T1B

I always liked bacon.

I almost never eat it because it's such a pain in the ass to fix it. It takes forever on the stove, and where do you dump the fat? Too much wasted paper towel and too much grease to make it convenient in the microwave. Plus it's not exactly low fat or low sodium on the heart association scale.

Yeah, I know, pre-cooked bacon has been around for a while. But it never really satisfied until I discovered this stuff.



Thick cut Hormel fully cooked bacon, from Costco.

This stuff is cooked just enough to be not quite cooked enough. You can use it for stuff, like scallops, that's good cooked with bacon wrapped around it, or whatever.

But the best thing is, put as many slices as you want between a couple of paper towels, set the microwave for 15 seconds per slice, and it comes out perfectly crisp. Most of the fat has already been cooked out. Fucking one minute for four perfect slices of bacon.

Fuck I'm gonna die young now.



l to r: Mikey with an unlimited supply of bacon

Mikey wrote: I almost never eat it because it's such a pain in the ass to fix it. It takes forever on the stove, and where do you dump the fat?

Fat? No, it's called grease and you damn sure don't dump it. You cook your fried eggs in it, over easy. It soaks all that delicious bacon fat right up. Anything left, you pour over your dogs food.

Who cares if it goes straight to your arteries? We all gotta' die sometime. Might as well enjoy the ride.

War Wagon wrote:
Fat? No, it's called grease and you damn sure don't dump it. You cook your fried eggs in it,

To simply RACK this statement would not do it proper justice.

Yeah I hear that.
These days I'm more into butter and olive oil, though. If I need some bacon flavor I just add some bacon.

mvscal wrote:...olive oil is a completely different animal.

Turns out it's actually a vegetable.

Mikey wrote: Fuck I'm gonna die young now.

sorry, but, the statute of limitations on you doing anything "young" ran out in the last century.

bon appetit.

Can I get mikey in the '10 pool?

Rack the mr creosote ref, btw. I think I threw up some from laughing to hard when I saw that in the theatre way back when even mikey qualified as young.

What a great topic! Bacon.....nature's perfect food. Gee, why do you think they wrap all kinds of meat with it. Hell, you could wrap a donut with it and it'd taste good.

Seriously, my sister-in-law's brother is a chef and refers to bacon grease as a "cook's gold."

War Wagon wrote:Anything left, you pour over your dogs food.

You mentioned once before that your believe a "fat" dog is a happy dog. The last few years of a dog's life are generally tough enough without all the extra issues you're adding on through your ignorance.

Huh?

My Jack Russell terrier mix, going on 15 years old, thinks you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, whereas my 7 year old fat, dumb, and happy German Shepard simply wants you to go fuck yourself.

My grandfather used to fry eggs in the sausage grease. Unhealthy as hell, but damn tasty!

War Wagon wrote:my 7 year old fat, dumb, and happy German Shepard simply wants you to go fuck yourself.

Talk to me in 3-4 years when you're forced to put him/her down...

mvscal wrote:

Mikey wrote:where do you dump the fat?

Into a jar, dumbass. Bacon grease is about the only reason I cook bacon. Wherever appropriate, you can substitute bacon grease for an equivalent amount of butter. It makes a great soffrito for many different sauces and gravy.

Saute onions and shallots in bacon grease for a few minutes and then fold in some sliced brown mushrooms with a little salt and fresh ground pepper and go from there or just spoon that on top of an omlette or a steak or whatever.

Bacon grease is good.

Get back into character. This isn't the cooking forum. Not only did you reply with more than 2 sentences, you called noone a dumbfuck (and calling me a dumbfuck is kinda KC after my reply to you).

But yeah, bacon grease is da shiznit. I love to make bagel sandwiches for b'fast. I take the bacon and cook it in the skillet. Then, I take the bagels and grill them over the bacon grease. This not only toasts the bagel but it also soaks up that grease into the bagel for more flavor in the sandwich. Then, like Wags said, I drop some onions and mushrooms on the leftover grease and then throw the egg on top of that. Little S&P, crack the yolk, flip for an over medium and put on the sandy with a slice of pepper jack cheese.

Good shit, mang.

edit: in hindsight after reading your response, i see you called him a dumbass which is close enough to dumbfuck.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:

War Wagon wrote:my 7 year old fat, dumb, and happy German Shepard simply wants you to go fuck yourself.

Talk to me in 3-4 years when you're forced to put him/her down...

Put it down? That's what broken fences are for.

War Wagon wrote:

Mikey wrote: I almost never eat it because it's such a pain in the ass to fix it. It takes forever on the stove, and where do you dump the fat?

Fat? No, it's called grease and you damn sure don't dump it. You cook your fried eggs in it, over easy. It soaks all that delicious bacon fat right up. Anything left, you pour over your dogs food.

.

Dogs love that! Whenever I fed my Chesapeake retriever some, bacon-soaked eukanueba, he would blow shit all over his kennel for a couple of days like a goose drunk on prune juice. Good times!

even a good chopstick to punch holes in your roast and insert

...S w o o n ...

Try Sizzlean.....If that shit even exists anymore...

I've gotten off bacon & now do the hard shit....


Jimmy Dean Maple Sausage....


Dudes & Dudettes, I could fuck up a whole pound of that in one fell swoop....


Get a fat ass center cut porkchop make some apple cornbread stuffing......

Fucking heaven ..............

Sorry, but bacon is the hard stuff. Sausage is just a gateway pork product.

I can see why you'd prefer sausage though, fag.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/05/01/hy ... index.html

Damn, this shit was gonna kill me.

smackaholic wrote:Sorry, but bacon is the hard stuff. Sausage is just a gateway pork product.

Jimmy Dean Maple Sausage is not a joke.

Look at these stats:
https://www.jimmydean.com/sitecontent/l ... tties.aspx

Compare that to the Thick Slice Premium Bacon and you got a old school Laker-Celtics Finals.:
https://www.jimmydean.com/sitecontent/b ... lices.aspx

Bobby42 wrote:http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/05/01/hy ... index.html

Damn, this shit was gonna kill me.

Bobby stay away from all get get in shape quick schemes or get rich quick schemes.

All that shit either kills your wallet, heart, liver or kidneys.

Exercise and a better diet is the only way to go without doing more damage to yourself.

This thread lends further credence to how disgustingly obese this country is. I bet you losers bathe yourselves in lard....
bacon grease cologne.... butter flavored deodorant. Etc. Blech.


Why do you hate Jimmie Med's insurance premiums so much?

It's Bacon!

Jimmy Dean products are the shiznit and thick sliced is the only kind I'll buy. Farmland doesn't suck either.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:This thread lends further credence to how disgustingly obese this country is. I bet you losers bathe yourselves in lard....
bacon grease cologne.... butter flavored deodorant. Etc. Blech.


Why do you hate Jimmie Med's insurance premiums so much?

why do you hate your taste buds, tofu boy?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:This thread lends further credence to how disgustingly obese this country is. I bet you losers bathe yourselves in lard....
bacon grease cologne.... butter flavored deodorant. Etc. Blech.


Why do you hate Jimmie Med's insurance premiums so much?

Those in the know call it a "cheat day" meaning you can eat whatever the fuck you want one day out of the week as long as you either 1. work out 3-4 days a week and eat decent 6 out of 7 or 2. eat in moderation 6 days out of 7 with a normal to slightly active lifestyle which could be as little as 18 holes of golf or a game of softball or raquetball once twice a week.

Then there are those who starve themselves of such heavenly things like bacon grease. They usually end up binging on it or similarly bad foods and gain 20 lbs. a year as a result. All the while hating life due to the deprivation of foods they naturally crave.

Just for comparison sake,

bacon, three slices:

Calories 103
Calories from Fat 71

Total Fat 7.9g 12%
Saturated Fat 2.6g 13%
Trans Fat 0.0g
Polyunsaturated Fat 0.9g
Monounsaturated Fat 3.5g
Cholesterol 21mg 7%
Sodium 439mg18%
Total Carbohydrates 0.3g 0%
Protein 7.0g

big mac:

Calories 560
Calories from Fat 270

Total Fat 30g 46%
Saturated Fat 10g 50%
Polyunsaturated Fat 8g
Monounsaturated Fat 11g
Cholesterol 79mg 26%
Sodium 1010mg 42%
Total Carbohydrates 47g 16%
Dietary Fiber 3g
Protein 25g

Great. Now show me someone who only has three slices of bacon, and nothing else. No fried eggs, no pancakes with butter and syrup, no extra helping of ten more pieces of bacon, etc.

Moreover, how can one put out a single nutritional value label on bacon? There are so many different brands of bacon, with so many different thicknesses and so many different amounts of fat.

But yeah, Big Macs are truly disgusting.

Van wrote: Moreover, how can one put out a single nutritional value label on bacon?

Pretty sure those published numbers represent an average, sort of like they do for every other kind of food.

Sort of like all Big Macs aren't created completely equal either, nor are New York steaks, pancakes, broccoli spears, carrots or loaves of asiago cheese sourdough bread. At least not in the world that I live in. I put up those values, as I said, for comparison.

Anal much, Van?

( , BTW)

Ever notice how some people just need to find a point, any point no matter how ridiculous, to start an argument? But hey, this is a smack board and I'm down with that.
Tell me Van, are you married? Do you ever notice that you wife walks away in disgust in the middle of a lot of conversations? Ever wonder why?

Anyway, based on that average value it would take over 15 slices of bacon to equal the calories in a single Big Mac, or almost 12 slices to equal the fat. I'm pretty sure you could add a couple of eggs to those three (or even four) slices and still have fewer calories and less fat than the juicy double cheeseburger.

And Big Macs would still taste like waterbuffalo phlegm.

Van wrote:And Big Macs would still taste like waterbuffalo phlegm.

I've heard they're looking at waterbuffalo phlegm as a possible cure for swine flu.

Don't be surprised when it becomes their next packaged condiment.

Ever seen the honey mustard sauce?

The package, yes. The contents, no.

You really hit a hot button with me, when you mentioned Big Macs. See, every two years or so I get suckered into trying one again. It's always the same scenario. Someone will be talking about their time spent overseas, and how much they missed little things from America.

"I went to the McDonalds in Bahrain, and it tasted nothing like home. Man, I couldn't wait to get back home and have a real Big Mac!"

I'll be out somewhere, the mood will hit me, and I'll try to convince myself that maybe I just got a bad one. These people like this shit so much, there must be something to 'em.

I again go and try one...

Thousand Island dressing, pickles, soggy lettuce bits...gooey paste. Fuck. It's just...nasty. Moreover, it's one of those rare "food items" I can eat which will immediately make me feel a little sick. Not nausea sick, either. No, it's more like, "I'm suddenly out of breath, and my heart doesn't feel right" sick.

It's like I can feel a little bit of a preview of a heart attack. It's not like this happens with all fast food, or all burgers, either. A Quarter Pounder With Cheese Lookin' Orange Stuff doesn't have that effect on me. An In-N-Out Double-Double doesn't do that to me.

Just the Big Mac. I never seem to get one of those "good" Big Macs.

Van wrote: You really hit a hot button with me, when you mentioned Big Macs. See, every two years or so I get suckered into trying one again. It's always the same scenario. Someone will be talking about their time spent overseas, and how much they missed little things from America.

"I went to the McDonalds in Bahrain, and it tasted nothing like home. Man, I couldn't wait to get back home and have a real Big Mac!"

Totally opposite experience for me.

The best Big Mac I ever had was in Taiwan. Had several actually because I was there for a week and McDonalds was the only American food there. I would've starved if it hadn't been for McD's as I wasn't going to eat the garbage that passes for cuisine on that god-forsaken rock. Squid? No thanks.

The "Royale With Cheese" I had in Paris tasted exactly the same as a Quarter Pounder, here. I'm okay with those, they don't kill me too badly.

I never tried any other McDonald's fare, while I was in Europe. I did notice that the one in Paris had some weird sammiches I didn't recognize. One was sorta like a Big Mac, only with bacon. They also had one with blue cheese.

Glad I didn't try any of 'em.

A big mac doesn't have enough flavor to be horrible. It is a bland pathetic sandwich. I would much rather eat their crappy 99 cent cheesboogers

Between the vomit colored goop, the overpowering taste of pickles, the soggy lettuce and all that bread, the Big Mac certainly does have plenty of flavor. It has a very distinctive flavor, which you wouldn't confuse with anything else. It's distinctive, and horrible.

It's like rimming an unbathed fat chick from Missouri. It's highly distinctive, miserably unforgettable and completely wrong.

Van wrote:It's like rimming an unbathed fat chick from Missouri. It's highly distinctive, miserably unforgettable and completely wrong.

wags, can I get a confirmation on this?

Van wrote:
Thousand Island dressing, pickles, soggy lettuce bits...gooey paste.

Hmmm...interesting variation of "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."

And RACK the double double, BTW. Double double animal style is my go-to burger if I ever have a choice.

Calories 670
Calories from Fat 370

Total Fat 41g
Saturated Fat 18g
Polyunsaturated Fat 8g
Sodium 1440g
Total Carbohydrates 3g
Dietary Fiber 3g
Protein 37g

Mikey wrote:Hmmm...interesting variation of "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."

And RACK the double double, BTW. Double double animal style is my go-to burger if I ever have a choice.

one of the most successful jingles of all time. too bad it describes a horrible burger. a burger needs a slice of tomato. it sure the fukk does not need a third slice of bread.

i'll take a plain old whopper wif cheese any day if i gotta go the mega chain route.

If you are ever in the nashville area, check out a fat mo's. Don't know the calorie count, but, it's up there with the fed deficit for this year. Comes in ginormous and bigger sizes. it has all the food groups, beef, bacon, jalapenos, chiz, mushrooms. If you are dressed up pretty, stay away. You WILL get it all over you.