I'll start, and I apologize in advance to those of you whose names I forget.
Pac 10: D
We're horrible. I admit it, straight up. We have our bright spots, such as Mikey, JayDuck and Q, West Coast Style. Those three are all smart, classy and intelligent posters in this forum. Problem is, they're also all fairly infrequent posters in this forum. Meds was also good, but he's long gone, other than as the oft-rumored handler of the m2 troll. Oh, and Greg in PG is solid too, yet also a very infrequent poster.
Who does that leave us?
Well, there's myself, of course, and I'm always so pissed off at everything that I always piss off a good number of the rest of you. At least I'm reliable, though, and I try to be objective, in that I loathe pretty much everything, everywhere. I don't really single out anyone or anything for my ire. I think your schedule sucks and your AD is a pussy; it almost doesn't matter who you root for.
The other Trojan fan here, SoCalTrjn, he's a troll, as far as I'm concerned. If he's real, he's evil. I wouldn't be surprised if Killian is running that troll, just to make us look bad.
Seer and socal are both good too, albeit far too infrequently do they stick their noses in here...and with good reason, considering their team.
Dins is a bit of a bandwagon guy, no matter how much he'll deny it. He's all over Oregon and the Pac 10 when they're winning; delightfully, obnoxiously, he's all over them when they're winning, yet he's mostly a no-show when they're not. He finds the time between bouts of ass-reaming semi-conscious parolees to boast about things when his team is winning, but the diseased parolees magically become his top priority when Oregon fades.
Then there's m2, who's actually a marginally decent poster about CF when he can stay lucid long enough to stick to CF. Unfortunately, he's like someone in the latter stages of Alzheimers.
Because the Pac 10's most prominent posters here are myself, SoCalTrjn, m2 (who's fucking banned!
) and Dins, while our more 'popular' posters are frequent no-shows, yeah, we suck.SEC: C+
The most noteworthy fans here, in that they keep this place humming merely by their existence. All three of 'em are beauties, in that they all try like Geddy Lee fuck to maintain this facade of objectivity even as they constantly gag on Jethro Jizz. Their BSH-ism is so deeply ingrained that they even slap us in the face with it when they don't mean to, and for that they are to be applauded. Sam is the Reasonable Seeming One. He's the guy who craps in your grits while telling you it's a time-honored southern tradition, so take no offense. 'Spray is The Rebel Yell. He's the guy who grabs a bullhorn and bellows obscenities at passersby from the roof of a Jiffy-Lube. Jsc is The Innocent Assassin. He's the guy who can't help but impregnate your daughter, simply because he claimed to not know any better.
By far, they're the most fun guys we have here, and like Nish always said, they perform a necessary function.
ACC: F
They simply have next to no presence here. There's Mr. T, who's perfectly decent enough, and there's a Hokie fan here too, and there are a couple other Seminole fans. Mostly, though, they're just invisible. They never do anything wrong, but they also never stick out. We're not likely to see a seven-page thread authored by an N.C. St fan. They're just...here, in very small numbers.
Big East: C
Until Cinty showed up to bandwagon Cincy this season, who were the Big East's reps here? It's pretty much just Mucho, innit? Mucho's solid, constant and such a decent guy that he earns them a decent grade, which is somewhat negated by Cinty's bandwagon deal. He wasn't here two years ago, and he won't be around much from here on out. I can't think of any Pitt-Rutgers-W Va-UConn-Louisville-Syracuse fans here, so it'll soon be back to Mucho, all by his lonesome.
ND: B+
The only thing keeping them from earning an A is the fact that Lax barely posts, and until very recently he only posted with one purpose in mind: to bash USC. He's a good poster who gives shitty effort. He's like the Jerry Tarkanian Rebels, sorta, or USC in the state of Oregon.
Meanwhile, Terry is the Bill James of this board. Yes, he's as dry as Estelle Getty vag, but he's the ticker at the bottom of this board. While you're watching Florida drub Namibia Polytechnic, Terry's right there, keeping you well-informed about the rest of the goings on and other assorted minutiae relating to anything to do with ND, the Big 10, ND or ND. Terry is pretty much the Paul Harvey of this joint.
Killian is sort of the lifeblood of this place, to me. He's our mascot. Alternately classy and pissed as holy hell, he dons a velvet Trojan as he ass-fucks his favorite topics.
The Big 10: B+
These guys truly give a fuck. They seem to know their whole conference better than any other group here.
"I'm telling ya, that Kafka guy, he's the real deal! You just watch! Pair him up with Decker from Minnesota, and you've got Montana to Rice all over again. Don't sleep on these guys, dude."
PSU and Mgo may be the two most objective, level-headed homers we have here. Sure, Mgo homers for the Big 10, but dude seriously tries to be objective. Dave? He just is.
Not that it matters to anybody else, but 88 is probably my favorite poster on the boards now...any topic. Great for football talk, great for anything else too. Because of him, or any of the other Buckeyes here, it's hard to take delight in OSU's recent troubles. They all seem solid as hell, very knowledgeable and quite decent.
M Club is a pissy little Niles Crane, but he's perfectly fine when it comes to talking football. Wolverine Steve, too. Solid. All the Michigan fans are good. Like chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven, or fucking your really hot sister, Shoalzie might be literally impossible to dislike, and he knows his football. He's very objective too. Objectivity seems to be the hallmark of the Big 10 fans.
Except for...
...and I think you all know where this one is headed...
...
.......Iowa fan. Jon cares. I'll give him that. His passion is commendable. It helps push things along here. His myopia is legendary, too. He's got Jsc levels of myopia, which is cool. He's occasionally funny, and he's always a total spazz. He can vividly recollect and worshipfully describe the ballsack scent of Iowa's third string tight end from the '98 squad.
He's a masterful mongoloid.
Still, that beats Mace, who's just an old, gray dirtclod clinging to the mudflap of a beat up old F-350. Mace knows football. No disputing that. He just has no clue as to how to talk about football, or anything else for that matter. Reading his posts is like watching an empty fish tank.
I miss Goober, the Wisconsin fan. Loved his battles with other Big 10 fans.
The Big XII: A+
Year in, year out, these guys are by far the most fun reads we have here. They just hate each other. Bama and Auburn supposedly hate each other like no other, yet Spray and Sam would have no problem sixty-nining over a rerun of Today In The SEC. Similarly, it's nearly impossible to get Michigan and Ohio St fan here to cast even an untoward glance towards one another.
Not so, with Big XII fan here. Wags fucking loathes Kansas. You can feel it in his sack lunch. His daughter won't even eat Jawhawk pussy. Degenerate loathes everybody. He's awesome. There's this other Mizzou fan who occasionally posts here, Truman, I think, and he's good for some fine, visceral hatred.
Still...OU vs Texas fan. These guys just bring it, every damn year. B-t-H, Skull, Moby...vs Harv, Vito, et al. Now that Texas is good again, we're regrettably being subjected to mvscal and Prime jumping on the BTPCF bandwagon, when they were nowhere to be found most of the rest of the time, but Prime's such a good poster and his rips on OU are so heartfelt that I'll excuse mvscal's blatant Laker Fan behavior.
The Red River Shootout fans here, with their hatred for each other's program, that remains the single best thing about this board. They're also all pretty damn good posters, though Vito tends to stretch credulity quite a bit.
Good show you guys put on, without fail.
Overall, this is a pretty damn good board. We could use more Pac 10 fans, along with more Big East and ACC fans, but overall, yeah, this place does well.
