I hate the campus. It's not that pretty. The roads are pavement. The buildings are brick. Last I heard the candles in the grotto were made of wax. The way they talk about it, I expected rivers of chocolate, trees made of cinnamon sticks growing candied apples picked by singing Tahitian dwarves enslaved by a tall guy with good teeth and a tall hat.
I hate the students. All 4,000 of them show up to the game in the same stupid green t-shirt that bears the photos of the Four Horsemen and says "RETURN TO THAT TIME BEFORE I WAS ALIVE WHEN WINNING EIGHT GAMES WAS CAUSE FOR MASS CONSUMPTION OF INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH DRAIN CLEANER" or some crap like that. I hate the fact that the girls yell "Go Irish!" in such an ear-piercing tones it makes me wish my ears were equipped with a high-pitch band reject filter.
I hate the fact that 75% of them couldn't name the starting five on the men's basketball team, but they can tell you the helmet size of their true freshman backup gunner on the scout team's punt coverage unit.
I hate their fans. I hate when they say "I'm from Bangladesh, so I like Notre Dame" or "My dog's previous owner was Catholic, so I like Notre Dame".
I hate the fact that they haven't won a national championship since before most of them were catheterized, yet they continue to bring it upeven after you just waxed them 41-16 on their home field.
I hate the fact that they cried during Rudy. There are stories occurring every day at deaf high schools around the country better than Rudy, yet we have to watch a long-winded movie about a Bangledeshi midget with the foot speed of a heavily sedated three-legged yak whose dog's previous owner was Catholic and so he grew up wearing a Notre Dame letter jacket, talked to an old bald guy and had his dorky friends chant his name so he could get playing time against the Angry Lepers of Southwestern Nebraska School of Appendectomy Surgery and Haiku Poetry.
I hate their stadium. It's nothing special. It seats 80,000. It didn't wake up any echoes when I walked in. Wrigley Field gives me goose bumps. Notre Dame Stadium gives me sneezing fits.
I hate the bloody leprechaun that prances the sidelines like a Penn State flag boy wearing capri pants. I want to back over him with the Special. I'd like to beat his head against the World's Largest Drum.
I hate the tailgating scene at ND. I've seen shorter lines for Port-A-Lets at Kid Rock concerts. I've seen better spreads tailgating at IU and Northwestern.
I hate NBC. I hate Sunday Night Football on NBC.
I hate John Madden for being on NBC. I hate 2:30 kickoffs. Play at noon or 3:30 like everyone else. I hate the fact that my cable company doesn't even carry NBCHD.
I hate Charlie Weis. He's arrogant and overrated. I'm sorry, but when your team lays an egg at home against the first truly good team they play, you're not Yoda. When Michigan State is pasting you before John L. Smith pulls a John L. Smith and hands you the game, you're not even Jabba. Jabba had Carrie Fisher in a bikini and chains. Weis couldn't get Rosie O'Donnell in spandex.
I hate how those window- licking morons in South Bend anointed him after one good season and completely forgot the fact that Ty started out pretty hot too.
I hate the fact that his profile from his forehead to his gut is a straight line.
I hate the fact that he's taller lying down than he is standing up.
I hate the fact that his offensive line rolls him out of the tunnel and onto the sideline like that fat kid from Hook.
I hate Lou Holtz, the commentator, and how even though he coached at other schools afterward, he still jocks ND. I hate Lou Holtz, the coach, for going into Purdue's locker room after pummeling us in the 80's and telling Lani Paleli that if he wanted to come to Notre Dame, hewould still take him (even though he played for Purdue).
I hate Lou Holtz, the old wrinkly author and his "motivational speeches".
I hate that he seems drunker than Harry Caray (rest his soul!) at 9pm during a day-night double-header when he's stone cold sober.
I hate all the talk about their schedule. They wouldn't be that great in the Big 10 and they know it. They would be like Penn State: just another good team. They would struggle to play their Big 10 teams, USC and still squeeze in all the service academies and retirement center rec squads they manage to eke on to their schedule so they can be bowl-eligible every year.
I hate the fact that even though their schedule is no harder than any SEC, ACC or Big 10 team plays year in year out, we have to hear about how hard it is to play Michigan, Purdue, Michigan State and USC EVERY STINKING YEAR!!!!!!!!! Never mind MOST Big 10 teams play Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue, Wisconsin, and Iowa week in, week out, without benefit of scheduling them as they see fit.
I hate the fact that after several seasons, DaveK continues to sucker people with his Notre Dame comments. I hate the fact that people get all in a twist about every mention of Jeff Al- Zarqawihoushmanzadehokoyepolamaluzibikowski's name on our board.
I really, really hate Notre Dame, but that's just me.
DeWayne Walker wrote:"They could have put 55 points on us today. I was happy they didn't run the score up. . . .
This guy is ragging all over ND for not having won anything since he's been alive, then he props the Cubs, of all teams, who haven't won anything since his grandparents have been alive?
x infinity right there.
War Wagon wrote:The first time I click on one of your youtube links will be the first time.
kind of funny i guess. though, i don't think the ACC is as tough as he does. and most of the SEC plays patsie OOC schedules.
but, really, if he's making fun of Jeff Samardja by calling him Al-Zarqawi etc.....that's just stupid and more than a little bigoted. Samarjda is a very good player. why not just call him a camel jockey or sand mvscal? for whatever reason he's apparently dreamed up since Samardja has a "funny" last name that doesn't jive with his small minded honkey world.
Terry in Crapchester wrote:Let me see if I've got this straight:
Wrigley Field gives me goose bumps.
This guy is ragging all over ND for not having won anything since he's been alive, then he props the Cubs, of all teams, who haven't won anything since his grandparents have been alive?
x infinity right there.
And complains about how NDU is brick, and pavement, and uses candles etc.............but LOVES Wrigley? lol......
Points deducted for using Bangledesh, and dog's previous owner references twice.
MAJOR fucking points deducted for clowing on the ND campus when the guy is from PURDUE, quite possibly THE ugliest campus in the country.
"Our staff is going to ensure that anyone who attends this University and wears the Indiana uniform will make this privilege among their highest priorities and not treat the opportunity as an entitlement,'' Crean said in a statement. "We fully expect our student-athletes to accept the responsibilities academically, athletically and socially that come with representing one of the top programs in college basketball history."
x infinity right there.
