Strategy

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:37 pm

Saw a few minutes of France vs. Spain.

Whenever Spain had the ball, they'd advance it a few feet and when pressured, kick it backward to one of their teammates.

There were openings to just take off on a mad dash toward the opposing goal, but they seemed to want everyone to go down the field together.

So the ball went:

forward
back
forward
back
forward
back
etc.

When they finally got the whole clump of soccer players about halfway downfield, they'd kick it back to the defenseman (or whatever you call him), and then that guy would BOOT THE BALL FIFTY YARDS DOWNFIELD TO THE OTHER TEAM.

ALL OF THAT DINKIN AND DIVING ONLY TO GIVE IT UP FOR A FLOATING FIFTY YARD PASS.

GODDAMMIT IT ALL TO HELL, JUST RUN THE SILLY THING DOWNFIELD AND KICK IT IN THE GIANT NET.

IT'S A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE!

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:29 pm

You forgot about the time a defender kicked the ball away and the guy rolled around on the ground for five minutes was taken off on a stretcher and promptly sprinted back into the "action".

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Jun 28, 2006 11:32 pm

I'm with you, fester.

I don't dislike the game, I'm just confused by it. And since I don't fully understand it, I try not to knock it. But SERIOUSLY! Why do they spend so much time moving the ball backwards? Are they conserving energy? Are they trying to set up the triangle offense?

socal · Post by **socal** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 12:34 am

More often than not teams pass back in order to retain possession. You're also making the defending team chase the ball which lowers their stamina for an attack. There are no downs, no shotclock, no backcourt violations, so use the whole field.

Fester, not every play in the NFL is here I come, three yards and a cloud of dust. Does a QB not drop back in order to pass forward? Not every UFC psycho goes straight ahead, full-throttle. Do you not first pull the tab on your precious Hamms back in order to open the can and sample its sweet elixir? Why begrudge soccer?

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:05 am

socal wrote:Do you not first pull the tab on your precious Hamms back in order to open the can and sample its sweet elixir? Why begrudge soccer?

Word.

Or take from the back that can of Hamms that's just a few degrees cooler than the poor, innocent tins of silver in front that have been disregardingly warmed by the casual opening and closing of the fridge door by visiting second-cousins from North Dakota. Elemental, friends, elemental.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:50 am

the words hamm's and sweet elixir should never be contained in the same post, never mind same sentence.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:21 pm

smackaholic wrote:the words hamm's and sweet elixir should never be contained in the same post, never mind same sentence.

I shivered and tingled as I pulled out and drained my sweet elixir onto her two hamm's high in the air.

Back to the topic at hand...

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 5:18 pm

More often than not teams pass back in order to retain possession.

Yeah, I get it. So why work your ass off to retain possession for five minutes just so some yahoo can ultimately punt the ball 40 yards downfield and LOSE possession? It makes no sense.

All that endless diddling around and then the goalie or defensive guy just boots it into the air. Ponderous.

Soccer has got to be the most maddening and frustrating sport to watch of all time.

socal · Post by **socal** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:13 pm

Try playing it.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:35 pm

A heart attack would ensue. Me thinks Fes will stay on the couch and drink Hamm's.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:01 pm

I have played soccer. It's something to do I guess and it's better than watching it.

I'll take the argument, "You should watch soccer because the players have good cardio," under advisement.

Sounds a lot like something I'd hear from the old Ultimate Frisbee troll.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 10:40 am

Fess, in your battering of "proper" **snicker** football, you have yet to bring up the point that Hamm's consumption during the game, is really rather difficult, whereas real football, though not as beer friendly as say bowling or softball, can still be done.

I need to go into marketing. I am convinced an advertising campaign extolling these virtues would have everyone on that miserable cold damp rock from nish to the queen herself, wearing a wrist thingy and paying a months salary on one of them hopped up al lou minny um bats.

It only makes sense. The english are known primarily for their considerable drinking talents. Why, they are at this moment drinking germany dry. This is some feat as the gerries, no drinking slouches themselves, have been trying to do this for centuries.

Actually, there is an exception to this rule as there usually is with most rules. He's called the goalie. You can't tell me that the english net tender doesn't have a few pints somewhere down there behind one of the posts. Were I him, I'd have a 30 pack, atleast. I'd say goalie is second only to wednesday night beer league dude in the beer friendly category. Softball right fielder is a close third.

What would be the least beer friendly position in the sports world? I'll go with formula 1 driver. neckcar dude isn't even top ten except maybe at bristol or a road course.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:20 pm

I once waterskied barefoot at night wearing an empty 12-pack box on my head. I was not able to hold actual beerage in my hand at that point as I was going 40 mph, but the box seemed an adequate homage.

The Walter's Brewery (RIP) of Eau Claire Wisconsin was still in business at that time. Sigh.

I remember also drinking something called "Red Dog" during that weekend and being subsequently nicknamed that by some of our bikini-clad female companions.

What a weekend. I made a step-off wearing only a swimming suit, which can be hard on the nuts, and my friend did a two-ski barefoot bombout wearing an orange fukking lifejacket in front of a pontoon boat full of girls.

Those were the days.

You So-Cal fukkers don't know what you are missing in Northern Wisconsin.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 2:13 am

Uncle Fester wrote: You So-Cal fukkers don't know what you are missing in Northern Wisconsin.

hypothermia and women in real bad need of a shave?

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 2:38 am

smackaholic wrote:the words hamm's and sweet elixir should never be contained in the same post, never mind same sentence.

You beer snobs crack me up!

sin,

War Wagon