train with their sweetheart
See him not spit, while his ass splits
This is Goober's big day
And above all this bustle you hear

Goober balls, Goober balls
They’re tucked away ‘neath his clitty
Butt-sting-ing, (butt-sting-ing) jizz-fling-ing (jizz-fling-ing)
Goob can’t deny he is gay

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:12 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:19 am

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! RACK!!!

Sin,
2003

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:27 am

Wolfman wrote:F-

Oh?

Then raise the bar, you doddering, incontinent old feeb. Maybe tell some more wonderful stories. Like... about your epic phone call to Jim Rome in 1997. Back when your dick used to work. Maybe. None of us can ever forget that.

Or tell another lawn mowing story. A story about drinking beer on Saturday when life it good? A story about doing chores or running errands.

Super.

A+

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:34 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! RACK!!!

Sin,
2003

Yeah, Mgo Blue-LightSpecial is right.

Close down the board, boys. We've seen it all. And 14 years ago at that.

What are you people doing here?

Softball Bat · Post by **Softball Bat** » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:06 pm

Hey, Playdough's little jingle was fresh in 2003, yes.

But have you looked at what this board is?
Or have you become sort of numb and assimilated to it?

Virtually every thread devolves into a Republican v. Democrat pissing match.

The Cul de Snooze has unfortunately become a self-parody at this point.

A deer comes in and posts and folks immediately jump his shit?

lol

So yeah, more reindeer.
I hope they all come in and play a lot more.

Anything to change the flow is a positive as far as I'm concerned.

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:35 pm

Moving Sale, sung to Silver Bells

Moving Sale, Midget Fail
It's Court Room time in the city,
Ring-a-ling, (ring-a-ling) tiny thing (tiny thing)
Soon all the wet backs will pay.
Angry lawyer, tiny lawyer
Dressed in shyster-ish style
In the air there's a feeling of jackass.
Black cocks swinging, midget singing
Sneering smile after smile
And on every court corner you hear,
Moving Sale, (Moving Sale) Midget Fail (Midget Fail)
This litigation's not pretty
Ring-a-ling, (ring-a-ling)
Dwarfish thing, (dwarfish thing)
Soon it will be crassness day.
Judge is named Mac, cock is real black,
Moving Sale's on his knees,
As he goes down on his blackened gavel,
Hear his mouth munch, see the judge punch
Moving Sale 'cause he's gay,
And above all this hustle you hear...
Moving Sale, Midget Fail
This time there is no more pity,
Ding-a-ling, tiny thing,
It's off to jail for the day.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Mon Nov 27, 2017 5:52 am

Rack!

Very well done. Moving Flail will mount absolutely no effective counter to that ass blistering.

Watch and see.

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:48 pm

While you all have your smack poetry carol slam, how about a little eye candy for the season . . .

Some of the hired hands - We're not just up here waiting around to pull the sled . . .

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:20 pm

Wolfman
Dumpater Artist

O prostate pee, O prostate pee
Thy blockage so unchanging
O prostate pee, O prostate pee
Thy blockage so unchanging

Not only drip when summers here
But also when its cold and drear
O prostate pee, O prostate pee
Thy blockage so unchanging

MmMmmmMmm

O prostate pee, O prostate pee
No pleasure do you bring me
O prostate pee, O prostate pee
No pleasure do you bring me

On toilet seat this prostate pee
Brings to me no joy or glee
O prostate pee, O prostate pee
No pleasure do you bring me

(sleep in heavenly, sleep in heavenly)

O prostate pee, O prostate pee
Thy blockage so unchanging
This gland is puffed like basketball
Shriveled balls I’m rearranging
On dribbling squirts I always dwell
I will not lie, this feels like hell

O prostate pee, O prostate pee
Thy blockage so unchanging

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:03 pm

Great. Well really that last one about Wolfie was a D-. Now for something decent.

And now some Christmas cards to share from santa . . .

Ho ho fukkin' ho

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:04 am

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:13 pm

Not even a poor imitation of the originals. Just sad. Please take your keyboards and smash them with a hammer.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:30 pm

Indeed, Junction, indeed.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:27 am

Glory days, well they'll pass you by
Glory days, in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

The board is humorless and you two washed-up losers epitomize it.

The deer have always been inane, you couple of bitter old maids.

Neither one of you white trash representatives do a damn thing to elevate the board. Nothing.

Junction lurks and tells himself that he's too good and smart to post. Delusional asshamster.

Dinsfail finds things on Google and then pretends that he is smart and wonderful. Farcical fuckfairy.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:50 am

Goober is in fear.

He will produce nothing.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:52 am

JCT wrote:Not even a poor imitation of the originals. Just sad. Please take your keyboards and smash them with a hammer.

Which is what I said a year ago. These grossly inferior rodents have essentially been on ignore since. They have become just another collection of anonymous shit trolls. Run by a bunch of tards that get abused under their regular nics 11 months out of the year. Poor Papa Willie was hoping for reinforcements, but they have amounted to a bucket of Screwballs.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:39 am

Shit trolls > Goober McTuber

Everyone knows that he has been battered on every board he's ever joined and is now fully dilapidated.

McTuber is worn-out and his contributions have always amounted to butt mist.

Sad Goober desperately craves approval, but it has never arrived. Things became so bad a few years ago that he relegated himself to posting semi-nudes in hopes of attracting male attention and affection.

Goober the self-outed homo,
you'll go down in history!

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:51 am

Play Doh wrote:

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:55 am

Play Doh is everyone's favorite deer.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:15 am

Poor Goober is having the score run up on him. He thinks (his first mistake) to himself, "Hey, if I post some vagina art I can get back in the game!"

Somebody please tell me that didn't really happen.

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:32 pm

Ok Santa sent me back down here to introduce a new reindeer prospect. Meet p bull.

Better watch out Plato, he'll be on your ass this year. Literally behind you in the team (you finally get out of last place), but also with the smack. Better stop half-steppin'.

Come on boy!

Merry fukkin' Christmas everyone.

And where the fuk are the other reindeer. Part of your contract with santa is to shill upxxxxx engender engaging content here for the deciders.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:34 pm

I saw Plato blowing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night

The old man fairly glowed as he fed the deer his choad
And Plato wore a foolish grin as he lapped up Santa's load

Then I saw Plato tickle Santa Claus underneath his taint so snowy white

Well the presents may be late if those two decide to mate
Plato's blowing Santa Claus all night

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 3:28 am

Goober is my bitch.

Vixen · Post by **Vixen** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:01 am

Plato wrote:Goober is my bitch.

Goober is everybody's bitch. Even the elves take turns teabagging him.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:20 pm

Anonymous shit trolls don't have bitches. Anonymous shit trolls also don't have any balls.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:53 pm

We own Goober McTuber this year.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 2:10 pm

You own nothing but the title of "Worst Reindeer Trolls Ever". And I take pleasure in the knowledge that I have undoubtedly kicked your ass up and down this board numerous times under your regular nic.

2017 reindeer trolls = nutless wonders.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 2:17 pm

This right here is what we call "a good start":

More than a hundred reindeer were killed in a single four-day period by freight trains rolling through Norway, prompting an outcry for the national railway to do more to protect animals.

In all, 110 reindeer were killed when eight freight trains plowed into herds on the tracks last week, Norway’s national railway company said. In the most serious accident, 65 reindeer were killed on Saturday when they were hit by a freight train destined for the northern town of Bodo.

“It was a blood bath,” a reindeer herder, Torstein Appfjell, 59, said in a phone interview. “I have been a herder all my life, since boyhood, and I have never ever seen anything like the scene on Saturday night.”

Mr. Appfjell said he and three other herders were notified of the accident by the railway company, Bane NOR, and arrived at the scene to find dead or dying reindeer lying across 200 to 300 yards of the railway tracks.

“Some of them had been torn up by the crash, but still they were alive hours later,” Mr. Appfjell recalled. “I saw one with a broken back, trying to rise, although it was impossible.”

Mr. Appfjell said he had shot about 15 reindeer that had no chance of survival, to put them out of their pain. Afterward, he said, he had to drink whiskey to calm his nerves.

“It hurts, because we know each and every one of our animals,” he said. “When you herd, you see things like this often and you put your feelings aside. But this particular scene will be burned into the retina of my eyes forever. Sixty-five animals in one crash — it’s a catastrophe.”

Bane NOR, the railway company, confirmed that 110 reindeer had been killed in eight accidents from Wednesday through Saturday. Thor Braekkan, a manager for the northern branch of the railway, said there were three major collisions: one on Wednesday that killed 26 reindeer, one on Friday that killed 15 and the one on Saturday that killed 65.

“We are now investigating carefully the circumstances of the warning chain, from herder to Bane NOR and then to the driver,” he said.

Such collisions are not uncommon. Since 2010, 200 to 600 reindeer have been in train-related accidents each year, the railway estimates. Last year, 2,016 animals — elk, deer, reindeer, sheep and others — were killed.

But the concentration of deaths in such a short space of time has made headlines in Norway and elsewhere in Scandinavia.

“The accident on Saturday is the largest I can recall,” Mr. Braekkan said. “I am not surprised it has gotten attention. It is a tragic event.”

Train crews are instructed to slow down in areas where migrating herds are present, and the railway was trying to find out if the motorman of the train on Saturday knew about the herd in the area.

After a spate of similar deadly collisions in 2010, Bane NOR erected fences in several areas of northern Norway, but Mr. Appfjell said that additional fencing was needed.

Silje Karine Muotka, a member of the Sami Parliament of Norway, which represents the interests of an indigenous people who are sometimes known as Lapps or Laplanders, said the community had repeatedly called on the government to erect more fences.

“The situation is unacceptable,” she told the newspaper VG.

Live Kleveland, a lawyer and spokeswoman for the Norwegian Animal Protection Alliance, an advocacy group, said it was “very critical” that the government take new steps to prevent accidents.

“Trains’ killing deer, elk and other animals has been a gruesome problem in Norway for years,” she said in a phone interview. “It is gruesome, because many animals are not killed instantly, but get bruised and suffer a long time before they are put to death, or die on their own.

“The government needs to address the situation with more fences in some places and mandatory speed reductions in other. We want digital surveillance to be implemented. Modern technology should make it simple to warn the train drivers.”

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:58 pm

Better spread out some fresh hay for the reindeer living in your dome, Goobs. Put out a salt lick too if you're feeling generous.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:18 am

This has been one of the all-time legendary board beatdowns.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 3:12 am

No, it hasn't. Just another reindeer shit troll tardfest. Christmas is over. Time to put away your ~~safe space~~ shit troll nic. You guys really suck at this.

Vixen · Post by **Vixen** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 4:18 am

That sounds like you are begging for mercy, old man. It's over when the 'deer say it's over and not when you beg for us to pull our hooves out of your ass.

Slap · Post by **Slap** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 4:18 am

The 2017 reindeer shredding of Goober McTuber will be spoken of for decades to come.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:45 pm

Vixen wrote:That sounds like you are begging for mercy, old man. It's over when the 'deer say it's over and not when you beg for us to pull our hooves out of your ass.

Mercy? Please. That would be like begging for mercy from the Dan Vogel troll. The reindeer jumped the shark a few years ago. The first reindeer trolls were creative, original and funny. The current crop are none of those things, and that's just a fact. Some misguided admin handed the passwords out to a group of tards and here we are. Might as well give you morons the keys to the president trolls, too.

Slapdick wrote:The 2017 reindeer shredding of Goober McTuber will be spoken of for decades to come.

Go fuck yourself.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Dec 29, 2017 8:55 pm

At this point, I almost feel sorry for you.

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 8:59 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:At this point, I almost feel sorry for you.

I sort of do to. Sort of.

Plato hasn't exactly represented, but the other reindeer brought the goods.

Sorry Goobs if the various lumps of coal got caught in the wax on your taint.

Better luck next year champ.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 29, 2017 11:15 pm

Bitzen wrote:Plato hasn't exactly represented

You're obviously a very dumb cunt. Like Goober.

2017: Goober's greatest humiliation. Blitzen's greatest stupidity.

Very funny.

Slap · Post by **Slap** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:27 am

Plato trolled hapless Goober McTuber into a puddle of piss. Anyone can read the thread. It's hilarious.

Call it what you want. It is effective trolling. Plato knew his target.

Blitzen is a major idiot.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:40 am

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:At this point, I almost feel sorry for you.

I'm not sure why? You should feel sorry for the original reindeer and the way their franchise has been sullied. Bunch of shit trolls running weak-ass smack and claiming BODE.

And Slappy, go fuck yourself, newbie.