Serious inquiries for poptart re: Satan

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

pop, over the years you have so eloquently and patiently discussed subjects pertaining to God, and I thank you for that. I think I can speak for a lot of folks when I say, we have learned much. But it seems to me that little has been discussed in the way of Satan and Hell, and all that good stuff. So I'm here today to pose some inquiries to you, hoping you'll be so kind as to further enlighten.

1. Do you believe Satan is a literal being?

2. If so, how do you imagine Satan physically? Please be as descriptive as possible. Pics are fine.

3. Do you suppose Lucifer was kicked to the depths of Hell because he was a heterosexual who was freaky and liked to get wild with the female angels?

4. What AFC rivalry would you compare to God v Satan?

5. Do you think in this cutting edge era of evil deedin' Satan has maximized all his outlets and resources, like blogs, message boards, etc? Or do you think he just keeps it old school by getting trapped inside your body and shit? Has he outsourced to India?

6. Do you think maybe Hell isn't as bad as advertised, and God just convinced everyone that it sucks ass when it's actually kinda deece? Like what if you get down there and it's just a laptop stuck on T1B with nothing but Derron posts but the other 6 days of the week you get to watch football and bang chicks.

7. In the movie Field of Dreams, John Kinsella asks, "Is this heaven?" Ray Kinsella responds with, "It's Iowa."

Fill in the blank:

"Is this Hell?"

"It's _________."

[Goober McTuber]

7. In the movie Field of Dreams, John Kinsella asks, "Is this heaven?" Ray Kinsella responds with, "It's Iowa."

Fill in the blank:

"Is this Hell?"

"It's .net ."

[Dinsdale]

[indyfrisco]

The next Jamarcus?

[Carson]

That's MISTER Satan to you, Dinsduck. :twisted:

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Let's try to keep the responses serious in nature, guys.

[Dinsdale]

I'm dead fucking SERIOUS, alright?

Unless you can think of something more FUCKING SERIOUS than the FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, fartsnorter.

[poptart]

1. Do you believe Satan is a literal being?

Yes.

2. If so, how do you imagine Satan physically? Please be as descriptive as possible. Pics are fine.

Satan is a spiritual being.

3. Do you suppose Lucifer was kicked to the depths of Hell because he was a heterosexual who was freaky and liked to get wild with the female angels?

He was kicked to the earth because he rebelled against God.

4. What AFC rivalry would you compare to God v Satan?

None of them.

5. Do you think in this cutting edge era of evil deedin' Satan has maximized all his outlets and resources, like blogs, message boards, etc? Or do you think he just keeps it old school by getting trapped inside your body and shit? Has he outsourced to India?

He's maximized all resources, to say the least.

6. Do you think maybe Hell isn't as bad as advertised, and God just convinced everyone that it sucks ass when it's actually kinda deece? Like what if you get down there and it's just a laptop stuck on T1B with nothing but Derron posts but the other 6 days of the week you get to watch football and bang chicks.

I think it's awful.
Day after day of only Derron posts would be a serious upgrade over hell.

7. In the movie Field of Dreams, John Kinsella asks, "Is this heaven?" Ray Kinsella responds with, "It's Iowa."

Fill in the blank:

"Is this Hell?"

"It's _________."

a deck done with square screws.

[Wolfman]

[Mace]

2. If so, how do you imagine Satan physically? Please be as descriptive as possible. Pics are fine.

Here's a pretty good snapshot of him.

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

Ummm..Question 3. - Lucifer thought he was just as good as God, his equal. The sin of vanity.

Carry on.

Oh, and #7.

It's The University of Miami.

[Mikey]

1. Do you believe Satan is a literal being?

I think that's supposed to be "liberal".

[Derron]

Evil can find its way even to the Vatican:

Pope’s child porn 'normal' claim sparks outrage among victims

You forgot to put in " Kiss my ring you bitch's !"