J-dogg: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody (wink).
DirtyKate: Who are you?
J-dogg: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
J-dogg: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy. I bet you want me in the back of your car.
J-dogg: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order.
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
J-dogg: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes.
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<pause>
DirtyKate: J-dogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg: You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg: I'm on my way now though.
<pause>
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg: How did you know?
J-dogg: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven.
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby.
J-dogg: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstasy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit.
DirtyKate: Fuck
sexysusan: I'm a Japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
J-Dogg: A Rhinoceros. Well, hung like one, that’s for sure.
sexysusan: Haha, ok lets go.
sexysusan: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
J-Dogg: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexysusan: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexysusan: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceroses don't were shirts.
sexysusan: No, you’re not really a Rhinoceros silly, its just part of the game.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceroses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinoceros about to charge your ass.
J-Dogg: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexysusan: That’s it.
J-Dogg: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red rag doll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
J-Dogg: Goddamn am I hard now.
Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?
J-Dogg: What like gardening and shit?
Katey69: Yeah, something like that.
J-Dogg: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
J-Dogg: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
Katey69: is that it?
J-Dogg: You water your tomato patch.
J-Dogg: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
J-Dogg: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
J-Dogg: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
J-Dogg: My zucchini caresses your carrots.
J-Dogg: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
Katey69: ...
J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see, bitch.
Katey69: Whatever.
J-Dogg: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice alright?
BritneySpears27: Alright.
J-Dogg: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27: I slip out of my pants, just for you, J-Dogg.
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, alright. Alright, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27: Funny I still don't see it.
J-Dogg: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
J-Dogg: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
J-Dogg: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?