one of you WILL die on 10/31

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:13 pm

I AM SO FUCKNIG PISSED IN CAN BARLEEY BFUCIKING BREATEHE

holy living FUCK i have been reading this message board for the past 4 months STRAIGHT. every post. every word. every second, every minute, of every day. i have become so consumed with my hatred for ALL OF YOU that i cannot function on any level whatsoever. i cannot eat. i cannot sleep. i cannot shit or piss but just barely. all i do is lean over my keyboard and read you societal shit spewers and start BEATING my fucking face into a cinder block. i print out pictures of you fuckheads on a high quality laser printer, tape your pics to my face, look in the mirror, and start beating the fuck out of MYSELF.

the past year has been a living HELL for me

-3 members of The Crew get fucking wacked
-O'Cyrus tracks me down and sends his gang of mexicans after our ASSHOLES. our holes STILL hurt, you fuckwads. they STILL hurt. when we take a dump a subtle whiff of Modelo can still be detected.
-Petrus fucking played us and fled for Namibia with all our cash. we built an empire of money, women, and drugs: and it's ALL fucking gone

simply put: SOMEBODY has got to pay. that's why we have widdled down a selective list of posters from this rotting shitbox, and one of you WILL get fucking murdered on Halloween night. it's not a matter of IF. it's not even a matter of WHEN. i KNOW that because it's set on my Outlook Calendar.

12:00 PM lunch at 4 Seasons
1:30 PM murder somebody from T1B

but before we get into all that shit, let me introduce you cockcuddlers to your fucking MAKER

We call him Novacaine

he spent the last 5 months training with Rollins in the Tibetan mountains. his assbeating skills have FAR surpassed anyone i have ever trained...including myself. he is half man, half machine, and 100% badass.

Fortunately for the slickhaired douchelick that is chosen, Novacaine is not without mercy. he will plant his foot up your ass so you can have sex one last time before he fucking KILLS you.

the list will be revealed at a later date.

GET FUCKED

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:56 pm

jsc, you looking to save a few bucks the next time your digestive tract tries to kill itself?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:59 pm

i like the way his cute little pencil goatee makes his chin look like an ass. too bad it's gonna look like an ass with a few ruptured hemroids if this punk takes a ride on the (un)luckystar bus.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:11 am

I didn't think it was possible for anyone to look like a bigger douche than douchebag. Novacaine? Seriously? Who the fuck has the privilege of naming your Crew, douchebag?

Next you'll tell us "Neosporin" is the newest member of the Crew.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:40 am

R-Jack's nephew is part of the The Crew now. Perfect.

'Sup, D-bag. You were missed...

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31578

BossBobby · Post by **BossBobby** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:36 am

Van wrote:R-Jack's nephew is part of the The Crew now. Perfect.

Whad da Fizzuk? Wigga Pleaz.

Me an Rick is mofuckin tight, like virgin vajayjay. Rick is my BOY. Fuckin reconiggaize.

You best bellibe that I gots my cuz's back nigga. I keeps a private jet to flyby any busta ass trick or trick ass busta that steps to my cuz. Shit.

This nigga novacaine ain't shiznit. You best remember, last name ever first name greatest like a sprain ankle boy i aint nothin to play wit. I'll fuck you like a fiend wit three diznix.

respect the GOAT

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:41 am

Douchebag wrote:I AM SO FUCKNIG PISSED IN CAN BARLEEY BFUCIKING BREATEHE

Fook.yes! I'm here for you, DB.....as always.

You have the numbers.

I'll release the toll block.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:52 am

BossBobby, you're kinda cute when you're all confused and excited like this. You're like a shnauzer puppy when the doorbell rings.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:54 am

Van wrote:BossBobby, you're kinda cute when you're all confused and excited like this. You're like a shnauzer puppy when the doorbell rings.

Careful, Van, you wouldn't want BossBobby to threaten you with one of these:

Scary, isn't it?

BossBobby · Post by **BossBobby** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:58 am

Van wrote:BossBobby, you're kinda cute when you're all confused and excited like this. You're like a shnauzer puppy when the doorbell rings.

Whachoo say strawberry?

Don't be talkin about dogs and shit. I send my boy Blue on you.

That's him as a pizzuppy lookin fo joqqers to snack on whilz I beez lookin fo bitches to mack on. Straight Pit playa.

The GOAT is forizzil.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:21 am

BB, fifth grade was a real bitch, wasn't it?

BossBobby · Post by **BossBobby** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:37 am

Fif Grizzade waznt no thang but a chicken wang. Is that suppozed to be wing or wang.

Fizznuck it.

I tryin to tell you busta that this novacain nagga ain't nuthin but a sparkle in my Ed Hardy hat. That pic of him was doctored fo him to luk like a real muthafuckin Gizzie.

Here is that real photo. I swear on my V6 Mustang that I didn't fuck wit dis pic uno bit.

I toldz ya. He ain't no GOAT. I leave him in a fukkkkin moat. Yeah nigga.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:55 am

I wonder if he's still dating that poor chagrined girl?

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:30 pm

the list will be revealed at a later date.

THE FUCKED 14

R-Jack
smackaholic
Van
Derron
BSmack
War Wagon
PSUFAN
Diogenes
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich
MadRussian
mvscal
Smackie Chan
Mace

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:52 pm

Rollins won't make it past R Jack.

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:16 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Wow. With that schedule, I don't think you'll make it to the post season, hell I don't think you'll even have a winning season. Sorry.

one of you WILL die

HOLY FUCK I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU JUST FOR BEING SO FUCKING STUPID

FUCK

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:19 pm

Is this somehow related to the JSC4PallBearers thread?

I'm typing with my fists. This time, DB MUST DIE.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:22 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Wow. With that schedule, I don't think you'll make it to the post season, hell I don't think you'll even have a winning season. Sorry.

Jsc, break it down game by game, BTPCF style. Apply the analytics.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:58 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Is this somehow related to the JSC4PallBearers thread?

I'm typing with my fists. This time, DB MUST DIE.

^^^
Case in point, Douchebag.

This is precisely why you should allow Ana and I to take over strategic/creative control of The Crew. I will assure you that PSUFAN will be less likely to track down and kill any more members.

Ana should be in charge of recruiting.

When PSUFAN kills another Crew member, you'll be calling us.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:32 am

Rollins wrote:
the list will be revealed at a later date.
THE FUCKED 14

R-Jack
smackaholic
Van
Derron
BSmack
War Wagon
PSUFAN
Diogenes
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich
MadRussian
mvscal
Smackie Chan
Mace

I finally made a list.

And I'm strangely underwelmed...

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:04 am

I wouldn't go chain locking any doors.

I'm pretty certain the "chosen" will be someone that the board would have a slight possibility of missing.

11 out of 14 of you should be in the clear.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:12 am

Ana Ng wrote:I wouldn't go chain locking any doors.

I'm pretty certain the "chosen" will be someone that the board would have a slight possibility of missing.

11 out of 14 of you should be in the clear.

Who's the chick in your av?

I don't want to date her, but apparently I might need a bodyguard...

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:21 am

That's my face.

Wytched onto Patty Hearst's SLA pic.

Not much help.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:53 am

That's just wrong.

Now if it was Patty's face and your body, it would be on like Donkey Kong.

MadRussian · Post by **MadRussian** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 6:40 pm

Rollins wrote:
the list will be revealed at a later date.
THE FUCKED 14

R-Jack
smackaholic
Van
Derron
BSmack
War Wagon
PSUFAN
Diogenes
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich
MadRussian
mvscal
Smackie Chan
Mace

I will wrap my fist with barbed wire and pull your colon out and choke you and your other jizz mopping semen spattered faggots into stardom, bring it bi0tches..

PS I hear you suck so muck cock you got a racing stripe tattoed on your uvula...
can you confirm?
TIA

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:38 pm

It has been decided that the person who will DIE from The Fucked 14 will be voted on...by this board. That's right, YOU all get to choose who gets shitbricked from this place on 10/31.

Choose ONE name from the following list and post it here. Got it, dick knuckles?

R-Jack
smackaholic
Van
Derron
BSmack
War Wagon
PSUFAN
Diogenes
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich
MadRussian
mvscal
Smackie Chan
Mace

Angel X · Post by **Angel X** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:37 pm

Tu culo bola de grasa será el primero en muerte.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:09 am

Stevo wrote: Choose ONE name from the following list and post it here. Got it, dick knuckles?

R-Jack
smackaholic
Van
Derron
BSmack
War Wagon
PSUFAN
Diogenes
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich
MadRussian
mvscal
Smackie Chan
Mace

I originally thought of Listing posters and having them voted on in a 2003 Stevie Vai is God thread.

Sin,

Van

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:53 pm

Stevo wrote:ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2

HHhhhhmmmm... I'll be in Boston that day taking in the Bruins/Oilers. I am sure the fans would love to see me pummel you during the 1st intermission and then take a victory lap on the Zamboni as the crowd douses your carcass with Samuel Adams Chowda Friggin Ale. Afterwards, you can hit up a Halloween Party as Randall "Tex" Cobb...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:15 pm

he's never gonna make it, ucunt. i got ct statepolice connections. they have the crews pics and info. they are checking all buses coming up 95. there's a free case of the SA product of their choice to the trooper that delivers his sorry ass to me at the BK parking lot on exit 67.

tell you what. chip in on the case and i'll see to it that there's something left of him when i get through. i'm thinking we string his ass up outside fanuil ...fannue....quincy market. It could be some kind of performance art human piniata kinda deal. Probably clean up in tips.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:00 pm

SA product?

I shy away from the Faneuil Hall area... too many out of towners/drunk ass kids/idiots in general running amok.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:12 pm

Sam Adams product.

And I figured you could clean up on tips by working the "performance art" angle doing it at faneuil hall. A savage beatdown of the crew in dorchester wouldn't raise an eyebrow from anyone. Well, I guess you might get some offering tips on how to more thoroughly stomp ass, but they wouldn't be throwing dollar bills at ya.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:04 pm

Shit, are you guys getting nervous?

Sick Fuck · Post by **Sick Fuck** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:03 pm

Whatever weakass bullshit this "crew" has planned for 10/31 will look like child's play compared to what's about to go down on 11/14. Cat Daddy and The Warlord are lubing their dicks right now in anticipation.

This place is DONE.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:15 pm

So? Who died? The suspense is killing me...

Something tells me it went more like this:

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:47 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Smackie probably isn't nervous, he might already be in New Orleans for Monday Night Football.

Nerves and stress won't be high on his agenda.

Nah, I won't be flying into NOLA until Monday. I'll be easy to find tonight, though. Got my Halloween show lined up and will be rockin' on T1B Radio's Smackie Chan-nel. It'll be, like, all scary and stuff. Unlike douchelord and novacaine and vagisil and the rest of that PUSsified "crew."

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:35 pm

Alive and well. And I did a few exit 67 drive bys hoping baby jeesus would answer my prayers and deliver the crew, but, no such luck.

Pussies.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:34 pm

Still alive. Happy to disappoint you all.

MadRussian · Post by **MadRussian** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:57 pm

I spent last night in a 1 man fighting position with improved overhead cover, with the following laying in wait for the crew:
My trusty modified Eagle Arms CAR-15 with the twin snail 150 round drum filled with NATO armor piercing rounds and every 10th round a tracer, my twin 9mm Makarovs with 12 round clips filled with hollow point ammo, and 4 extra clips next to each Mak, 3 Chi-comm 25lb claymores, with intersecting fields of fire, with their clackers all wired in underground conduit to my bunker.
I was prepared for this pussy ass "crew" and wanted to look into their eyes as the last shred of their filthy soul leaves their carcass, and they realize they fucked up for the last time.
I was in full Ghillie suit and my fighting position was VERY camoflaged and a nice field of fire.

I waited and waited staying alert, watching cars full of niglets from the many government subsidized housing projects without any costume holding a grocery bag, or with a costume that had such loving care of about 10 seconds used to out it together walking up and back from my door.

At about 10pm, I THINK it may have been the crew, I heard one say douchbag, and I think I heard someone say novacaine too, walking up my neighborhood street.

I checked to make sure the saftey selector switch was moved 2 clicks to auto and prepared to exterminate these degenerates, when I heard one of them say "wait, I need to pee" and then I SWEAR this faggot actually SQUATTED to piss!
I was confused, men are not supposed to squat to piss.
This upset my entire tactical plan and I was shocked, but still managed to lean up against the sights, and was about to let 150 rounds of hypervelocity rounds ventilate their sorry asses into their next life, when my neighbor's cat meowed next to them.
One of them tried to wildly shoot the cat holding the semi-auto he was carrying sideways, but ended up shooting of of teh other "crew" morons in his leg area, at least as far as I could tell.
He started screaming, and asking for his fuzzy wubsey or some shit like that, then they all took off down the street with him hobbling as fast as he could, and a moment later I hear a car trying to start up, with a loud booming bass and it appeared the battery died, because I heard them cussing and saying to push start the car. I guess they succeded, because 20 minutes or so later I see a mauve colored pinto station wagon come screaming by, burning copious amounts of oil, and sounding like it was running on 3 cylinders, someone leaned out the window and screamed at my house "thats what you get when you fuck with the crew" :?

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:07 pm

Mace wrote:
Katy wrote:So? Who died? The suspense is killing me...

Something tells me it went more like this:

Haven't seen anything of the crew but I thought I was gonna die of a stroke yesterday afternoon until the 4th quarter of Iowa's game when Ricky Stanzi finally realized his teammates were wearing the black jerseys, not the white ones.