"Lite" beer drinkers, a few questions...

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:46 pm

1. How on Earth can you drink that shit?
2. WHY?
3. Do you ever just resort to urine? Is there a perceptible difference?

Seriously...once you commit to drinking "lite", do your Frank and 2 Beans snap off in protest?

Avail me of your reasoning, dipshits

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:50 pm

Light beer is only good for drinking in mass quanities when all sense of taste and perception is going to be lost anyway.

You know, like tonight when I go my buddy's bachelor party.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:50 pm

Watching some ball over at my buddy's last night, and his wonderful daughter was kind enough to offer to get us beers from the fridge in the garage, bless her little heart.

I magine my shock and horror when she returned with a Coors Light.

I think now that she's nearing puberty, it might be time for "the talk."

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:55 pm

Light beer is a microcosm of the pussification of America --

Some sackless dweeb, sitting around in his wifebeater('round these parts, we call those a "gunshow" - btw), drinking a diet beer, smoking a diet cigarette, watching Louisville and WVU play diet football...yet he still has 50 pounds of gut hanging over his belt.

Da' horrah'.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:55 pm

You know, like tonight when I go my buddy's bachelor party.

Does a semen shower come in "lite"?

Will you also forego pasties?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:56 pm

drinking a diet beer

needs foregoing

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:56 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
You know, like tonight when I go my buddy's bachelor party.
Does a semen shower come in "lite"?

Will you also forego pasties?

Beer snobs can ruin a party. Seriously, just STFU and drink will ya?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:57 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
You know, like tonight when I go my buddy's bachelor party.
Does a semen shower come in "lite"?

Will you also forego pasties?

I was gonna go with "do they make a cardboard cake to jump out of in your size?"

Same smell.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:00 pm

BSmack,

If I'm going to give the liver a workout, it needs to COUNT. Why pass liquids that resemble urine going in?

You pay MONEY to be treated this way?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:02 pm

PSUFAN wrote: If I'm going to give the liver a workout

Nice Kick!

Sin
Dinsdale's Liver

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:03 pm

I didn't say "scouring".

I thought it was IMPLIED.

Repent, ASSES.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:05 pm

When asking someone if they want a "light" beer, you should be referring to serving them a lager, ipa, pilsner, etc as opposed to a stout, porter or other "dark (sup vic?)" variety.

The only acceptable time to drink "light" beer is when no other booze is available.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:07 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:ipa

IPA counts as a "light" in your world?

I wanna party with you, Cowboy!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:09 pm

Oh, fuck...it's friday. I will be visiting a certain worksite, and since it's friday afternoon, beer will be served.

If they break out any form of diet beer, I'm going to have to "educate" some motherfuckers upside their head.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:12 pm

BSmack will be right over with a calorie-free swimmersoaking.

BTW...is it a coincidence that most "lite" beers are Twistoffs? Wouldn't want to seal the product off from the balsa-wristed.

What part of "beer" didn't you freaks understand?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:13 pm

PSUFAN wrote:BSmack,

If I'm going to give the liver a workout, it needs to COUNT. Why pass liquids that resemble urine going in?

You pay MONEY to be treated this way?

Then why don't you just go all the way and mainline shots?

We all have our different tastes and paces. Like I said, lite beer is for mindless intoxication. The darker stuff is for slower paced drinking. You know, like when you're out after work knocking back a few with the guys but you know you have to drive home. My take is, why waste money on good beer when you're not going to taste the shit anyway?

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:13 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:ipa

IPA counts as a "light" in your world?

I wanna party with you, Cowboy!

Dins,
I'm talking about color, compared to stouts or porters.

Gonna have to think about the party invite.

Sin,
TWIS's still functioning liver.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:16 pm

Sam light is the only diet beer I will actually hand money over for. I will drink others if it is above 97 degrees, I'm in the sun, I'm really thirsty and it's free.

I made the mistake once of ordering a pitcher of mic "ultra". If I ever come across the marketing fag that came up with that name, I will beat the 8 dollars out of him that it cost me, plus interest.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:17 pm

I'm talking about color

It it Juneteenth again?

--Indy

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:19 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:Dins,
I'm talking about color, compared to stouts or porters.

Yeah, I suppose...I guess.

IPAs are pretty light when compared to cold tar, as well.

Fairly light-colored when compared to Cinder's Last Tooth.

But other than that, I'm thinking that most IPAs are pretty sturdy.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:23 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
IPAs are pretty light when compared to cold tar, as well.

Let's keep Cinders meatcurtain discharge out of it umkay?

Dinsdale wrote:Fairly light-colored when compared to Cinder's Last Tooth.

So's the Jolly Green Giant, but I ain't going there.

Dinsdale wrote:But other than that, I'm thinking that most IPAs are pretty sturdy.

Agreed, like a nice hearty sandwich on pumpernickel bread.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:24 pm

Cinder's Last Tooth

Go Waterpik™ on something your own size.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:26 pm

Agreed, like a nice hearty sandwich on pumpernickel bread.

Did BB go "Black Like Me"?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:26 pm

What's the point of going out and finding a nice, fat, juicy dick, when I'm just going to suck it off and eat the jism in two minutes anyway? I might as well just go ahead and suck Dick Light.

Sin,
BFag

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:28 pm

I honestly think most people just don't know any better. Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, etc., all happen to be the #1 beers the television tells you to drink -- so that's precisely what all the clueless dumbfucks do.

Yeah, I'm sure there's no correlation at all with billions of marketing dollars and lite beer drinkers. Nope. I'm sure they've all chosen the lite route because it's a more "economically sound" choice, and because of the "obviously" greater health benefits. Yup, because every lite beer swiller I see is in tremendous physical shape.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:28 pm

I'm on a diet. See you boys at tugjobs.com.

--BUltra

Ucant#-463,721 · Post by **Ucant#-463,721** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:29 pm

Yippee!

A "you aren't cool because you don't drink what I drink" thread.

.
.
.
.

I think I'll go to .Net and bump the "This sordid clambake sucks horsecocks" thread to wash the soil from my underwear.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:30 pm

PSUFAN wrote:I'm on a diet. See you boys at tugjobs.com.

--BUltra

Leave your homoerotic google searches out of it.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:31 pm

Hate on the Tool, not the Experiment, piss-swiller.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:32 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Hate on the Tool, not the Experiment, piss-swiller.

Damn, you convinced me. I'll never drink lite beer again because some guys on a bbs think it's "not manly".

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:33 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I honestly think most people just don't know any better. Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, etc., all happen to be the #1 beers the television tells you to drink -- so that's precisely what all the clueless dumbfucks do.

Dude...you're talking about a demographic that takes literally the advice of beer commercials to decide what activities are "manly."

Nevermind this "manly" advice comes from the likes of a toupee-wearing has-been, and a balding professional wrestler, and...

Egad, I can't type any more without getting nauseous. I'll just leave it at "light beer sucks more dick than BSmack at BSmack's gay wedding."

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:34 pm

What are you going to do tonight when the stripper's genitals are descending onto your nosebridge?

Will you fondle your "Silver Bullet" and perplex her with your pleasured bleatings?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:35 pm

BSmack wrote: Leave your homoerotic google searches out of it.

PSU...you have the keys to this sordid clambake...I still advocate a madatory timeout for anyone who drops "I know you are, but what am I?" or any of its variants as a reply.

Manlaw?

Ucant#-463,721 · Post by **Ucant#-463,721** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:36 pm

Place

sordid clambake

Just checking....

Excellent auto-correct feature.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:37 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
BSmack wrote: Leave your homoerotic google searches out of it.
PSU...you have the keys to this sordid clambake...I still advocate a madatory timeout for anyone who drops "I know you are, but what am I?" or any of its variants as a reply.

Manlaw?

Irony abounds.

sin

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:38 pm

Imagine my SHOCK as nakedly inept retorts mar the soundwaves thick about the heads of the UltraBurpers.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:42 pm

I'll drink lite beer. That's not the issue. It certainly blows, but what blows more is turning down free beer, of any kind.

The issue is...why would I pay for it...with my own money?

Then again, that's not an issue, because I'm not a fucking idiot.

In most societies where homes, office buildings, and power lines exist, the non-lite swiller isn't exactly thought of as any sort of beer "snob." I'm not really one to buy the $9 pints of 14% alcohol-type brews, which were imported from countries that don't have existing governments, but I certainly will not stand for anything below 5% ABV.

Why go 4.2% when you can go 5...? For a few more cents?

Why, oh WHY?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:44 pm

I'll drink lite beer. That's not the issue.

You could marry mvscal for free, too. You just CHOOSE not to.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:51 pm

OK, STOP.

UrineMaven wrote:

what the fuck possessed you to post THAT?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:56 pm

PSUFAN wrote:OK, STOP.

UrineMaven wrote:
what the fuck possessed you to post THAT?

Could be that it was Dinsy arguing against lite beer by citing a theme FROM A LITE BEER COMMERCIAL.

Or maybe I just knew you have a secret hankering to be in the middle of a Burt Reynolds-Jerome Bettis "Man Sandwich".

T1B

"Lite" beer drinkers, a few questions...

"Lite" beer drinkers, a few questions...

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