Where's the home improvement forum up in this bitch?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:42 pm

I'm moving into a new cardboard box soon and I'm gonna paint it. I have no clue about anything interior design wise, like what would be a good color to paint it (not pink, faggots). Exterior I'll take suggestions from anyone not named Suckaholic.

Any suggestions would be great. Seems there are resources out there but they are mostly geared towards women...or emasculated men like Gobbles McTubesteak.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:50 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:I'm moving into a new cardboard box soon and I'm gonna paint it. I have no clue about anything interior design wise, like what would be a good color to paint it (not pink, faggots). Exterior I'll take suggestions from anyone not named Suckaholic.

Any suggestions would be great. Seems there are resources out there but they are mostly geared towards women...or emasculated men like Gobbles McTubesteak.

I’ve probably done more interior painting than most people posting here. Because I’m older than most, have lived in a number of different apartments, have owned a couple of houses and years ago I painted apartments for a couple of different apartment complexes in order to pay my bills without having to clean up other men’s DNA.

What was your question?

Kansas City Kid · Post by **Kansas City Kid** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:51 pm

The only painting being done in your new place will continue to be the back of your tonsils from a giant black cock, Homo.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:51 pm

Ha. OK, Gobbles, any suggestions? It's a 1BR. I was thinking about maroon or a dark red in the living room. Would that work?

Kansas City Kid · Post by **Kansas City Kid** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:58 pm

This is more his style:

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:15 pm

I don’t know anything about decorating. But I’m kind of conservative when it comes to paint. I’m partial to that egg shell/vanilla color scheme for walls. Or a white ceiling with muted color on the walls. I would never go dark except possibly in a bedroom [/softball]. The dark red would be a nice choice there as it would help hide the blood stains.

The other consideration regarding dark colors is that the landlord may want it returned to a neutral color when you leave, and then you have to worry about covering that dark color. That’s when you need the primer. If you’re covering white with beige, you don’t need primer.

BTW, I believe Dinsdale also has experience in this area. He will probably contradict everything I’ve said.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:19 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:the landlord may want it returned to a neutral color when you leave

There will be no landlord for my new cardboard box. Thanks, honestly, for the tips, though. Now get fucked.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:23 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:the landlord may want it returned to a neutral color when you leave
There will be no landlord for my new cardboard box.

Are you buying a condo? Aw look, our little boy is all growed up.

The other consideration is what brand to use. I’ve never used Behr, but I know Dinsdale says it’s crap. I’ve always used a local paint (Mautz) which is a real high quality paint. Don’t skimp on quality. Or you'll just be re-doing the process a lot sooner.

Do the neutral color in the living room and accent it with framed prints, a throw rug and a designer jizz-mop.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:57 pm

Go to any home improvement store and look at the sample paint cards on display. Plus if you're going with a dark color, you better use a primer first or you'll have bleed-through which will require extra coats.

If you have the typical apartment semi-gloss on your walls right now then you need to use Trisodium Phosphate (TSP) to take off the existing sheen or you will see peeling of your new paint job soon enough. Also, take the trim tape off before the paint dries if you use multiple coats or it will chip when removing.

Actually, David in Tulsa could give you a tip or two. One being advice and the other being his dong to tickle your tonsils.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:04 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:If you have the typical apartment semi-gloss on your walls right now

All of the apartment painting I ever did, semi-gloss went in the bathroom and kitchen (for easy cleaning) and the living room/bedrooms were flat latex.

I can understand all of the walls in your apartment being ~~semi-gloss~~ Teflon-coated for easy cleaning.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:15 pm

Maybe flat/matte is common in your area, but around here in the hood semi-gloss is the norm. Actually Behr has/had a specific Kitchen&Bath paint that was semi-gloss.

You're right that in some areas they will spray the cheapest paint... being flat latex.

Not sure who sells "Frog tape" anymore but that stuff is really good.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:27 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:Not sure who sells "Frog tape" anymore but that stuff is really good.

Around these parts it’s some dump called “Home Depot”.

Python · Post by **Python** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:37 pm

Pay someone to do it. The end.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:39 pm

Python wrote:Pay someone to do it. The end.

Cuda, your thoughts (preferably in the next three minutes)?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:41 pm

Since I've worked in the Paint Dept at Home Depot for 5 & 1/2 years and a few other departments... none of the local HD stores carry Frog Tape anymore due to the sales numbers of the product. That stuff is a bit pricier for the Mexican contractors that have to turn apartments and they stick to 3M. Lowes may still have it. I have no idea.

Next thing you know you'll start telling me about paint sprayers I rented out when they put me in Tool Rental.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:45 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:Since I've worked in the Paint Dept at Home Depot for 5 & 1/2 years and a few other departments... none of the local HD stores carry Frog Tape anymore due to the sales numbers of the product.

I was at the local Home Depot on the weekend. They have Frog Tape.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:48 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:Since I've worked in the Paint Dept at Home Depot for 5 & 1/2 years and a few other departments... none of the local HD stores carry Frog Tape anymore due to the sales numbers of the product.
I was at the local Home Depot on the weekend. They have Frog Tape.

Read the above post again you senile, waxed and plucked old bastard.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:53 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:Since I've worked in the Paint Dept at Home Depot for 5 & 1/2 years and a few other departments... none of the local HD stores carry Frog Tape anymore due to the sales numbers of the product.
I was at the local Home Depot on the weekend. They have Frog Tape.
Read the above post again you senile, waxed and plucked old bastard.

I don’t have to. I just pointed out they stock it here. I never said anything about your locality, you pickled ADHD cross-dresser.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:57 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:I was at the local Home Depot on the weekend. They have Frog Tape.

Painted last spring and got Frog Tape from the local HD... the hardware store about 2 miles from me doesn't carry it.

AP not knowing WTF she's talking about, again. Shocker. Lemme guess. Only the HD stores her area don't carry it.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:00 pm

Goobs, good for you. I forgot that you have to get the last word in on every thread. My bad.

ucunt now chimes in as he has no reading comprehension skills as the pending hook-up with KC Scott has been indefinitely delayed. Must be a problem with the PM inbox or Scott is afraid of a 'roid raged sexual reunion.

Python · Post by **Python** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:06 pm

Atomic Punk wrote: 'roid raged sexual reunion.

Pay someone to do it. The end.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:08 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:as he has no reading comprehension skills.

What is the zip code where this Frog Tape doesn't exist? Are you talking Fresno?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:16 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:as he has no reading comprehension skills.

What is the zip code where this Frog Tape doesn't exist? Are you talking Fresno?

Yes. Now, they may have brought it back since I've been gone for over a year and discerning customers in the wealthier parts of town may have demanded they bring it back. No idea. My store and others stopped carrying it, and for the 2nd time it was due to sales numbers not being so good because contractors hired Mexicans to do the work (since you can't read very well as you sweat out your daily dose of 'roids).

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:19 pm

Nice backpedal, you despicable tranny. "Now" they have it. Sure.

Python · Post by **Python** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:21 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:discerning customers in the wealthier parts of town may have demanded they bring it back.

So wealthier customers really care how much tape costs? Got it.

Imus · Post by **Imus** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:22 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:as he has no reading comprehension skills.

What is the zip code where this Frog Tape doesn't exist? Are you talking Fresno?
Yes. Now, they may have brought it back since I've been gone for over a year and discerning customers in the wealthier parts of town may have demanded they bring it back. No idea. My store and others stopped carrying it, and for the 2nd time it was due to sales numbers not being so good because contractors hired Mexicans to do the work (since you can't read very well as you sweat out your daily dose of 'roids).

I thought you said you have been nurse trainee for over three years now. Which is it, are you a bed pan technician, a paint by numbers mixer, or a raving case of the DTs.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:23 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Nice backpedal, you despicable tranny. "Now" they have it. Sure.

I said they may have it but I don't know since I don't work there anymore. You're not a very smart person... and all smack and banter aside, you really are really fucking stupid.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:31 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:I said they may have it but I don't know since I don't work there anymore. You're not a very smart person... and all smack and banter aside, you really are really fucking stupid.

Unlike you, I don't like to leave things to chance. And I am telling you that definitely DO carry it. Moreover, they've always carried it. As I originally said, you don't know WTF you are talking about.

Are we clear here?

Now run along and have a drink or 17...

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:44 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:I said they may have it but I don't know since I don't work there anymore. You're not a very smart person... and all smack and banter aside, you really are really fucking stupid.
Unlike you, I don't like to leave things to chance. And I am telling you that definitely DO carry it. Moreover, they've always carried it. As I originally said, you don't know WTF you were talking about.

Are we clear here?

Now run along and have a drink or 17...

Always have carried it? Really? The patent for Frog Tape was published in Dec 2004. It was voted best new product in 2007. My HD store got it in 2009. BTW, did you read the part where I said I worked in the Paint Dept for 5 & 1/2 years? Also 3M sued the company you stupid mother fucker.

I can write a thesis on the effects of 'roids on idiots. Lyle Alzado says "Keep juicin' ... Brother"

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:50 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:Always have carried it?

As in, they didn't start stocking it, stop stocking it, and then start stocking it again.

Took me about 30 seconds to google Fresno Home Depot and talk to someone at the first store on the list. It's on King's Canyon Rd in Fresno. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Do you carry Frog Tape?
HD Employee: Yeah man, we sure do. That stuff works aaawwwesome.
ME: Do you surf?
HD Employee?: Huh?
Me: Do you know Johnny Utah? I mean. How long have you carried it?
HD Employee: I’ve been here 2 years and we’ve always had it.
Me: Did some moron in the Paint Dept get fired for being a cross-dressing tranny a few years back?
HD Employee: Uhm…
Me: Thanks, brah… <click>

Now... tell me again how all of the local (Fresno) HD stores stopped carrying Frog Tape after you left. I am riveted.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:54 pm

That's a blatant lie as I know those peeps at that store.

Now, that could work to convince people on this board if I actually worked at that store.

You've KYOA badly. I've just given you facts and you make this up?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:58 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:I just given you facts and you make this up?

The Home Depot - Fresno
4864 E Kings Canyon Rd, Fresno, CA
(559) 455-9124

If I am "making this up" then why am I daring anyone else to call the store and ask them if they carry Frog Tape?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:04 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:I’ve probably done more interior painting than most people posting here.

You should probably run that by Dinsdale, first.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:15 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:I just given you facts and you make this up?

The Home Depot - Fresno
4864 E Kings Canyon Rd, Fresno, CA
(559) 455-9124

If I am "making this up" then why am I daring anyone else to call the store and ask them if they carry Frog Tape?

Who did you talk to? Give a specific name and how long they've worked there. We've been known to "bend the truth" when asshole customers give us shit. BTW, did you read what I've said about when the product got it's patent and it was best new product of the year in 2007?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:56 am

Roach wrote:but be sure to use primer first

Spoken like a true DIY tard.

If it's painted drywall, I always laugh at this suggestion, since it's invariably spoken like someone who doesn't understand the concept of "primer."

"Primer" "primes" things. PVA (that's polyvinyl acetate, AKA "interior primer") is much lower % solids than any interior paint you'll ever find -- thus increasing the chances of an extra coat, not decreasing it.

So, in short... stupid fucking idea.

BUT... not quite as stupid as the self-professed "painting master" barking off with...

Goober McTuber wrote:I’m partial to that egg shell... color scheme for walls.

Screwball -- You might think twice before taking any advice from someone who thinks "eggshell" is a paint color.

"Eggshell" would be a level of sheen, dipshit. Depending who makes it (a couple of companies reverse the order of satin and eggshell), "eggshell" is the sheen between flat (or velvet, if offered) and semigloss. Good choice for interior walls, although a DIY might get the "shark's teeth" in the sheen, due to uneven paint thickness. But still, eggshell is a solid choice... REGARDLESS WHAT COLOR YOU HAVE IT MIXED IN (satin is a great choice, too).

Don't feel too bad Goobs -- it's not like your the first (or 50th) fucking idiot who seems to struggle with those extremely basic concepts.

Regardless, it isn't 1/100th the level of stupid as someone suggesting washing walls with TSP (sup 1958). Good way to make coatings not stick.

Screw -- if you like maroon/burgundy, I'd say 3 peanut/almond/beige-ish walls, with the one opposite the window in the burgundy as an accent...

But I have no taste in colors, whatsoever. My favorite color is the one the customers like, which makes them scratch out the check quicker. Same pretty much goes for all aspects of the house.

And Frog Tape? Are you sealing the shit off for an incoming hurricane? Damn, home improvement marketing is funny.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:06 am

I think Dins is trying to make a point or 2. I'll wait for more laughs... especially after cracking on the use of TSP which is a light acid to scuff the sheen off semi and high gloss surfaces.

Please continue. I'm cracking open a 30 pack right now and watching reruns of the Charlie Sheen roast from last night.

I've also noticed ucunt hasn't given me a name to verify he actually called the store on Kings Cyn as I have friends there that may have clocked out already and nobody would remember the call, let alone pick up the phone when you reach the call center options.

Go ahead Dins... Continue please. I'm counting on your foolishness for my selfish entertainment.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:11 am

Atomic Punk wrote:TSP which is a light acid

I see you know about as much about chemistry as you do home improvement.

Are you going for the single-thread :facepalm: record or something?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:15 am

Dinsdale wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:TSP which is a light acid

I see you know about as much about chemistry as you do home improvement.

Are you going for the single-thread :facepalm: record or something?

I've never seen pre-coated drywall with PVA on it. Where would you find such a mythical product?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:19 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I've never seen pre-coated drywall with PVA on it. Where would you find such a mythical product?

Do me another favor -- back up a few steps, and take another run at it...

and DO try to make sense this time, if you'd be so kind.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:22 am

Okay Dins, I'll repeat...tell me where you can buy this mythical product called drywall that is pre-coated with PVA.