Bad news guys...I hate to do this, but I'm out

[DC Smackmaster]

...OF PATIENCE FOR DRIED UP OLD SMACK ARTISTS LIKE JAY IN PHOENIX!!!!

THIS OLD HACK IS GOING DOWN BABY! DOWN!

PUT THIS SHIT IN STONE!

I AM A BLACKHOLE OF SMACK ENERGY RIGHT NOW. I HAVE DONE NOTHING THIS WEEKEND BUT MEDITATE ON MY ROOF. I PISSED AND SHAT IN MY BRITCHES, I HAVE FASTED, I AM ONE, CLEAR IN MIND, PINPOINTED LASER LIGHT, BAD-TO-THE-MOTHERFUCKING-BONE.

JAY. YOU ARE MINE. I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.

.

I have a gift certificate for $25 in Omaha Steaks for anyone placing a picture of Jay in Phoenix in my pm box, stat!

[Brock in Va Beach]

Freaking incredible. I was opening this prepared to rant about closing it down.

[PSUFAN]

rack DC

[RadioFan]

Beautiful timing, DC.

[smackaholic]

I got an old navy buddy from phoenix. His middle initial is J. He's a sawed off runt philipino cocksucker lawyer. So, he probably couldn't pass for jay though.

I'd settle for a happymeal certificate.

I'll link you a pic from his law firm if you'd like.

All I know about jay is I think he's a chopper pilot. You ought to be able to work that into something.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Nope, not a chopper pilot. Been in enough of 'em though.

By the way DC, my soul is sort of a melange of black oil and overwrought saccharine, with just a sprig of strychnine.

Not exactly tasty.

Eat it up however.

Just remember the bromo.

[War Wagon]

pssst, hey DC.... if you can relate a story or two about having witnessed some UFO's, that's bound to get Jay all worked up and may put him off his game.

Or not.

[Mikey]

$25 at Omaha Steaks is just about enough to get you the first chunk on a shish-ka-bob.

[smackaholic]

might get you the first chunk of bell pepper and maybe a slice of onion.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Nope, not a chopper pilot. Been in enough of 'em though.

Would you say most chopper pilots are gay or just the ones you've been in?

[Felix]

Nope, not a chopper pilot. Been in enough of 'em though.

Would you say most chopper pilots are gay or just the ones you've been in?

TWIS lobs a "high and tight" one at JiP's left ear......

[War Wagon]

TWIS lobs a "high and tight" one at JiP's left ear......

Above, Twizzler's just limbering up for our tilt...

Below, Wags awaiting Twis next meatball.

[DC Smackmaster]

Fine! I'll put the $25 into a gift card that can be redeemed at the establishment of your choice. If there isn't a Chippendale's in your 'burg Mikey, well, you're just shit outta luck and will have to grin and bear your Omaha Steak nugget. Let's keep in mind, all you are required to do is place the picture you have of Jay in Phoenix into my pm box. I actually only need a profile shot now. Thanks "Anonymous Jay Hayta", a card will be in your PO Box soon.

Just remember the bromo.

Look Jay, this is the Smackoff, I'm not going to be susceptible to your psychological warfare. Trying to make me associate you with my grandfather via product placement will garner no mercy. Let's cut to the chase. I know you're an old dude, it's not a problem for me. I'll try and keep videos and colored pictures to a minimum. If you want me to use the large font feature it's not an issue for me to do so. I will NOT cut you any slack because you're a "Twilighter." Don't get me wrong, if we meet off this board, forget about it! Of course I'll hold the door wide so the tennis balls on your walker clear the frame, I'll still smile when I have to knock on your window to tell you the light is green, and I certainly won't make a face when you pass by with a load you've been toting around in your britches since your last changing hits my personal airspace. You won't hear me snicker even a little when I hear the telltale cadence of an adult undergarment going "krinkle-krinkle" letting me know you're nearby, but just out of sight.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Above, Twizzler's just limbering up for our tilt...

A couple of epic smackers like us know the importance of stretching first.

Below, Wags awaiting Twis next meatball.

Good thing your daughter is ready at 3rd to snag your line drive*.









*There, I got that out of the way.

[smackaholic]

Nope, not a chopper pilot. Been in enough of 'em though.

Would you say most chopper pilots are gay or just the ones you've been in?

fukkk. that softball sailed right past me. gotta get my smack radar into the shop soon.

ya know, that might even be sig worthy.