T1B

And you'll still not know what you're missing. Where is this "open-mindedness" you spoke of in another thread? If pride goeth before a fall, you'll have a fairly impressive splatter pattern.

Toddowen wrote:Explain for those of us who don't know, Dins, exactly how this repulsive perversion of sacred beer was first revealed to you. How you made the connection between wheat beer and male homosexuality, and if you see any potential in converting lesbians into penis envying nymphs with this magical wheat concoction?

You know, that's a fair enough question, my one-foot-in-the-grave friend.

First, to understand the situation, you must forst understand how and where the modern American craft-brewing revolution started.

That would be in Portland, Oregon. This is beyond discussion or debate.

And due to circumstances I wasn't entirely in control of, I just happened to come-of-age when this revolution that set the standard for the rest of this country's unwashed huddled massed would strive for.

And what is, and has traditionally been the best selling "micro"(which doesn't mean what it used to) in the country?

Widmer Bros. fucking Hefweisen.


I attribute this to two things -- the marketing that SELLING OUT to a corporate giant(AB) will bring, and the unfettered gayness of those across the country who try and gravytrain the U&L as some strange source of "coolness."


Just an absolutely dreadful concoction-btw.


In my previous lifetime, I has quite a few direct business dealings with one of the Brothers Widmer(who started the American hef trend). Dude is as gay as a three dollar bill in a Unagro spring frock.

Yet you fucking homos line up to drink his spooge. Fucking ponderous. Not just his own faggot brews, but the spoils of a craze he/they started(btw-for those who have ever heard them, those radio ads with the "Widmer Brothers" are nothing of the sort...Kurt talks with a heavy lisp...:shocker:).


And frankly, not to go all Dinsdale on you(aw, who am I kidding...that's exactly what I'm doing), but really -- I've been at this, as have my homies, for a lot longer than you have. And what it boils down to, when you get down to the brass tacks -- if you happen to see the douches with their extended pinkies sitting in the brewpub, saying "well, isn't this hef just sssssspshulllll," they are INVARIABLY the Todds fags that climb into their Subaru Outbask with the Thule box on top, and an assortment of rainbow stickers in the window, and usually a selection of bumper stickers supporting all manor of gay-rights issues, such as "No on 34"(which died a few years ago), or "Marriage is for EVERYONE," or sometimes even stuff as simple as "I suck cock like Toddowen at the Neverland ranch."


So, seeing as you're following a trend, maybe you should educate yourself on the entire trend, and maybe do a little research into who you are aligning yourself with.

Fucking faggots.


Oh, and there's also that issue where wheat brews don't taste good(except to fucking faggots who find semen appetizing), and rarely come without that phenolicy, still-active-yeasty, nasty flavor. That, and the ability of wheat "beer" to produce truly epic, undeserved hangovers is unprecedented.

Rack Deschutes compared to all this faggy wannabe microasspuke

raq dins

"bwaahahaaha"

deschutes is even sucky out of the bottle

btw, subaru outback? thule box? heff?

bwahahahaa! x 2

Goober McTuber wrote:And you'll still not know what you're missing. Where is this "open-mindedness" you spoke of in another thread?

What part of "I can run to the beer store down the street and probably get ANY beer your beer-challenged region cares to produce" did you not understand?


Uhm...we've been down this road. For reasons obvious, when an "import" label(that would be you guys) is trying to make a name, they come to the Oregon Brewers Festival(and a few other U&L events...and before any of you idiots type it...shut the fuck up with that laughable "Great American Beer Fest" thing, or whatever you call it. It's a fucking commercialized joke, with the breweries that spend the most on advertising getting all the run(sup Wine Spectator). If you even care to refute this, you're too stupid to share oxygen with humans, and we'd appreciate it if you Toddowened yourself immediately, for the Greater Good....Coors Fucking Light gets a gold medal every year, for chrissake, as does Beast).


And well...since I'm Dinsdale, of course...I've been a fixture at those events for years. To the point where I hobnob with all of the reps...because I'm zyclone like that. Free promo shit is cool. So, basically what I'm saying, is that anytime anybody is, or is trying to make a name/markey splash, I'm right on the front line to hear about it. And frankly, Wisconsin will remain the joke it always has been, outside of they eyes of Wisconsinites.

Really, there hasn't been too many of the imports that overly impressed. Even though New Belgium(a truly horrendous brewery, run by incompetant douchebags who wouldn't know good beer if it dropped on their head) has attempted, time and time again, to try and buy "cred" at the big festival. Funny thing is, they come rolling in with truckloads of their swill(Fat Tire is possibly more offensive than any wheat concoction...just fucking HORRID), and rumor has it that they've bribed the organizing committee, and they gladly replace all of the blown kegs that can't be replaced with their own brand of evil. Often, by the time the events are over, Ass Tire is coming out of a large number of the taps, which is a fucking problem. The best beers usually run out the quickest(each brewery generally brings a prescibed amount, yet after the bribes, it doesn't apply to Fag Belgium), so the good stuff gets replaced with Ass Tire. And at the end of the event, often the volunteers/cool people/double-secret-insiders have no free beer left to drink that Ass Tire. The fucking horror. Now, most of those in that community are pretty fucking hardcore, discerning micro/craft fans, and besides that, they all share one universal trait...they all think that Ass Tire is one of the most offensive flavors to ever hit their palate...universally.


Yet, on this board, and elsewhere, I hear people singing the praises of Ass Tire. But hey, I guess if you've been drinking horsepiss your whole life, dogpiss provides a nice little change of pace.


Reason #1148 that we pretty much laugh and shake our heads when our inferiors start to get a little uppity.


On the other side of the coin, Stone Brewing has made a tremendous splash as an import, and their brews and reps are also very welcome fixtures at the events. And they're SoCals, who generally know shit about the finer things...but still probably more than the Flyovers.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to decide between a Mirror Pond and a Bridgeport IPA(which is known as a "Northwest-style IPA....that's right, bitches...we have out own subclasses of traditional brews...but you people will learn about that stuff in a few decades...be patient).

blew my rack before the Fat Tire blasts came.


fuk.

worst beer of all time ever in the universe. bar none

timmay wrote:deschutes is even sucky out of the bottle :lol:

btw, subaru outback? thule box? heff?

bwahahahaa! x 2

Huh?

You mean you deal with that crowd on or near Mt Bachelor?

Never would have guessed.


And I'm thinking Jubelale might have to be the instrument of my demise this evening. Damn fine beer....a true MAN's beer, that even bradhuskers would approve of.


Altough these fucking faggots would probably throw some stale bread in it, to capture that fine "wheat/semen" flavor.


Matter of fact, I believe Deschutes, being a brewery geared towards heterosexuals, doesn't even make a wheat swill. RACK them.

Fucking faggots.

timmay wrote: worst beer of all time ever in the universe. bar none

I dunno...Widmer Hef gives it a run for its money.

Although I'll still give the edge to Ass Tire -- at least Cockgargler Hef knows what it wants to be.

Ass Tire...what the fuck is that? It's not a pale, it's not an amber...it's the shit they scraped out of the janitor's sink at Coors, which they purchase in bulk.

Unbelievably dreadful shit. But a true testament to the power of modern marketing. I remember the good old days, when you actually had to make a quality product to get acclaim. Now, you merely spend a bunch on TV ads, and tell everyone it's good, while hanging fancy neon signs everywhere.

mvscal wrote:
Yeah...snort a few rails of crank and dump in every last ounce of hops you can lay your twitching mitts on.

Quite a unique "style" there.

As usual, your ignorance shines through.

Nobody, but nobody in this land of meth-pioneers snorts the shit anymore. It's all about firing the chrissy.

Glass pipe out front should have told you.

Fuck, I would think being our down-our-drains neighbor, you'd have understood this by now. Sure, you tools are douchebags, but you're usually ahead of the douchebag curve.

And what better to wash down the nasty residual flavor from smoking down a light-bulb-methpipeload, than a nice, bitter, way hopped-up brew?

mirror pond is a mildly hoppy ale compared to say an IPA, or a hybrid pale like Hammerhead. Crank would totally mess up the chemistry in most U&L brews. and deschutes brewery drug tests

/s/ who gives a flyin fuk

mvscal wrote:
One of the few beers I couldn't even get close to finishing. Just godawful.

Isn't it though?

Does Budweiser subsidize their huge maketing campaign, in a secret attempt to make Bud seem like it doesn't taste so bad?

Yet log on here, or more beer-related sites, and you'll hear absolute morons singing its praises...which makes me fear for the future of this country's craft brew industry. Hell, evenh the once-proud U&L breweries are selling out to the evil corporate entities...exceot of course Deschutes, who is striving to become an evil corporate entity.


The Glory Days of the early 90's(probably the peak), are gone. Too bad the Glory Days were long over before the rest of the country even knew they started.

Dins is right on the Great American Drunk Fest, as well as New Belgium. I grew up and spent my college (read: drinking) days in Oregon before moving to Denver. Most of the so-called great micros I've had here have been OK, but overall couldn't hold Full Sail's jock, let alone Deschutes or Bridgeport. Fat Tire gets pimped a lot because......well, I don't really know why. I wouldn't go so far as timmay and call it the worst beer ever, but it's average at best.

As far as the Great American Brew Fest, pffft. I went the first year I lived here, excited about the prospect of "thousands of beers" from all over the world, only to be assaulted by every shite product Coors, AB, and every other "Great American Brewer" was trying to peddle. Definitely not worth the $40 entrance fee, and I haven't been since.

There are some good breweries in the Rockies, but overall the U&L wins that battle.

Oh, and UNRACK the fact that I have to drive 20 miles to find the nearest liquor store that carries anything from Deschutes.

Dinsdale wrote:

The Glory Days of the early 90's

tear

gone are the days when a 16 yr old busker could walk into the brewpub on bond and get a 40oz or two of Black Butte Porter to go with a nod and a $10 bill

timmay wrote:mirror pond is a mildly hoppy ale compared to say an IPA

Like Quail Springs, for instance...probably the King of the IBU's?(Although IBUs are like wattage on stereos...you can manipulate the numbers and pretty much make them say whever you want.)

and deschutes brewery drug tests

Which also helps explain, in addition to the increased capacity, the decline in Deschutes quality over the last couple of years.

Show me a brewmaster that isn't stoned all day, and I'll show you some New Belgiumesque tasting brews. You can't have one without the other.

they dont bother the stoners. they are ALL stoners in the brew room there. they see some tard tweeking, its off to the doc's office for a whiz quiz (cram away, tweeks)

timmay wrote:
gone are the days when a 16 yr old busker could walk into the brewpub on bond and get a 40oz or two of Black Butte Porter to go with a nod and a $10 bill

Rookie. Back when I occasonally frequented the Bond Street Badasses establishment, "The Butt" only came in 22's(if I remember right...those are some hazy roadies).



Hobbes -- do they stock Jubelale anywhere? If so, you should avoid it, or risk having to get your ass in the car and head for Mecca to get every last drop that the season can provide. Pretty darn adorable shit...pretty high ABV, too. And has a lot of those...whatever they call it "secondary effects," or whatever it is called when you get the slightly different highs off booze.

the first three yrs they were open . only 40's. you must'ver missed em. they had wash off labels and you turned the old bottles in when you came back for more.


check the dinsdale U&L brew encyclopedia

Timbo, no matter how worthless you might feel(abundantly warranted), before you put the gun to your head and toddowen it up, let it be known that you're not compltely worthless --

You have permanently altered my colloquial vocabulary.

timmay wrote:whiz quiz

Awesome.

did you get the part about cramming for it?

thats my fav

timmay wrote:the first three yrs they were open . only 40's. you must'ver missed em. they had wash off labels and you turned the old bottles in when you came back for more.

Gee, I downed a bunch of Butt, and my memory failed.

Imagine that.

I think my first adventure there was in 90 or 91...one of those. I think that was "early days." I know it was back before they distributed bottles, and was only available there(short-lived after that). Took a few back to Portland, and said "hey guys...get a load of this shit."


They probably OWE me for their explosion in popularity that ensued shortly thereafter.

yup they'd fill it up with brew and stamp the generic label with beer name. off you'd go.

just growlers these days if you want it straight from the nipple

Dinsdale wrote:Hobbes -- do they stock Jubelale anywhere? If so, you should avoid it, or risk having to get your ass in the car and head for Mecca to get every last drop that the season can provide. Pretty darn adorable shit...pretty high ABV, too. And has a lot of those...whatever they call it "secondary effects," or whatever it is called when you get the slightly different highs off booze.

Sadly, I have never seen it here. However, this thread has put me on a quest to find it. I wonder, though, if as you say, it wouldn't be wiser to give up the search so that I'm not left pining for more. Is there any risk of getting the shakes and being huddled in a corner muttering, "Jubelale, Jubelale, Jubelale" once it's gone? If so, I'd better continue in semi-blissful ignorance.

it is one of those brews that have narcotic-like effects on the brain

shit maybe they are putting some dope in it?

timmay wrote: just growlers these days if you want it straight from the nipple

Really?

Maybe the glory days of the growler are returning?

Damn, I remember being well short of 21, and going down to McMenny's and filling up either a mason jar, or even a freaking milk jug with Terminator. I think it was about $11 back then for the full gallon, but that's when Term was still Term, and not the weatered down, sub-%5.0 crap they sell now.


Good times.

I am so gonna guzzle a bunch of Mirror ponds tonight after this

Hobbes wrote:Is there any risk of getting the shakes and being huddled in a corner muttering, "Jubelale, Jubelale, Jubelale" once it's gone? If so, I'd better continue in semi-blissful ignorance.

If so, it's a seasonal -- you won't be suffering alone.

Excellent, excellent winter brew.


Dunno if you can mail-order(might be some legal issues) but of anyone can help, these guys can --

http://www.johnsmarketplace.com/

Then again, maybe Colorado has such places, that will get you anything(two best ones around here are both a few minutes drive for me...booyah). I seem to remember mvscal saying he had access to such a place, but I don't know if they have that sort of thing everywhere.

timmay wrote:I am so gonna guzzle a bunch of Mirror ponds tonight after this

Dude...there was like almost a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground this morning. Well, maybe not quite a quater of an inch, but there was some. First time I've seen snow on the ground here in the lowlands in about 3 years.

If that doesn't call for a winter seasonal, I don't know what does.

Jubel.

Jubel.


Oh, and if you miss the Deschutes, Hobbes, then you probably don't even want to know about Cinder Cone...you'd be much too depressed about missing out on the Nectar of the Gods. A freaking red, no less. Only deece red I think I've ever had.

does belmont station rate? I know you don't like the 'Horse's Ass'

Smackie Chan wrote:I might be willing to put up a little bit of a fight over this Cranberry:

Rack.

The Cranberries are the shiznizzle.

I don't care what the homos say.

Applejack is the one place I can think of that would do this, but it involves the aforementioned 20 mile drive. Still, I think I may make some phone calls tonight to see if I can find a closer option that will order for me. I've got the jones now.....

timmay wrote:does belmont station rate? I know you don't like the 'Horse's Ass'

Is that the place that used to be called Belmont's?

If so, haven't been since my bud lived off Hawthorne, years ago. Back then, it was a metal club, with brawls a-plenty.

As far as the Horse's Ass -- I'm a real, genuine authentic Limey(well, kind of). I don't need to pretend, nor sorround myself with pretenders. I have no desire to be English, only American. Apple doesn't always fall too far from the tree, though...except I'm sporting 32 original-equipment teeth.


Matter of fact, my folks(the immigrants) weren't really down with trying to establish an "English Community," any more than it's right for the mexicans to do it. Sure, they had plenty of transplant contacts...how else would one get decent/real bangers or meat pie without connections...but as far as surrounding themselves/myself with English people and/or English wannbes...that's what fucking England is for.


And I'll still whup all those posuers' asses in darts.

Dinsdale wrote:Uhm...we've been down this road. For reasons obvious, when an "import" label(that would be you guys) is trying to make a name, they come to the Oregon Brewers Festival(and a few other U&L events...and before any of you idiots type it...shut the fuck up with that laughable "Great American Beer Fest" thing, or whatever you call it. It's a fucking commercialized joke, with the breweries that spend the most on advertising getting all the run(sup Wine Spectator). If you even care to refute this, you're too stupid to share oxygen with humans, and we'd appreciate it if you Toddowened yourself immediately, for the Greater Good....Coors Fucking Light gets a gold medal every year, for chrissake, as does Beast).


And well...since I'm Dinsdale, of course...I've been a fixture at those events for years. To the point where I hobnob with all of the reps...because I'm zyclone like that. Free promo shit is cool. So, basically what I'm saying, is that anytime anybody is, or is trying to make a name/markey splash, I'm right on the front line to hear about it. And frankly, Wisconsin will remain the joke it always has been, outside of they eyes of Wisconsinites.

I checked out your Oregon Brewers Festival, and in the past five years how many Wisconsin brewers have bothered to show up there? Two. Lakefront Brewery and Sprechers. I don’t know a whole lot about Lakefront, but they do make a pumpkin beer so I’m sure they fit in just fine at your faggy little brew-ha-ha. Sprechers is better known for making a fairly decent root beer.

If a microbrewer is trying to “make a name/markey splash“, they’re probably getting ready to seriously increase their production while coincidentally downgrading their quality. I'll be quite happy if my favorite local micros never take that step. Funny thing, at my local big box liquor store, it’s pretty hard to find any Oregon microbrews. California, Colorado, even one from Delaware, I believe. And lots of very good regionals. But no love for the U&L.

I’m fairly certain that most of the beers I drink you’ve never heard of, certainly never tasted, and don’t have a prayer of finding anywhere near where you live. Not terribly open-minded of you to pass judgment on something you’ve never experienced. Not terribly surprising, either.

And I’m pretty sure we kick your ass when it comes to cranberries and ginseng. Don’t even get me started on bicycle paths.

im so out of my league here im going home cuz this ish is too top drawer upper-crust

if this is what u call "smacking" im so done. for cereals.

Keep em' coming! wrote:im so out of my league here

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

stop being a mean bean. i never said shit about u posting 3050 times for no reason be fair

as far as surrounding themselves/myself with English people and/or English wannbes...that's what fucking England is for.

That'll come as news to England's immigrant population. Not that they give a fuck.

I've always found Sam Adams beers to be overrated and disappointing. I bought the Octoberfest and struggled to drink one of them. The rest have migrated to the back of the fridge, waiting to be pawned off on my brother-in-law.

I had Flying Dog's "Tire Biter Ale" and didn't like it at all. Bleah.

As for Wisconi, a few random thoughts:

I've tried a good number of beers from Capital Brewery and liked the Wisconsin Amber the best, the brown ale the least.

Central Waters in Junction City produced some decent beers, but I don't know if they are still in business. Their Horicon Pale Ale was really pretty good.

I like the root beer from Point Brewery, but try as I might, I don't enjoy their beers.

I've tried some of the New Glarus brews -- "Spotted Cow" comes to mind, but have not found them very memorable. Same for the brews from Grays in Janesville.

I bought a sixer of Huber Premium just to support the brewery, but the beer was bland and lacking carbonation.

City Lager from La Crosse not only tastes bad, but does bad things to my digestive tract. It rivals the effects of the old Walter's beer out of Eau Claire. I was bummed, because I'd like to support the brewery and I used to buy Old Style all the time while in college.

My faves are still from England: Anything from Fullers or Sammy Smith, but the beer I buy most often is Summit's Extra Pale Ale, which kicks the ass of anything brewed in Oregon.

:cry:

Rack Fester.

Sam Adams? Not bad, but pretty fucking overrated. I figure if I'm willing to shell out the cayshe for what Sammy is asking for, I'll just go with one of my (much, MUCH better) local microbrews.